Alcohol and Addiction

[aquamarine]

I wanted to ask a question of everyone who would like to respond because I just wonder what others have experienced as far this subject. When learning about alcohol its use and abuse, I guess probably before you started drinking, or when you first started drinking were you made aware of the fact that it is an addictive substance like nicotine or heroin or anything that you think of as potentially addictive. My experiance was that it was never presented to to me that chronic drinking would actually make you completely
physically dependent. I learned you had to be careful, that it wasn't good for you, not to drink and drive but I was definately not told to be very careful with it because it could change your brain chemistry and make you "addicted". I remember thinking that I hope the continual drinking wasn't damaging my brain but the concept of addiction didn't enter my mind. When I was in my 20s I started smoking for a few months. I knew I was getting dependent on them and the message of nicotine addiction was so hammered in my brain that I stopped because I knew I was getting addicted and I knew if I kept it up I might not be able to stop. But with alcohol that never crossed my mind. I just thought I'd stop when I wanted to not understanding that it was addictive as anything else. I think if I knew this I would have been way more careful when I was younger but it never crossed my mind. Of course now I understand way more about the whole process and I have to say I have been very suprised at how ignorant I really was. When they make ads warning about alcohol why don't they make that message loud and clear that if you keep drinking you can become addicted. It seems like you just don't hear the word alcohol and addiction together
very often. Maybe because it is such a socially acceptable thing to do . What are your oughts and experience with this. Thanks! Aquamarine

[4theboyz]

Alcohol and Addiction

What an interesting question!! So obvious in it's simplicity yet I don't think I could answer it the same way twice - too many variables at play.

My first response would be you don't really know until you try to quit or stop. Oh oh!! That shit's addicting - I can't stop!!!

It's all part of the human condition or a by product of our own"conditioning"growing up.
We are taught to succeed at all we do. We work hard our whole lives to do good, we never set out to fail at anything - I think!

So when we do, it can be a colossal disappointment and an experience we are not fully prepared to deal with. Just like our relationships. What is our first reaction when we broke up with someone. "You suck, I can't believe I wasted (X months/years) of my life with you!! I *Hate* you - *Die die die*....Oh I didn't really *mean that*...I love you please come back...If you take me back I'll be good...I'll love if you love me - pleeeeease..."

Then we hate our selves for that experience and many times desperately wish that person back because we are afraid of being on our own. Even though the relationship itself many times is destructive and an obvious negative influence on our lives we have to deal with the consequences of our own support and involvement in that relationship. We participated in that relationship of our own free will so there is no one else to blame but ourselves and to do that is no fun at all. It really really sucks.

I see how substance abuse can easily be identified as a "substitute" for that love or sense of well being we long for that we perceive is missing in our lives. Drugs and alcohol do an amazing job of making us feel good about ourselves for the moment and then becomes our new significant other.

As they say - breaking up is so hard to do!!

[hippie37]

Alcohol and Addiction

A very poignant post for me 4theboyz concerning relationships.!!!lol

Aquamarine I will post later on this as it is a very thought provoking question and I have to leave for my CBT course in 10 mins. Not nearly enough time to post my thoughts on the subect. A very good question though and thoughtful post. I like these threads that make me think!!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Cinders]

Alcohol and Addiction

Aquamarine,

When I first started drinking, there was very little discussion or understanding about how addictive drinking is. Which is odd because if you go back in my family tree you find a few who weren't heavy drinkers.

What was discussed was how horrible an alcoholic was. One of my uncles was so bad that my mama used to have to go into the bars at 13 years old, grab the poker money off the table (payday money he was losing while he had a family to feed) and grab him by his ear and take him out. He was later put into a hospital for 6 weeks, run by Catholics, even though he was a Baptist, and never drank again. He went to AA for the rest of his life but he was a happy man after that. Very happy.

The thought then was that it was all the alcoholic's fault. No one considered it to be the alcohol itself. Allen Carr basically says that anyone who drinks is being sucked into the pitcher plant (a fly catching plant that slowly lures its victims in until they cannot escape) and for some the trap happens quickly and for others the trap happens very slowly.

