Question about AA

[NCFrank]

Hi everyone,

I just signed up and I have a question. I've had a problem with drinking for a while and I've always tried to quit on my own. I made it four months about a year ago, but now I've finally decided that I can't do it on my own, and every time I go back it gets worse.

Anyway, I finally decided I was going to check out AA on Saturday at a meeting in the area, and wound up making an excuse not to go. I want to go tomorrow night, and it says it's a 'closed step' meeting. I don't know what step they're going to be talking about, probably not one, but I don't want to put it off until Thursday when they have a beginner's meeting. My question is will it be useful for me to go? And if I do go, do you think someone will be there to guide me in the right direction before or after the meeting? I have no idea how all this works, and it's taken a lot to finally get me to decide to go to one of the meetings, and I just don't want it to be a bad experience...

[livingfree]

Question about AA

Frank

Frank - I don't know how big of an area you are in but there are usually more than one meeting every day even in small towns. I would see if you can get a hold of someone in the area who is involved with them and get more information. You could always show up at the "closed step" meeting and just get support - but if they are on step 12 - you might feel a little left out.

I am very familiar with AA - but am not involved with AA - so I hope I am not misleading you in responding to your question. I was just noticing that there are not very many people on the boards tonight and I didn't want you to be left alone!

Liv

[Breez]

Question about AA

Hi & Welcome NCF!

I've done a few AA meetings a long time ago and am not that familiar with closed meetings. Maybe someone will come along and could answer it. But what I can suggest is calling the AA hotline # and ask them. They are very nice volunteers who are more than willing to answer your question and possibly steer you to another meeting you may not be aware of.

Good luck & glad you found us!

p.s. one word of advise-even if the meeting is a bad experience don't give up on it, always try another one. I've been told to search till you find one that suits your needs.

[lucky 2.0]

Question about AA

AA has a high suicide rate. I would stay away. I detest AA, although do believe in a spiritual approach. Before you go, check out this link: Orange Papers

Then if you attend, you are @ least informed.

There are many ways to find success. The evidence just does not point towards AA.

Good luck. I wish you well. Do not lose hope. MWO is a great program and there are others as well. AA just happens to suck.

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

Question about AA

NC Frank,
Welcome to My Way Out~ I hope you find the support you need here. I can understand making excuses for not going to a meeting, because once you make that first step, you've started a journey where you don't hold all of the power anymore.... I say GO. You've finally found the courage- don't back down now, friend! :cheering

I looked up "closed AA meetings" on the internet, and that means that the meeting is specifically for Alcoholics (no relatives or friends - they are welcome at "open" meetings.)

For more information, you might want to look here.... I've included their intro:
Your First AA Meeting

Practically nobody looks forward to going to their first AA meeting. In most cases this in fact is an occasion of extreme shame, dread and despair. The majority of individuals going to AA for the first time are doing so reluctantly, either because they have promised someone else to go or because they have been directed to attend by a judge, an employer, a therapist or an addictions treatment program. Even first timers who "go on their own" are usually in an intensely ambivalent and negative state. Nobody wishes to require the help that is provided by AA, and as a result virtually everyone attending their first meeting wishes that they were someplace else doing something else.

It is in fact an act of great courage to walk into an AA meeting for the first time. Many people with severe drinking problems simply lack the courage to take this first step under any circumstances. They commonly hide their fear by critical, often cynical remarks about AA and the people who do have the courage to attend. They may indulge themselves with elaborate philosophical, scientific and even political rationalizations for why they will never attend a single AA meeting. But at bottom they are simply too afraid to walk through the door. Still worse: they are unable or unwilling to be honest with themselves and others about their real feelings and hence continue to cloak their fear behind irrelevant and insincere theoretical objections.

The obvious and best solution to the problem of the normal anxiety and discomfort that are associated with attending one's first AA meeting is to go to the meeting with someone who knows the ropes. If no friend or acquaintance who happens to be an AA member is available, contact can always be arranged by calling the local AA Central Office and asking for a volunteer to telephone one. Although many people avail themselves of such measures to reduce the stress of their first AA meeting, many others find such logical preliminaries themselves too frightening and therefore do not follow them. It is principally to this last group, to those solitary and always frightened and confused "first timers," that this brief introduction is oriented.

