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[lillyatter]

it is time for me to get real.I am hungover today,which usually I am not so much.Realize today that I drank about 2/3's of a bottle of Vodka ALL by myself last night.How f---ing DISGUSTING CAN i GET?honestly.I sit here on this stupid f---ing computer ,readinf posts,posting back,acting like I am doing something about my drinking problem.Bit i am NBOTDOING ENOUGH!!DUHY!!!!!NO S--IT!!!!!WHYAT IS MY PROBLEM???Really,can someone please tell me what the hell my problem might be?I am on:get this:CAMPRal AND TOPOMAX~!!!!!!I am taking L-glutamine,gaba,vitamin b,trying to drink plenty of water,I just can't f-ing get it together!I want to run otside and scrfeam to the world right now that i am the stupidest,worst,most pathetic excuse for a person and mother that there could ever possibly be!!!!!!I know that all of you nice sweet people here are going to want to post back to me that,"no,Rebecca,you are just a person w/ a problem,etc etc...no!!!Honestly,please don't....I am not usually one to be so hard on myself,but any mther who doesn't fricking get hard on herself at some point and suffer the consequenses of her stupid and bad actions is NOT doin her best!So I realie that I am a nice person and a good person,but I am telling all of you right now,that this bullshit has got to STOP!I am disgusted w myself.every single noise is making me jump this morning.I take my 4 year old to school late every single day because i don't want the other mom's to "see" me in the morning,as if they are going to k now that i drank too much the night before. I have been doing much better a lot of the time lately b ut the fact that i have nights like last night is just f-ing ridiculous.My husband is laeving and taking the computer to work,but i am posting again later....I hope everyone here will hold me accounbtable.i am sorry for my awful negative post,but if i didn't juist come out ans spew it here,i don't know what else to do!I am going to force myself to tell the worldwide web how i am doing,so here goes nothing!I AM BETTER THAN THIS!!!!thank you for listening :h

[dexterhead]

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Hi Rebecca,
I just wanted to tell you I am feeling very much the same way you are. angry with myself, disgusted, etc. Don't have any advice, just wanted to say I/we are here for you. :l:h

[Thankful]

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Rebecca, take some deep breaths. Really deep, calming breathes.

Ok, so you don't want to be coddled. I can totally respect that. But I will not join in the "let's beat up Rebecca game". You are not a bad person.

The only advise I can offer, hun is to start at the beginning. Seriously think (and write a list) of what actually triggers you to start drinking. Is it stress, boredom, happy hour, etc.? Really give this some thought. Once you get those down, you have to analyze them again. Ex: What was it about that exact stressful episode that made you drink?

When you figure out your triggers, you are better armed with the information needed to stop the nasty cycle. Does that make sense? It's a matter of changing daily patterns and it is not that difficult to do. You just have to be willing to give it a try.

Drink a lot of water today. And try to eat something. We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l

[charlee]

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Rebecca
I won't be the one to beat you up, you are doing a good job of that yourself. I have been there...most of us have...Make this your new day one and just start over. You are doing all the right things with the supps and water and your body says thank you.....Keep it up...We are here for you, try and stay close to the boards......let yesterday lie, today is a new day.... a new opportunity for change.....

[cowgal]

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personally

Personally, I had to "have enough" I was just sick and tired of being sick and tired!! I coulnd't go on like I was....................I mean I REALLY COULDN'T!! I did go on for a long time drinking when I shouldn't have, I mean I am 44 years old for Pete's sake!! That's ALOT of partying!! I think it is about time I grow up!! That is just for me................

And keeping busy, developing a fitness program I am comitted to............being comitted to STAY stopped now that I have stopped, that is what it is about today...............getting stopped was a bit of dedication too..........We will all be here to give you advice, everyone here has REALLY helped me get to the 19 or so days I have AF now!

This is just what I have found for myself, hope it can help!???

love ya!!! :h:l

MA

[betty boop]

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Rebecca, the part of your post that said, 'I have been doing a lot better lately' says that you are winning.

Your honesty is amazing, but I really think that 30 days AF would be good right now, you have all the tools and the lovely people here will help you along ........

Take care, BB xx

[sammys]

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Hey, I did something real similar last nite, like an idiot I just drank to forget about things. I am disgusted with myself and feel like total shit. You are right enough is enough. We have got to get our shit straight.

I feel for you and I am kicking you in the ass and kicking myself harder.

We need to get a grip,
Sammys

[bestlifeldms]

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Rebecca,

You are exactly right! You are better than this! All of us are! We deserve better and those who love us deserve better! Comes a time when we have to kick ourselves in the arse and say, enough is enough!

I am so there, too! Imagine how enraged we would be if someone else was giving our small child a substance that is this harmful to the human body! We would be like a raging mother lion! Yet we do it to ourselves. Doesn't make any sence!

So, again - You are better than this, we all are!

Supporting you personal butt-kicking! :moon:

:h Best

[trixietrack]

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over doing it always hurts and makes one feel like absolute shit! I did so last week and just felt awful about myself and my life and my lack of control.

I guess that there is some part deep inside of us that does not Fucking understand that if A) you drink too much , the next day will be awful. and B) if we doi it again it will be worse.

[Princess Fiona]

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Hi there Rebecca...
I think at some stage we've all hit where you are right now, woken up, hungover or worse, still pissed from the night before and taken our kid to school, know I did, often, each time, I vowed....this is the last time..ha ha,would feel lousy all day, then had the hair of the dog that chewed me, dont berate yourself, half the problem is to admit you have a problem, that you've done, being honest with yourself and to others, is a huge help, its taken me 10 years to stop the AL, tomorrow is 38 days, its taken stopping to realise, how big my problem is.....an uncontrolled drinker, shit, I miss it soooo much and cannot see myself never drinking ever again, but understand that if I start again, within days, I will be doing the same and bullshitting myself.....
Hang in there, MWO is fantastic, the support is great....we all understand, be kinder to yourself, and take one day at a time.:goodluck:

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

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The supplements didn't do a whole lot for me. I only made measureable progress from prayer and my own personal willpower. It's your brain controlling your body so you have to tame your wild brain.....does that make any sense? Anyway, that's what worked best for me.....mind over matter.




Take Care,



Myheart

[4theboyz]

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SLAP!! SLAP! SLAP! *SLAP!!! *

Rebecca!!

#1, Quit screwing around and *Get rid of the Booze!!!*

#2, If you can't do this for yourself, do it for the kid before it's too late to undo the damage these messed up mornings are undoubtedly causing to your child's self esteem.

#3, Get Help, tell your husband and at least a friend you need to stop drinking and do it.

#4, Check in here often and not just once a day! Get another computer if you have to they are so cheap now and just 1-2 months worth of booze can pay for one.

#5 Tell us why you are drinking, tell us why it hurts so, tell us why you want to stop drinking, we *are* listening and we do want to help you get through this.

Don't make me come over there and smack you around! You can do this - you *will* do this.

[Victory]

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It does get better

Oh lilly we have all done that at one time or another, the only way is not to pick up the first drink. It?s that simple and that hard. Try again. Berating yourself doesn?t really help in fact it makes it worse for me. Thinking of you today. Aunty Vic :h

[wine is not divine]

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remember the good days, remember the effort you have made, congratulate yourself. the fact that you are still logging on, posting and AWARE means you still want to beat AL and you are making progress. think about it...

[Noelle]

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4theboyz, you said exactly what I wanted to say, only much, much better. Rebecca, go back to his post and read it again!