I think we all know that today the FDA would not approve the making or distribution of alcohol. It would not pass any of their tests. :H

What I can speak of, though, is my first experiences with alcohol and why I have been a drinker since I could drink. The first time I drank was a glass of Harvey's Bristol Cream. It tasted like a dessert and made me feel better than I have EVER felt in my life. The very serious and insecure Cindi suddenly felt relaxed and good about herself.

This is what I have to work on while I take the Antabuse and Gabapentin or I will most certainly be doomed to falling back into the abyss.

I am in my 50s, btw, went to college when I was 16 and have been drinking ever since then. My drinking to blackouts and large quantities did not pick up until after gastric bypass 3 years ago, but I have always come home from school or work and drank at least 2 and usually 3 glasses of wine. After my gp surgery, it increased to 2-3 bottles of wine or 2 bottles of vodka a day. I eventually was getting to the point where if I was awake and not at work, I was drinking, be it when I first woke up, went to lunch, after work, or in the midde of the night when I woke up.

Cindi

[Ripple]

Alcohol and Addiction

still an addict.

yes i was addicted. i used alcohol to relax...simple. always did my work first and did it very well with pride. addicted to work, had to do the best job, perfectionist so to speak, do above and beyond only to reward myself with a good bottle of wine. everything became addictive, the high from sales grew, the money, the attention and the need for more wine, glamorous ones too. so tired i still find me wrapped up in the things i do? :target:

[4theboyz]

Alcohol and Addiction

Nothing does a more effective job of shutting off the noises in our skulls than drugs and alcohol. Who in their "right minds" would *dare* turn that off??!! *That's* addicting!!!

("So sorry Mr. Boyz, we have to take away your Vodka and turn the noises back on...")

[Beck]

Alcohol and Addiction

Good question,

For me, I knew from my father that if I drank I could become an alcoholic. It is all over the family genes. Understand that to his great credit my father has never had one sip of AL. He spent too many years taking care of his abusive father. When my grandfather was sober - he would tell my Dad never to drink and my Dad took that lesson to heart.

What I didn't know is what an alcoholic actually is. I thought it was like "Otis" on the Andy Griffith show - or like my grandfather (whom I never met) a very violent drunk. I didn't know that an alcoholic can have a career, money, spouse, children and seem to hold it all togehter...for a time at least.
So when I began slipping into AL dependency I was very functional and did not believe I was dependent, just thought I made bad AL choices - had bad habits. I didn't recognize my own alcholism until it had spun way out of control. Drinking to excess every time I drank - which was nearly every day.

What I want my childen to learn is that drinking at an early age and binge drinking is a precurser to Alcoholism. This is something I did not know. I had my first beer at 13 - hated the tasted - loved the effects. I was bingeing by the time I was 16 - I went AF for 6 months in high school. Being a 16 year old female drinking to blackout is truly dangerous business. I was lucky nothing bad happened and smart enough to regain some control.

Beck

[LVT25]

Alcohol and Addiction

Thanks Aqua for the interesting and thought provoking thread.
It caught my attention because I have 2 young boys. The 13 year old has been through a class in school, that helps them with judgement, peer pressure, etc concerning such issues as drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, etc. They had to give a little speech about their commitments and the majority of them were not going to drink until they were 21. Most said they were NEVER going to smoke, do drugs or have sex until they were married. My kids have grown up around alcohol, and honestly they think it is a normal way of life and look forward to when they can drink. I know this is our fault, and society. I've explained to them how hard it is to quit smoking, so never start, but I've never said much about the drinking because I guess I don't want them to know what a bad parent I really am.
As I look back, my mom's dad was an alcoholic--she did not like to talk about it. I wonder if she did, if it would have changed me in any way. I started drinking in high school. I was also told by my ex husband's alcohol couselor that I had an addictive personality and I should be careful--of course I had to test that theory. Anyway, I think I'll reconsider discussing the alcohol with my children.

