I mean, I just started this program in January. I have been sober for about a month and totally AF for the last 14 days. My sobriety has opened my eyes to my relationship and I broke things off about 3 weeks ago. However, he is still under the delusion that things will work out and I can't get rid of him. We, of course, own a house together and under the current market it is difficult to sell. I have moved to the back of the house - luckily I travel for work and am gone most of the week and then try to spend my weekends at my cabin in the mountains (which is mine, not his).
SO, when I do come home, to touch base, pick up mail - do laundry, whatever - he always wants to prove to me how he has "changed" and seems to be under this delusion that he can win me back with these little tricks....
So, last night, I get home from a week of traveling. I am exhausted, it's 10pm - I have just spent a VERY bumpy plane ride home.
And then I just lost it. As if all the desperation, hard work, pain, suffering, withdrawals, doubt, relapses/guilt, etc I went through to get where I am in the last two months was worth nothing and ONE hard week of travel and work was going to make me throw it all away and drink a bottle of wine with him - what a complete f____g idiot.
Maybe I'm being too hard on him - maybe he was just trying to help. or, maybe he needs me to drink so that he can hold onto me. I doubt it - I think he's just plain S.T.U.P.I.D.
Thanks for letting me vent.:l
Peace,
Deb
SO, when I do come home, to touch base, pick up mail - do laundry, whatever - he always wants to prove to me how he has "changed" and seems to be under this delusion that he can win me back with these little tricks....
So, last night, I get home from a week of traveling. I am exhausted, it's 10pm - I have just spent a VERY bumpy plane ride home.
He asks me: "So, are you still doing that no drinking thing?"
I answer, very calmly: "yes" - as if I haven't told him a million times that I am sober now and that i is one of the many reasons that I can no longer be with him (he's a BIG drinker)
He asks: "Well, for how long has that been going on?"
I answer again: "Well, as usual, you don't listen to a word I have said - it has been 4 weeks."
He says: "well, cause I bought you a bottle of that Shiraz wine you like, I thought you might need it after the week you had"
I answer, very calmly: "yes" - as if I haven't told him a million times that I am sober now and that i is one of the many reasons that I can no longer be with him (he's a BIG drinker)
He asks: "Well, for how long has that been going on?"
I answer again: "Well, as usual, you don't listen to a word I have said - it has been 4 weeks."
He says: "well, cause I bought you a bottle of that Shiraz wine you like, I thought you might need it after the week you had"
And then I just lost it. As if all the desperation, hard work, pain, suffering, withdrawals, doubt, relapses/guilt, etc I went through to get where I am in the last two months was worth nothing and ONE hard week of travel and work was going to make me throw it all away and drink a bottle of wine with him - what a complete f____g idiot.
Maybe I'm being too hard on him - maybe he was just trying to help. or, maybe he needs me to drink so that he can hold onto me. I doubt it - I think he's just plain S.T.U.P.I.D.
Thanks for letting me vent.:l
Peace,
Deb
I will no longer give the BEAST any power over me - he can go straight to hell.
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