Not myself

[hart]

Boy I'm having a hard time at work today. I haven't been on any anti-depressant since, well was I don't really know....five days? The last one prescribed had some side-effects that were intolerable and I don't like my doc.

So rather than face him....................okay let's be honest, I've tried to be honest on this board. I have not been trying hard to stop drinking for a while. Every doc has their "thing", mine happens to be alcohol. So every time I go to him he lectures me. I understand, it is bad for me in every way, what DOES piss me off though, is that he doesn't say anything to Joe, also his patient. Joe drinks as much or more than me. Joe doesn't even admit he's an alcoholic, yet, I am the one who gets lectured. Be equal!

So anyway, bottom line, I'm w/o anti-ds and I'm weepy and the thing I usually laugh off or can smile at, I'm not...........everything is gray. Hard to work as everyone keeps asking what's wrong, as I'm a bubbly person w/high energy normally. Sigh. So when they ask my eyes tear up.......you get the idea. Plus I'm trying to learn a new job to back up someone on vacation and I can't concentrate.

I bit the bullet and called another doc. I see her Monday. I just wish I could go to sleep until then, but I have too much to do. If I could shake this sadness and lack of concentration it would sure help.

Well at least I'm not a brain surgeon!

[Doggygirl]

Not myself

Hi hart. Just want you to know I'm thinking about you. I've never taken anti-depressants, so can't be of much direct help. It sounds good that you have made an appt. with a different doc since the one you were seeing wasn't right for you. Is that the same one you were seeing back last late summer? I can't recall the details now but there was some really horrible thing that happened with one of the nurses. If you somehow kept tolerating that doc after that until recently....well...you're a WAY bigger person than I would have been!!!!!

I can sure understand why you feel the way you do about the doc when you get lectures, and hubby doesn't. At some point - the quantity of the drinking is what affects our bottom line health whether we acknowledge dependance or not. (well, I'm no doc but that seems a logical opinion, yes??)

I don't know if things like GABA or SamE help at all when you come off of a prescription anti depressant.....I hope you just hang in there one minute at a time until your appointment Monday.

I'll be here a LOT in the coming days / weeks so just yell if you need to talk. (especially if the weekends are as relatively quiet here as they used to be....)

DG
*

[Accountable for Me]

Not myself

I think having a good doctor plays a key role in our well being. Good for you for seeking out a new one. I know how draining it can be trying new anti-d's etc... but going off of them cold turkey can set you into a tizzy. Monday isn't too far off - so hopefully she will be able to help you.

I bet you are thanking the stars above that today is Friday. Only a few hours left at work, and then you can go home and just chill for the night.

Let us know how the new doc works out for you.

[trixietrack]

Not myself

hang in there hart. it's friday....... try not to be hard on yourself. much luck with your new doctor. I think it;s hard to find a doctor that makes one feel comfortable.

good weekend

[hart]

Not myself

(((DG, AFM, Trixie)))

Sure just wanted to make me :upset:, thanx a lot.......really.

[Thankful]

Not myself

Oh, Hart. I wish I could help you. While I was reading your post, I immediately thought she needs to change Docs and low and behold you have. Good for you for not dragging this out and making it worse on yourself.

I've never taken anti-d's, but I've seen what they can do to people (my dad included), so you be careful, hun.

Wishing you nothing but the best. Stay close this weekend, ok? We'll help you any way we possibly can.

Love, Me
:l

[MyOwnWoman]

Not myself

Hey Hart... (ya know I love ya)
You know that I can relate (remember when you called me and talked me out of jumping off a bridge??). Feeling this way SUCKS. I know that you are certain that only RX anti-d's will work for you, but can you try some supps just while waiting for the doc? I have been more depression free than I think I have been in my entire life since I've been consistent with taking my gaba, 5htp and st johns wort. And of course (you've heard this before) the less I drink the less depressed I am. Good news is those supps have also helped me to cut way back, and now I'm completely AF.

