I have to get this over with

[Reenie]

Hi All: I got back from my vacation in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico with my husband this past Monday evening. We had a great time. We stayed at a beutiful resort where the food was good and tropical drinks were plenty. I've been home in NJ for close to 48 hours now. Not only do I cry having to come home to this dismal weather, I cry because I relapsed. I was sober for 7 months and 3 weeks. I'm very disappointed with myself. I should have had a plan that would have prevented me from temptation. When I got home, I didn't have the nerve to tell you about my slip until today. While I was away, I received several e-mails from MWO'ers stating that they have saved some of my posts and have found me to be an inspiration. I'm so sorry if I let anyone down. I can't stop crying. Well, my sobriety date is no longer July 3rd. I'm starting from scratch again. My new and final sobriety date is February 25th. As you can tell, I'm full of remorse and am very emotional. I truly feel the margaritas have had a negative effect on my emotions and nervous system. I so look forward to the alcohol leaving my body and cells once again. The temporary high of drinking is exciting at first. The after math isn't worth it. I haven't had to deal with these feelings in over 7 months. My God, that was last summer. Nothing changes. The feelings of guilt, remorse, snitty little fights, over eating, losing things, coping with a headache and not remembering...... all remains the same. I liked how I felt and who I was those past 7 plus months. I want that person back and I'm going to get her back. Love, Reenie

[Chief]

I have to get this over with

You are back, Reenie...

Don't take this lightly....see it for what it is...a lapse in judgement. Don't allow it to be a relapse back to drinking. You must take control now and get right back to it...

Thanks for being honest and posting.....a judge of character..

Don

[Guest]

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Awww Reenie.........please don`t be sad and never feel you have let anyone here down. Remember how I slipped after 5 mths ?.........I got drunk at the wake on Jan. 15th ?.......well, I`ve been almost effortlessly sober again ever since.

You made a little faux pas, that`s all.........you`ll bounce back to AF no problem, because you`ve been living that way and enjoying it for a whole 7 mths.........you ARE indeed an inspiration and you will continue to be so. You really want to be sober........says you will be........I have every faith in you. :l

Starlight Impress xxx

[lucky 2.0]

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I have every faith in you too reenie. Stay positive and look forward. Beating yourself up does not help, IMHO.

xoxo

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

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Reenie,

Of course we forgive you, but can you do me a favor please?

Will you allow yourself a little forgiveness? Please? You are right- alcohol and margaritas didn't have to be on vacation with you, but it was. Did you still enjoy your days, and the sunsets you shared with your husband? Did you guys create wonderful memories together?:beach:

If so, let it go.... it's part of the memory. Mr. Al snuck in bed and you guys had a threesome.... oh well. Now that you are back home, in the confines of your wonderful home that's covered with a snowy blanket, keep Al out. :bigwink:

Don't let feelings of guilt, remorse, and shame ruin your vacation, dear. Tell us about the wonderful Mexican tours and adventures... :huggy:

Much love,
Patty

[Reenie]

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Thanks all. I'm still crying. Starlight, yes, I remember when you slipped in January. I was surprised and sad for you. I know you were going through a real tough time. I also find you an inspiration. You picked yourself up and dusted yoursel off despite your slip and loss of life. All of you are an inspiration and are very supportive. Patty, I did have a great time in Mexico and brought back "some" memories. They've been clouded over by guilt and a bit of a black out. All, I didn't drink everyday, just the last night I was there. I caved in on my last night of vacation. Luv you all, and thank you for being there for me.

[wonderworld]

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Reenie, I'm so sorry. I know that sick feeling of losing a cherished sobriety date. It hurts. My last lapse after a long period AF happened when I was traveling too.

In a couple of days, you will feel like your old self. It doesn't take long, mercifully. Stay close until the storm passes.

In the big picture, this will be just a blip.

Love wonder xx

[Hammer_OTG]

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Oh man, I have to go to Mexico with my husband next week. It's a well needed vacation but the whole drinking thing has me very anxious. I was doing alright last fall but moderation eventually deteriorates into insanity. After a month or so it just escalates with me.Today is AFday 1 for all over again after a badly debilitating binge. My husband of 13 yrs. who has always in the past stressed moderation finally said "maybe you just shouldn't drink , ever" he also said maybe I need an exorcist (he was being facetious) but once that first drink gets ahold of me it owns me. Anway, don't beat yourself up. You sound like a really strong person. Way stronger than i am for sure. :thanks:

[Guest]

I have to get this over with

Hey Reenie.........you only slipped on the very last night of your vacation.......loads of people would have been so carried away by such a lovely holiday that they`d have drank from the minute they arrived. Now c`mon........dry your eyes........it`s over and done with. A slip just makes you appreciate being sober all the more.

Starlight Impress xxx

[Beaches]

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Reenie, please don't be so hard on yourself. We are only humans and each time we slip we learn more about ourselves. Hugs

[memarcie]

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Renee, it sounds like it was a huge learning experience. I think you will do very well at being prepared for these situations in the future!

You can and will do this!

[mya]

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Don't be hard on yourself, we are all human and have slip ups.
You will bounce right back in a couple of days and feel great again.
Hugs!!!!

[Cinders]

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Reenie,

Puerto Vallarta and you drank??

NOOOOO!!

:H :H

Actually, I am NOT making fun of it just trying to "make light" of it. How hard it would be to go to a place that panders to every need. (been to Cancun, know the whole thing..)

Do not waste a momemt's breath on worrying about what you did there. What you did in Puerto Vallarta stays there. What you do here, stays here...

I truly hope you had a wonderful vacation/holiday and are rested because now you are back to being Reenie!! Okay??

Love,
Cindi

[Lucy Van Pelt]

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Reenie


It is over and done


DONE

So you are back in the saddle..


that is it...foget it...you are back where you were with a "hiccup"...done over

BE PROUD

[greeneyes]

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Well... I had a whopping 9 days under my belt and went out of town with a GF. Hubby says "Can you do this?" Sure! I say. And no, I could not. I did not. But I am still proud of those 9 days and aspire to them. I can do it again. BGP will rise again.