[aquamarine]

Alcohol and Addiction

One of the things that has really helped me in making some serious progress has been
trying to grasp how I let "this" happen to me. As you mentioned 4TheBoyz that colossal disapointment of failing so badly at something was really almost too much for me to deal with, or I had no clue how to deal with it. In the beginning I found it excrutiatingly difficult to not drink, real white knuckle determination which would inevitabley fail. But coming to the realization that there was alot more going on with me than just lack of control helped a great deal. It helps me to try to understand the why and how of how a usually responsible, really disciplined person like myself could let this spiral out of control. I have kids in middle school and high school and I desperately want them to learn from my experiance . I don't want them to be as ignorant as I was ( although unaware of it) and unexpectedly go down the the same path. Instead of being predisposed and "higher risk" of having an alcohol problem I want them to be the opposite because I have taught them the right things. I want to give them the message that yes you have ultimate control what will happen to you no matter what your predispositions are . If you don't expose yourself you will not have a problem.Don't underestimate the danger because it is real and many people don't understand that. I guess I just want to give them the message that I clearly did not get. It was noones fault , I just didn't get it. Thanks for all your responses, they are all wonderful. Aquamarine

[trixietrack]

Alcohol and Addiction

I think self esteem has a lot to do with why some people abuse alcohol and drugs.

[FloridaBoy]

Alcohol and Addiction

Aqua wrote:

"When they make ads warning about alcohol why don't they make that message loud and clear that if you keep drinking you can become addicted. It seems like you just don't hear the word alcohol and addiction together very often. Maybe because it is such a socially acceptable thing to do. What are your thoughts and experience with this. "

It is socially acceptable and heavily taxed. It is also big business and when there is a lot of money at stake no one wants to shine a light on the potential problems.

[maasai]

Alcohol and Addiction

thanks for this mind challenging thread aqua, to me everyone is well aware of the effects of using alcohol even before the first drink ever comes to our mind,since one must have seen the urgly, bad and horrible things people who drink go through or do, but its funny since before anyone starts drinking the feeling of being into a good mood, being of another class of peole and making ourself happy always overshadows the risk we are putting ourselves by drinking.
i am from a community which alcohol is the center of everything, as in nothing can be done without alcohol, marriage, circumcision, prayers, and offering sacrifices, all this go with alcohol. basically everything which brings people come together there must be alcohol.
we know nothing about addiction or alcoholism, but when you get into really seriouse problems due to drinking or when your family comes to the dead end like my family they say that you are "curse". to us when alcohol brings you down to your knees they believe its a curse.
this continuity of lack of that awareness has kept people drinking generation after generation and its still going on. but we know the effects of alcohol but its part and is given a central role to play in our society.
i do wish i knew that alcoholism is a disease i could have helped my father or i could have not hated my father the way i did, just until 2yrs ago i learned myself that there is something called alcoholism.

[Cinders]

Alcohol and Addiction

Maasai,

What a poignant post!! Learning not to hate your father because now you know it is a disease!! :l:l

Letting go of hate and anger is a huge step in making your life much better!!

Love you,
Cindi

[CatsnDogs]

Alcohol and Addiction

Aquamarine, what an interesting question. I was never told about alcohol and addiction. It always seemed to be presented as a moral shortcoming on the part of the person with the addiction.

Notice all the alcohol advertising tells us "to drink responsibly" "don't abuse alcohol"? It's not their fault you got addicted...

Alcohol is an addictive substance. Allen Carr's metaphor is perfect. Combine his book with RJ's work and Joan Mathews Larson book 'Seven Weeks to Sobriety', and you get the full picture. I have yet to read "Under the Influence" -- I have heard it is very good.

[trixietrack]

Alcohol and Addiction

alcohol abuse leads to addiction which leads to disease.
People make the choice of opening the bottle and drinking it's contents.
I think that we should educate young people on how easily one could turn a habit into an awful addiction.

my mother and late father are both allergic to alcohol. so I did not grow up around drunks or people drinking. I did hear a lot of stories about drunks and people who lost their lives by drinking too much.


the thing that makes alcohol different from other substances is that some people get addicted or abuse it and some don't. it is not like heroin or other opiates which are very addictive.