I never wanted to quit drinking myself. I always had an excuse or a reason why I should carry on drinking. It wasn't always negative either. I loved partying and being the centre of attention and for me to give that up meant giving up who I was. I also thought I was too old and stuck in my ways (even at 37 years old!!) to make such 'radical' changes at this time in my life. What I realise now is that I was stuck in negative thinking and the alcohol only enhanced those thoughts and ideas I had of myself. My view of the world had always been a negative one as I always see so many injustices and things I don't like happening in the world. It started when I was in my late teens when I became a part of an underground scene here in the UK that believed in many new age concepts and ideas and went against the norm. A lot of which then extended into the Rave culture of today. I was angry and bitter at the world for a long time until recently when after Xmas I realised that the world doesn't revolve around me. Changing things I didn't like could only come with first changing my whole perception of 'where I fit in' in all this. Changing my way of thinking has not been easy but once I have the foundations in place I can use that to change things gradually about myself. I've been having problems recently regarding my health and weight and instead of looking at it as "Shit I need to lose weight!" I look at it more as "I need to eat more healthily". It has a far more positive outlook I think. Likewise with my drinking I don't look at what I'm missing out on NOT drinking anymore I start to look at the benefits of not drinking. Eventually those benefits will far outweigh the loss of any 'image' I had of myself as the life and soul of a party. And, in time, I do feel ME the true person will emerge from all this and move forward.
Have a great week-end all and be positive!!
Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx
Have a great week-end all and be positive!!
Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx
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