The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

[Croft]

I had big plans to write about the rest of the trip in Vegas but I am just not in the mood. I will not disappoint so here are the highlights:

Saturday:
Road trip to Red Rocks Park features herd of big horn sheep!
Drunk guy pinches Croft’s butt at dance club. Croft punches drunk guy. Drunk guy gets thrown out. Croft dances on. Let the music play.
Teriyaki nachos taste bad.

Sunday:
Liberace museum shows how Liberace put the “gawd” in gaudy.

March:
The CD player is lying by the bed and cobwebs are starting to form on the headset while rust forms on the very inviting escalator. My arms no longer feel like getting heavy and my ability to moderate is starting to grow weak. I am losing my desire to line up the supplements every day and my gag reflex is starting to return. Why do they have to make those pills so big? My fingers still tingle with topo but taking it everyday, I am starting to wonder if it is still going to work.

March is not going well and it appears that my passion for this whole thing has run out. I had big plans for March but now I can hardly get my lips puckered up to kiss the postman when he delivers the Kudzu. What’s worse is that I can see AL lurking in the corner, watching, waiting, knowing that it is just a matter of time before I crumble. My drive by the liquor store is getting slower. I contemplate more and wonder just how much I can push this whole moderate thing. The last thing I want to do is admit to those people who told me I could not moderate that maybe I can’t. In fact, maybe I will hang on just one or two days longer and blame them for allowing this to go on too long. That will show them!

I need to find some renewed vigor for my march. My March! My MARCH FOR MARCH!

[Suzanna]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Oh Croft, my friend, I feel what you are going through right now. You think AL is a big party animal again, and abs is something librarians do. Nothing could be more wrong! AL will make you comatose in the morning, did you forget so soon what it was like? AL is not fun, AL is not your friend, maybe you need a short little reminder of that on your journey but don't let him suck you in too far. Realize also that gals who abs are some swinging rockin' gals who are strong and sharp, and a force to be reckoned with!!!

PS I take my supps later in the day cuz morning is gag time, so can relate.

[KateH1]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Hi Croft,
I appreciate your honesty. Sounds like you are doing a lot of soul searching right now. So many of us have gone through this very same decision. When the stress of trying to mod became so great that the only choices we have are, to just drink and suffer the consequences or stop and become non-drinkers.

I really encourage you to read the encouraging threads. Long Term Abstainers, 30, 60, 90 days and many others. I know that you will find encouragement there!

Good luck with this Croft.......I care!

XXKateH

[Determinator]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Croft...two things:

1) friends don't let friends eat teriyaki nachos.

2) going AF is not admitting defeat. it's the decision some of us reach after doing a lot of practical experimentation. I'ts a decision plain and simple. Please don't let other people's stupid stigmas affect you.

[Prest4time]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

So I cant eat teriyaki nachos in Vegas with D and Dx? Friends need to know these things....lol

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

You're going to have your ups and downs, that's part of this game....and we're here to win it. You might not be a moderator, everyone has a different game plan, you just need to find yours. Hang in there girl : )

[skootiemom]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Croft... somene said it best to me in chat the other day.... the honeymoon is over- now this new relationship with Al is going to take work? Is he worth the energy? I have decided to kick him completely out of the house for now. Now, that is not to say, that I don't want him back in some capacity in my life, but right now I need a complete break from the bastard to see how I really feel about him....

So far- 11 days- and yes, I have wanted to dial him up on occasion, but I know, as in every other relationship- time will heal, right?

Croft- stay strong and terriyaki nacho free!

Skoots

[4theboyz]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Croft, it is good to read you are sticking to your game plan with th Topo and all. Keep giving it your best and things will work out.

BTW, I'm sorry, but I do have to stick up for my fellow males and ask that you go a little easier on us, the poor guy you beat up on was only doing what he was hard wired to do and that's hit on the hottest looking babe in the room!

[Cinders]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Croft,

I wish I had some real words of wisdom. But I don't



However, I do have some words of encouragement.

If you wake up tomorrow and you are hungover, then don't drink for 30+ days.

If you wake up tomorrow without a hangover....ummm, you are not like me, a real drunk..

Oh you mean wake up and don't drink??

Cindi

ps, oh, you mean, trying to FIND the exit?? Where the hell is it? Ummm. I'll find it, hands on wall looking...... I am sober today, though!! Just got back from an AA Meeting. It was awesome.

Truly... awesome.

I wish I was kidding but you are there, too... Both of us, trying to find the freaking EXIT!!

[tlrgs]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

hey there croft remember god is on your side and i am praying for you. be strong life is to short to lose anymore to al.

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Crofty, oh Crofty, what are you going to do, dear?

Have you done 30 days AF? I know that we've joked about the cheeto fingernail polish and the white zinfandel from a box, but have you done 30 days? It's not a LIFE SENTENCE, for the love of Pete, it's a break. On day 31, decide again, dear.

Even though you're sad and your creative spirit is dampered, I am personally VERY proud of you for making it through Vegas without the paparazzi exposing your secret pole fetish:shocked:.... how did you hide that, girl? Do you remember your adventure last year with the girls? Let me take that back... do you remember what you don't remember from last year's trip?
Yep, you did a mellow trip this year, and that's wonderful, honey.
Here's the deal: you missed your fun fling with hubby over Valentine's Day, and we mourned with you as you figured yourself out, and celebrated with you when your Prince kissed the Fair Maiden... what will happen if you put an OUT OF ORDER tag on that es-cu-lator?

Give yourself 30 days, Crofty.... I love you. :heart:

P.S. Who is this Pete, anyway, and why do I love him? :H

[Cinders]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Croft.

I am throwing down the "gauntlett" ( omg sp??)

and saying "Let's do 30."

Shit, please do not take me up on this!!

Love
Cindi

Please ignore this missive, Croft, and find someone else to drag along. not me. I am too tired. :-)

But do it!!(me, tooooo)
damn, okay Now I have to "watch" you.....

[livingfree]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Croft - This is such a "delicate" subject - it's like the debate between "political parties" I find on these threads. Thank you for being willing to open up the subject on a thread so honestly and openly.

Myself - I have been trying to "moderate" or "quit" for the past 15 plus years with out success. I did have one period of time 10 years ago that I went about 8 months without drinking. So when I was able to string together a number of days with out drinking after the first of the year I KNEW this was possibly "my little window" of opportunity to break free. To me it is now life or death. Maybe each person has to get to that point. I am at the point where I believe my WHOLE life depends on it. I am VERY afraid to drink again.

Those who truly can moderate --- have they reached THAT point? I personally believe if they can go 30 to 60 days without drinking and then drink moderately for a period of 3 to 6 months without going back to old habits during that 3 -6 months - then THEY can drink moderately. I would LOVE to be one of them - and I am not. This I know.

So - you have to ask yourself some tough questions.

As you do - I wrap my arms around you. This is tough. I laugh my way through many tears, but when I put my head on the pillow at night - I truly say - I CAN'T believe you drug me through another day God - because I KNOW I can't do this. But I must.

Croft - There are so many people here who love you dearly. Hugs to you

Liv

[dexterhead]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Hey Croftie Croft! I hear you my friend ... i've been struggling too... trying not to come on the boards as much because I feel like such a damned hypocrite ... bleahhhhh....
PS: I also was entranced by the Liberace museum. What was odd , thought, was that my friend and I were giggling over it all, while many of the elderly visitors seemed like they were viewing sacred relics

[betty boop]

The Rest of the Story about Vegas and Fallen Hope for March

Big Hugs Croft ........ be strong .........:l:l:l