what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

[trixietrack]

I have a lot of friends like this, who think that people who are constantly obsessing about

being AF are just as bad as people who drink.

I had a conversation with a few friends about this subject. It seemed that the ones who had

issues with alcohol, were more anxious and worried all the time. others friends drink almost everyday some times in excess, often times not, but they also aren't

constantly talking about alcohol, alcohol is there and in their system, but isn't the center of the conversations.

my point is, I guess when you start thinking about your drinking is when you know that

there is an issue. but what if a person just doesn't think they need to stop? what if that is just the way they are?

[Not Happy Hour-Happy Life]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

Trixie~ by any chance, have you met my brother? He will be in the bar every night, get loaded every weekend.... but he'll be to work every morning, functioning, at 7 am. I have NO idea how he does it, and when you talk to him about his drinking, he admits that he's "probably" an alcoholic, but IF he is, he considers himself a "Functional Alcoholic". He has no intentions to stop drinking.

On the other side of the coin, I have an uncle that's an AA addict- and understandably so. He quit drinking 30 years ago, but he's still at AA almost every day, and being alcohol free is mentioned every time I talk to him.... it's like alcohol still has a grasp around his brain.

Where is that Happy Medium?

[disapprovingcat]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

no one likes a zealot

of any kind - the dieter, the ex smoker, the convert

it's BORING to listen to after the 3rd, 4th, 5th time

I view our stay here as somewhat different since a. most of us have not achieved our AF or Mod goals and b. we are only railing to each other about it - we're still taking baby steps


as for the people who are still working out their issues - that was us not long ago..30 days ago I was a functioning alcoholic but the little me who was whispering that it wasn't OK despite my "functioning" was getting louder and louder

I'm just glad I figured it out for myself- finally

[trixietrack]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

you know nhhl? I have a lot of friends like your brother. One of them is extremely intelligent, drinks like a fish but always has it together, more so than a lot of people I know who barely drink.

he is an amazing writer and is healthy and is not in denial, he has been drinking since he was a teenager, got a scholarships etc. studied at columbia university and is very good at what he does.

he is in his early 40's. and drinks almost every single day.

[Noelle]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

Trixie, when your friend gets to be in his early 50s, he won't be doing so well. I was still in good shape in my 40s. It's just recently, in the past 4 years or so, that things went downhill. Blackouts, slurring words, etc. I'm past the middle 50s and it wasn't pretty.

[hippie37]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

This is a very thought provoking question you ask trix!!! It's about time we had one of these threads again!!

For me personally I think the 'obsession' can become healthy if you wish to help others with the knowledge and experience one gains through getting and staying sober. I guess you could say I've become less worried about my own sobriety and now I look at the bigger global impact that drug and alcohol misuse has within today's society. I'm not obsessing anymore over my own alcoholism. I would say I'm learning and studying it's effects so I can hopefully help others and even maybe make a career out of it. God knows we are going to need more people with these kind of experiences looking at the state of play with alcohol today. (I'm sounding like some dodgy old geezer in AA trying to 13th Step a newcomer aren't I ???!!!!!)lol

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[trixietrack]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

Hi hippie I am in the same place as you. I guess I could consider myself one of the lucky ones who almost fell into the abyss, but caught myself.

noelle I have a few friends in Germany and California who are in their 60's and still drink, they are healthy, what I have noticed is that they have cut down a bit.

I wonder why some people are affected and some not.

[Shikakai]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

I was like that Trix... I knew I had a problem but it took a long time to finally look in the mirror and admit it.

I didn't want to stop; heck, did I ever stop? Oh yea, for 15 days following the accident, I stopped and then it was "business as usual". Sad...

Even with everything that's going on, I still want to drink... it's killing me, though. I have a lot more to lose than what the court is threatening me with... my life is at risk.

[Shikakai]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

Not Happy Hour-Happy Life;295470 wrote: Trixie~ by any chance, have you met my brother? He will be in the bar every night, get loaded every weekend.... but he'll be to work every morning, functioning, at 7 am. I have NO idea how he does it, and when you talk to him about his drinking, he admits that he's "probably" an alcoholic, but IF he is, he considers himself a "Functional Alcoholic". He has no intentions to stop drinking.

On the other side of the coin, I have an uncle that's an AA addict- and understandably so. He quit drinking 30 years ago, but he's still at AA almost every day, and being alcohol free is mentioned every time I talk to him.... it's like alcohol still has a grasp around his brain.

Where is that Happy Medium?

How old is your brother? Before I finally had to take a long stare in the mirror, I considered myself "functional" too... I was in my early 30s then...

And you all see where I'm at today at almost 40... denial is a motherf**ker! But we just keep going and going until we're dead; someone else is dead; locked up; multiple DUIs; skin rashes; overweight and downright crazy!

[Shikakai]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

trixietrack;295476 wrote: you know nhhl? I have a lot of friends like your brother. One of them is extremely intelligent, drinks like a fish but always has it together, more so than a lot of people I know who barely drink.

he is an amazing writer and is healthy and is not in denial, he has been drinking since he was a teenager, got a scholarships etc. studied at columbia university and is very good at what he does.

he is in his early 40's. and drinks almost every single day.

Wow! In his 40s? Hmmm...

Do you ladies think men hang on better to alcoholism than we do?

They don't seem to "fall apart" at least not as quickly as we do.

[Shikakai]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

Noelle;295498 wrote: Trixie, when your friend gets to be in his early 50s, he won't be doing so well. I was still in good shape in my 40s. It's just recently, in the past 4 years or so, that things went downhill. Blackouts, slurring words, etc. I'm past the middle 50s and it wasn't pretty.

What were you drinking, Noelle? My blackouts started about a year ago (38). I was the "queen" of vodka martinis... I didn't realize I was too much of a lightweight for such heavy liquor.

[tea]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

Yes it crept sneakily up on me, didn't have a problem (well i don't think I did) until my mid/late 30's.

Lxx

[Shikakai]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

tea;295609 wrote: Yes it crept sneakily up on me, didn't have a problem (well i don't think I did) until my mid/late 30's.

Lxx

Same thing here and it's only gotten PROGRESSIVELY WORSE, as promised

[trixietrack]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

I think that alcohol damages women more so than men. I do notice that women tend to get hit harder by hangovers and anxiety caused by alcohol.

The few people I know (men) who drink almost everyday and don't seem to have serious problems are in their 40's and 50's.

I think some people's bodies are more resilient than others.

iis this genetic?
attitude?
diet?
preoccupation with "should I stop?" is this healthy or unhealthy?

[Prest4time]

what if someone just doesn't want to stop drinking??

This whole topic is very interesting to me. I too from what I have observed from the women here and those I've observed personally, do not seem to hold it together on average the way men do. There are exceptions to everything, but obviously women are physically weaker and more fragile, so I think poison of any kind will hit harder on a weaker vessel. (Understand I'm only talking about physically weaker...) Also, I think most women here agree (we've had threads about this in the past) that our hormones are like dumping gasoline on the fire. We are not steady Eddie all month!

It is odd I think that some people seem to drink on a daily, or almost daily basis and yet function as if they were drinking water. For me personally, I felt pretty invincible in my twenties and even early thirties. Now I feel and see the effects of my body beginning to age, and I worry about every little thing and wonder if alcohol has somehow played a part.