I have been on and off here the past two weeks and finally feel well enough to write a bit.
The FLU-VIRUS-FROM-HELL nailed me ... and hard this year!! :upset: I'll say one thing; for (10) days I woozed in and out of my life with promises to God of "living right." Pretty crappy way to quit smoking AND drinking, I must say.
But I must give pause when I think of a few flu/boozing dichotomies ...
1. BOOZE: Why did I consider it "normal" to poison myself with booze until I puked? In fact, I often wished I could puke more often to get rid of the coming hangover.
FLU: I was scared of poisoning myself with meds (on a self-diagnosed "tenuous liver") and was seriously frightened by vomiting and thoughts of choking.
2. BOOZE: Killed the need for food calories as a convenience to dieting (course I always forgot to count the liquid calories *eyeroll*). Loved it when my lips got "numb" and I knew the brain was quick to follow.
FLU: Bombarded all my senses to death. Could not smell or taste ... and the numbness in my mouth remains. Even chicken soup only burnt from heat ... no flavor. I bought vinegar/salt chips and could merely sense texture.
3. BOOZE: Ok. We've all been there. Didn't quite make it to the bathroom in time and wet our panties on MANY occasions. Hell .. pajamas, dresses ... even ditched a pair of pantyhose in a hotel bar bathroom because I "forgot" to take them down before I used the ladies room.
FLU: Good God, Sweet Jesus. I have had fear of coughing, sneezing, farting, blinking, breathing .... You guys have no idea how many times I showered and changed pajamas in the past (10) days.
Just had to vent all of this. See? I've had too many days of delirium lately and all this crap has been running through my mind. Speaking of "running" ... I am not really seeing a significant weightloss through this entire ordeal, dammit!! Makes me think I really was just full of ....
Anyway ... makes you wonder why we abuse ourselves in this disease without a second thought ... then bargain with God when we feel a "true disease" is kicking our butts.
Love to all.
- Masq
The FLU-VIRUS-FROM-HELL nailed me ... and hard this year!! :upset: I'll say one thing; for (10) days I woozed in and out of my life with promises to God of "living right." Pretty crappy way to quit smoking AND drinking, I must say.
But I must give pause when I think of a few flu/boozing dichotomies ...
1. BOOZE: Why did I consider it "normal" to poison myself with booze until I puked? In fact, I often wished I could puke more often to get rid of the coming hangover.
FLU: I was scared of poisoning myself with meds (on a self-diagnosed "tenuous liver") and was seriously frightened by vomiting and thoughts of choking.
2. BOOZE: Killed the need for food calories as a convenience to dieting (course I always forgot to count the liquid calories *eyeroll*). Loved it when my lips got "numb" and I knew the brain was quick to follow.
FLU: Bombarded all my senses to death. Could not smell or taste ... and the numbness in my mouth remains. Even chicken soup only burnt from heat ... no flavor. I bought vinegar/salt chips and could merely sense texture.
3. BOOZE: Ok. We've all been there. Didn't quite make it to the bathroom in time and wet our panties on MANY occasions. Hell .. pajamas, dresses ... even ditched a pair of pantyhose in a hotel bar bathroom because I "forgot" to take them down before I used the ladies room.
FLU: Good God, Sweet Jesus. I have had fear of coughing, sneezing, farting, blinking, breathing .... You guys have no idea how many times I showered and changed pajamas in the past (10) days.
Just had to vent all of this. See? I've had too many days of delirium lately and all this crap has been running through my mind. Speaking of "running" ... I am not really seeing a significant weightloss through this entire ordeal, dammit!! Makes me think I really was just full of ....
Anyway ... makes you wonder why we abuse ourselves in this disease without a second thought ... then bargain with God when we feel a "true disease" is kicking our butts.
Love to all.
- Masq
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