Hopeless

[5thaday]

I've hit a serious low. I had nearly 30 days AF, and then I made the dumb move of having a bottle of wine 2 weeks ago. After 2 weeks, I'm right back where I started, only worse. I drank a ton of whiskey tonight, and worse, I smoked my first 2 cigarettes in nearly 8 years!! Had I not been drinking, this never would have happened! I feel like all the accomplishments I've made over the past 10 years (in quitting smoking) have gone to shit. In reality, I'll probably resume quitting smoking, being that I'm an athlete, but I'm sure people here can relate to how I feel over my bullshit decision. This is so fuckin' stupid! I wish I had never experimented with alcohol, tobacco, etc. Well, back to the whiskey- peace out everyone.

[azmtnbiker]

Hopeless

Sorry to hear you got back on the wagon. I know where you are coming from. After 3 weeks of limiting myself to 6 beers per week(which for me is nothing) this past weekend I binged for 3 straight days. I still feel like crap and my nicotine addiction has come back again. I stayed off the cigs but I am chewing snuff like I cannot get enough of it again. All I can say is try to stay positive and try and try again. I know if I would have read this board some more when I thought I was making a break through then I might not be drinking as much as I am now again.
Sorry, not much help but I guess it helps to hear I am not alone in this battle. I try to believe that we can beat this terrible drug.

[tea]

Hopeless

Morning to you 5th, hope that Whisky is all finished now, if so then no doubt you will be consumed with guilt and disgust. Start the rest of your life from NOW, be good to yourself today and KEEP posting. We will all be rooting for you today to not pick up that glass. Sorry there is no magic cure when we are feeling like this but there IS loads of support, we are all shoulder to shoulder here and my hand of friendship is out to you. Take care of yourself.

Lxx

[Miming]

Hopeless

Glad to read your post. It has made me more determined not to try going back to that first drink. Hope things get better for you. Take care ...

[Captnjack]

Hopeless

Hi 5th,

Not hopless at all mate. I have found your posts to be some of the most inspiring intelligent and on the mark from my perspective. I wouldnt despond you had 30 days af thats not a new low you are way ahead the way I see it. Toss the whisky and start again happy to join you Im on 8 days AF at the moment. Hang in and remember those 30 days and how good you felt. This sucker can be beat dont let it beat you. It can be done. Lets prove it.
All the best
Danny

[Lotus]

Hopeless

I can really empathise with you as I have gone back to my old habits regarding drinking. I've done this so many times.....have successful AF periods convince myself that I can now control my drinking and slowly end up creeping back to drnking more and more. Do you know what I was just about to post a thread saying that I need a kick up the backside.

I hope you are still not drinking the whiskey - for the time being I have started to take my kudzu and L.Glutamine. It's not nice falling off the wagon, but I always encourage myself by remembering the successful AF days I have had. Keep posting and reading.

Take care.
Mandy x

[Suzanna]

Hopeless

Hi 5thaday, I hope you dump out the whiskey, that simple act can be empowering and you can go on from there. 30 days is an accomplishment that nothing can take away from you. I have just a thought, if you pm RJ about changing your member name to something more empowering, I bet it would help. Peace to you too.

[Breez]

Hopeless

Stand up and brush yourself off. It depends on how you look at it.

You can look at this slip as part of making a new change in whatever you have been doing in your life that led up to it.
Obviously something needs to change. Learn from your slip. Nothing will change in your life unless YOU change it.
There are no miracles only hardworkers. I have often said this here before - sobriety is not for sissies. You have done 30 days and you can do it again-only now you need to change a few things & prepare yourself.
Nobody gets it right the first time. And with each attempt you get wiser and stronger-as long as you never stop trying or believing in yourself.

[Accountable for Me]

Hopeless

I wanted to say not all is lost here. I have loved reading your posts and agree with someone else who said that they are written very intelligently. Having a couple of smokes and a slip is not what makes you, you. You had 30 days - and that is something no one can take away from you.

Hop back on the saddle, and pick up where you left off. I know you can do it.

[KateH1]

Hopeless

Hi, Hopeless,

First of all......change your name!!! Second, through out the wiskey! You will not have any clear thinking unless you are sober. You were doing well..............you drank.........you can become sober again! It is up to you. I think the fact that you came here says that you want sobriety! So, do whatever it takes to become a non-drinker!

Best Wishes,
Kate

[FallenAngel]

Hopeless

5thaday;289344 wrote: I drank a ton of whiskey tonight, and worse, I smoked my first 2 cigarettes in nearly 8 years!! Had I not been drinking, this never would have happened! I feel like all the accomplishments I've made over the past 10 years (in quitting smoking) have gone to shit.

Hey...how are you doing right now?
Your post really hit home for me on a couple of things. I had quit smoking for about 2-3 years, and made the stupid mistake of thinking I could have "just one". Yeah right... as they say, there's no such thing as "one"...they travel in packs.... and I learned that the hard way. It took me 8 long years to quit again (and I have now been quit for a year and a half ). Don't let a slip ruin your quit... get rid of the smokes & consider it a lesson learned. Do that with the booze too... you were doing great.... so pick yourself up, dust yourself off & get back in the saddle. Think about what made you make those decisions & what you can do to prevent that from happening again. This can be a mere bump in the road, not a detour... the choice is yours.
K.

[APerry36]

Hopeless

everytime i quit and mess up and drink again, the feeling of regret and shame burn more clearly into my brain and i remember that feeling the next time i think about drinking and it gets that much easier to turn it down. so in a sense you're that much closer to finally "having it with yourself" and never drinking again. you were obviously enjoying your sober life more than you enjoy your drinking life- get back on...