Is this a regular PCP doc? You know you could seek out one who deals specifically with addiction. I was referred to one by my PCP once. Apparently this kind of doc knows all about the chemistry of a drinker, so can prescribe just what is best for your depression and drinking. When you see this new doc Monday, if she doesn't much impress you how about asking for a referral to an addiction specialist? I mean, surely depression in a heavy drinker must be at least somewhat chemically different than depression in a non-drinker, and therefore the meds might need to be different.

Hugs to you Dear Hart.

[trixietrack]

Not myself

:h:h:l

for you hart

[Cinders]

Not myself

Hart,

I know and totally understand the "tears in the eyes" thing. Still doing it.

I found a really good Doctor today, one who cares, one who is tough and doesn't let me get by with my bs (you and I are smart, we can bs with the best,) he just talked to me in a calm understanding way. Wow. It was so refreshing!!

You may or may not need anti-depressants. Like I told my doc today, "I don't know what my REAL problems are, I am a drunk, I drink to make all of it go away."

This is why I asked for Antabuse. (not saying you should, you need to "find your own way") just saying, I need to get sober long enough to figure out what my real problems are.

He was so nice, so stern, so kind, so understanding. When I mentioned my gastric-bypass, he talked about it and questioned me on the significance. IT IS REALLY SIGNIFICANT. I was a "drinker" prior to GP I am a drunk after GP. He really listened.

Find a doc like that, Hart. You need one. Someone who really cares.

Oh, and btw, my doc is checking on my labs to make sure Antabuse won't hurt me and will call me back and let me know. Also, my vitamin D was deficient, my GP apparently does not understand that it can not just be gastric-bypass related by ALCOHOL related. He told me if my labs show vit D really deficient, he wants me on shots of vit D.

Wow. A good psychiatrist who cares, understands and won't let up. I love it!!

Hart, I know what you are going through. I understand the fear and the angst. I am there with you. You can get sober. So can Joe. You must take care of yourself, though, Hart. You must.

44/50 drinkers who don't quit DIE FROM THIS CRAP!!

Let's get to where we don't have to worry about dying from drinking but something else unrelated. Okay??

Love you very much, Hart. You are one of God's sweethearts. (Drunk or sober)

:l:l
Cindi

[Accountable for Me]

Not myself

Hmmm... was just doing something and I was thinking about you. You mentioned you were bipolar right? If I am wrong I do apologize!!! One thing that dawned on me a moment ago is that I had no idea I was until this summer. My doctor had me on several different anti-d's over the last 4 years and they only made me worse - or didn't agree with me, etc. He has me on a 'mood stabilizer' now, which is dirt cheap by the way, and I find I am feeling way more balanced now than I have ever been. Sure, I still have my ups and downs but they are no where near what they use to be. Also, my desire for drinking has almost completely diminished. Sure, I had a couple of times where I tipped back a few too many in the last few months, but that is nothing comparatively speaking of where I was over a year ago!

Dunno.... I could be way off the mark here. But if you are ... you may want to bring this up with your new doctor. Getting onto the right medication will do you tons of justice.

[trixietrack]

Not myself

if you are bipolar don't take GABA it might trigger a manic episode

[Accountable for Me]

Not myself

I did not know that Trix. I don't take Gaba, but seeing my new addiction are supplements, I will be sure not to take it.

[Shikakai]

Not myself

Sounds like you're having a hard time, Hart... trust me, I've been there too... not able to stop drinking; maybe not trying as hard; people wonder what's wrong because we're depressed because we can't get this sh** out of our lives... it's hard and you're not alone.

We just have to keep trying, though.

I was supposed to contact Social Services about getting some mental health treatment for my depression, but I haven't done it yet.

Hearing about side effects to medications continue to scare me, but our dear sister"Lookingforhope" says she is doing much better.

I don't know... you hang in there, though.

[hart]

Not myself

Thank you everyone. RJ pmd me w/a list of natural stuff to take for my depression. So I'm stopping (it's even on my way home) and getting them!~

I luv some many of you.......and the rest of you aren't bad either :thanks:

[memarcie]

Not myself

{{{{Hart}}}}

I hope your new doc can help. Know that I'm here and thinking of you.

:h