prehaps im over sensitive i knowe the periods of drinking then not drinking are getting longer thank god
spoke to betty this afternoon
then i got a call from my publisher (small) that the first draft of my novel has been excepted !
i think sometimes ive done something im not worthless etc
whateever my brother says
ive limited my self to 4 hinekeen tonite only beer i drink
when i get money up ill go to usa again visit jimmy deans grave again
but fisrt things first .
i fel trapped sometimes by family stick on my music listening to the disturbed at the mo .
i think my mother will move abraod and live with my borther good
i got to get out of this area its a scum hole etc
like betty siad when i first came here i was really bad drinking doing drugs sitting on the street etc but i have tried i know the addictive side of me will always be there till i die , we all have our crosses to bear an this is mine
thats why i dont belive in going somewhere else to sort out my problems ie another country i do it from here ive never really been drawn to the east ie thier philosphy
probably agree with old jim morrison the west is best
so i struggle in my own way
i gave a couple of pounds to someone in camden town today and he spat on me saying it wasnt enough oh well
i should always be thankful i have a roof over my head
one day ill go the usa and hit the road and never been seen again
love all
jay
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