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[greeneyes]

When you cry at your desk. When your therapist tells you are an enabler. Which you know is true. When you think you may have to leave your mate. Help me get a grip - I have to face people and I am teary. Who will want me in a new job? Can I do this? Where is that cellular level thing I speak of? " I'm doing great, and you?"

[Noelle]

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(((((Greens))))) You're teary because all your emotions are coming to the top where you have to deal with them. See if you can get someplace where you can cry safely and let it all out! You'll feel a lot better.

Back at ya. "I'm doing great too."

[dexterhead]

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Hey greenie -- Noelle has good advice --- go somewhere for a cry and a primal scream. :l:l

[KateH1]

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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Greene}}}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Yep! Noelle gave some great advice!

Just, remember, it takes time to work through all of this.......you will do it, one step at a time!

XX KateH

[Croft]

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I am so sorry Smiley Toes. I totally feel for your predictament. I bet you feel like you are going to explode with tears. Yes, if you can go somewhere where you can let it all out. I like to cry in the shower.

And, yes, this is clearly not the best time in life to be looking for new jobs. You hang in there. We are all pulling for you. PULL PULL!!!

:huggy

[Cinders]

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Greeneyes,

I know there is some co-addiction thing going on with you and your mate. I know that is difficult.

Does his addiction tie into yours such that it hard for you to stay sober?

If so, then maybe a separation is justified.

Otherwise, I would consider NOT doing anything life changing right now. You are not in a good frame of mind to do it. Rehab recommends not making any major life decisions for at least a year after you get sober.

However, like I stated above, if his addiction affects you so adversely you cannot stay sober, then that is not an option.

Hugs, :l:l
Cindi

[jane jane]

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Now, wait a bit, Green Bean---"leave your mate"??? That's the part that worries me most. Are you saying that he's thinking of leaving YOU? And exactly how much better off would you two be apart? I assume you a re legally married, and took part in the sacrament that includes the words "for better or for worse,"---BELIEVE those words, and hold your husband to 'em, as well. If he wants to crawfish, then make him feel guilty! (Perfect opposite of being an "enabler"...

[cowgal]

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let it out

Greeneyes, let it out like Noelle and the others have said, and I agree that if hubby is affecting your ability to stay AF, then you may have to leave him at least for a while........

that is what people have told me, just passing it along.............

love you,:h:l

MA

[greeneyes]

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Cindi, I know... everything I have read says don't move out, don't change jobs while you are trying to straighten up. Maybe it's my life path to yank him up and drag him along with me rather than the reverse. Gosh I hope I have the strength for both of us.

[Noelle]

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After you've drug him for a while, he'll at least get to his knees. If he doesn't, well.....you'll know what to do.

Please smack your husband on the hand to get his attention. You may have to do this repeatedly.

[greeneyes]

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What I said was a snarky remarkk about hubby. I need to be uplifting. So I deleted it. Good girl greenie.

[Laurav]

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Oh Greenie,
I am so sorry to hear of your struggles.
Try not to pile too much on your plate at once.

xxoo
Laura

[livingfree]

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Beaner ...

Beaner - I know a while back you mentioned Rehab - It isn't always an option for people - but maybe in your case - it would give you some time apart from him while you are working on your own life and trying to sort these things out.

You have made much progress - do not let anything stand in your way. Even your relationship, because in the end your drinking will destroy that anyway - so you need to get better first and foremost and then the relationship can be dealt with or healed.

Love to you
Liv

[trixietrack]

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grenie, don't do anything, just cry it all out. you are in no position to make decisions. just focus on healing. the bad feelings will pass.

Trix

[Thankful]

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Green, I just want to offer my 2 cents. I have no advise for you and hubby. Only you know deep down inside what the right thing to do is. I would only say make sure you've talked everything out face to face, get it all out, etc., before making any decision. Too many couples don't communicate these days. They just think their partner should know how they feel and what they are thinking. Just talk first, ok? Boy, I guess I did have advise on that.

Anyway, I wanted to let you know that when I was trying to quit, I was very emotional for about 3-4 weeks. I would cry at the drop of a hat. Sometimes I had a reason. Sometimes I didn't. It's ok to cry. Don't be afraid to let it go. Why hold it in anyway? Hang in there. Green, the longer you stay sober the better you will feel. You have to believe that. This emotional roller coaster will pass. Please just ride it out.

I hope this helps.

Love, Me
:l