I'm starting to feel a certain transgression with my sobriety at present which I'd like to share.
In the past I have always been stuck in negative thinking patterns and something, I think, is characteristic to those who have a 'drinking' problem. My negative thought process would always blow things all out of proportion and have me believing the world was about to end simply 'cause I couldn't achieve or do something to the standard I expected of myself. I have learned to actually start thinking about how I would of reacted in the past and how to avoid letting that completely take over the situation. I'm in no way perfect and there are still situations where I still have doubt and worry, I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But! there is definitely more 'structure' if you like to my thought process these days which allows me to see things clearer than I have ever done so for 10 years or more!!.
It's allowed me to have more confidence in myself which will hopefully (fingers crossed) have me studying on a course in Social Sciences with the Open University this May. I obviously want this to count towards a degree in the end but for now I am setting myself goals that are achievable. To study for a degree with the OU doing 1 x 60point course a year would take 6 years for me to complete. It sounds daunting if I look at it that way but If I choose to look at it differently and set myself realistic goals then YES I will eventually end up achieving my ultimate goal namely a degree.
I have also had some results back from my doctor over my latest liver/kidney function test which may or may not warrant further treatment. The results in certain areas have been high for a while now but have been monitored closely and so have not gone unnoticed. My previous way of thinking would have had me grasping for a spade, digging my own grave and promptly chucking myself in head first!. Anyway I'll wait to deal with things on Thursday when i see my GP.
I've always said from early on when I decided to give up drinking that my problem was not a drinking problem but a thinking problem. Situations life throws at us can not all be 'sorted' by the power of positive thinking and I do understand I still have a lot of learning to do. I missed out on a big life-learning curve during my impressionable years due to my drinking which kept me from this transgression I am now FINALLY making!!!
Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx
In the past I have always been stuck in negative thinking patterns and something, I think, is characteristic to those who have a 'drinking' problem. My negative thought process would always blow things all out of proportion and have me believing the world was about to end simply 'cause I couldn't achieve or do something to the standard I expected of myself. I have learned to actually start thinking about how I would of reacted in the past and how to avoid letting that completely take over the situation. I'm in no way perfect and there are still situations where I still have doubt and worry, I wouldn't be human if I didn't. But! there is definitely more 'structure' if you like to my thought process these days which allows me to see things clearer than I have ever done so for 10 years or more!!.
It's allowed me to have more confidence in myself which will hopefully (fingers crossed) have me studying on a course in Social Sciences with the Open University this May. I obviously want this to count towards a degree in the end but for now I am setting myself goals that are achievable. To study for a degree with the OU doing 1 x 60point course a year would take 6 years for me to complete. It sounds daunting if I look at it that way but If I choose to look at it differently and set myself realistic goals then YES I will eventually end up achieving my ultimate goal namely a degree.
I have also had some results back from my doctor over my latest liver/kidney function test which may or may not warrant further treatment. The results in certain areas have been high for a while now but have been monitored closely and so have not gone unnoticed. My previous way of thinking would have had me grasping for a spade, digging my own grave and promptly chucking myself in head first!. Anyway I'll wait to deal with things on Thursday when i see my GP.
I've always said from early on when I decided to give up drinking that my problem was not a drinking problem but a thinking problem. Situations life throws at us can not all be 'sorted' by the power of positive thinking and I do understand I still have a lot of learning to do. I missed out on a big life-learning curve during my impressionable years due to my drinking which kept me from this transgression I am now FINALLY making!!!
Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx
eace:
I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
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