Although there is a great deal of information about AA available on the web and in traditional print, there is surprisingly little to be found that deals with the practical concerns and fears of the individual who is attending or thinking of attending a meeting for the first time. The result is sometimes a kind of "culture shock" which takes place when the newcomer attends and is temporarily overwhelmed by the newness and strangeness of the experience. Even worse, people who seriously consider attending an AA meeting may decide not to do so because of the natural human fear of the unknown.

I hope you go, Frank, and decide for yourself if AA will help you. Keep us posted~ :heart:

[Victory]

Question about AA

Welcome

Hi and :welcome: NCFrank,
AA is not for me but has helped many people,
I say go and see, you may be one of the people that has success.
Keep us posted please.
Aunty Vic

[greeneyes]

Question about AA

Frank, First of all welcome :welcome:. I go to closed AA meeetings. It is the alkies. Not family members or friends who are not, etc. It is near my house and at a convenient time. Last week they were on step 10. I haven't even read one page of the book and am completely comfortable. I don't have to talk and I do not feel out of place for that. I just sit and listen to them share what that step means to them and their personal experiences. It's a lot like here but instead of print, it's human bodies. I like it. I walked in one night, first night actually, and when my butt hit the chair, I promptly (unexpectedly) began to cry. The subtleness of support was amazing. I felt wrapped in arms but without a spotlight. They also have speaker nights at which someone talks and shares their story. It is quite popular based on the number of available chairs :H It's only an hour. Some here at MWO don't like AA. Some do. Check it out for yourself. And as someone said, there are lots of meeetings. If you like the concept, shop around and find a group you like. I fell right into place with my first one and have no desire to shop. Good luck and hope to see you around here.

[barebones]

Question about AA

hi NC, i joined AA just over 2 months ago. as one has said closed meeting is just for AA memebers, not for friends or family to come a along. i have just learned that there is a number of diffrent kinds of meetings in usa, where im from uk is that we do hold a big book study meeting but mainly we just have normal meetings. which we havea chair person, a reader of big book and main share. then we go around group and if we want we share accounts of what we wish too. at meetings there should be leaflets about AA and books . telling u all about AA. as all meetings can be diffrent meaning there will be diffrent kinds of people there, new and old and just visisting from another area. your best bet is to check out diffrent ones to find one that makes u comfortable and have people that u can relate too.

im not a god person or even a spiriatual one at that, but im getting there on the higher power in what i think is represents and who it is ect. so dont be scared that u have to think god and that. just remeber you just have to respect other peoples views to ur own. it doesnt mean it cant work for u. take ur time aswell dont rush into anything until ur settled. it took me 7 weeks to make first step to become sober, and allso do not be bullied or anything in being sober.AA only suggests things and it says to be a member of AA is that u have a desire to be sober. take ur time in getting a sponser make sure ur ready to make that step and take on the 12 steps. 12 steps can be easy hard depending on how u make it. if u dont understand somthing just ask or see if there is a leaflet explaing things. also some books may give suggestions in what each of the steps mean.

this is my account since joining and the advice i got from some, be free in pming me if u need to know anything else. again this is my account of AA in where i live. to me it was friendly, none judgmental,open, honest. i was also given numbers in which i could phone if needing help. its been a great social outlook for me. been invited to dinners and all sorts.

i hope u make that next step hun, i hope also that u have good experience, but as one suggested keep going to diffrent meetings until u find the right one, but remeber also more meetings u go to, it helps more in ur recovery.

oh and how i got to my first meeting is that i had to have couple of drinks before hand lol but i dont suggest that. they didnt mind they understodd that i was anxious, and also i had been thinking about AA for months before hand and tried to find out as much as possible about it. but then when you get there it can be diffrent from what u thought. just keep open mind.

anyway ill stop there, hope i didnt bore u lol. good luck and again be free in pming about anything if u need help.

[AAthlete]

Question about AA

NCFrank, the only requirement to attend a closed meeting is 'a desire to stop drinking.' I questioned that my first time as well. Most likely if it is your first meeting they will pull you aside and have a group of members give you information on what the program is about, what they were like before they came into AA, what happened and what their lives are like now (experience, strength & hope).

As scary as the Duck tries to make it, it has worked for me and I wouldn't trade what I have learned and experienced for anything. The Duck is also correct that this is also a great program and a lot of us use a combination of the two to achieve a lasting sobriety and serenity in my life.