Got the book, read to the 4th chapter and boy by 4pm I was done. Reading her story and about her mother just killed me. I so can relate but me as the mother. Pisses me off that Iam like that.
So by 4pm I was done. The AL refs just got me going. I am sure she didnt mean it as a go get AL NOW book but I did. 458 and I was in my car, got to the store, got my favorite beer and a pack of smokes and well here I am.
Sorry that Iam is this way. I planed all week that I was going to be good. But I wasn't. I can say that Iam happy to go almost 5 days. Normally it doesnt go that far. So not sure if thats a win or a loss.
During my first post I was told that I need more help than this program. I did the AA thing, its not for me. I dont believe the same things they did in the way they did. IF YOUR SENSITVE DONT READ THIS but I Also felt like I am better than the losers in this program and sick of listening to their whine after whine. **** I did the outpatient treatment and I played perfectly through it to get my license back ( and no I have thankfully never had an acciedent during a DUII). I think this program can work for me if I just start the sups. I need to do that soon.
**** I do realize that I have the same issues but was not ready to accept my place there.
Dont get me wrong, I love all the support I have received here and I need more but please dont shoot me for being truthfull.
Iam sorry for anyone that I have offended and sorry for not meeting up to your expectations. I dont know what else to say.
I will suffer tommorrow. I will regret tonight. I will do this again, as I am only human. I love you all.
Sorry.
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