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[Laurav]

Overall I am a very open person. Everyone says that I am an open book but deep down I keep some thoughts to myself.
Anyway....we live in a tight knit neighborhood and get together with 4+ families on a regualr basis, go camping every year, etc.
I would not call any one of them my best friend but we all get along well.
Tonight is a party at one of their houses. Some drink more than others but nobody gets too out of control. I am know to drink alot but have never been fall-down drunk. I really do not want to tell them that I am no longer drinking. Stupid I know. I have been coming up with different lines to say when someone offers me a drink. I think I am going to go with a simple 'no thanks' or 'maybe later on' line.
My hubby (the never-than-2-drinks-drinker) says that I should not care. I know he is right. I wish that I was not so insecure.
What do you do?

PS: I am on day six. No worries as I am not even in the mood to drink nor feel tempted.

[Noelle]

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Let's see.....the "no thanks and myabe later" sounds really good. Or is there a way you can get something else to drink yourself? Maybe you could say, "I'm not drinking for a while?" Although when you're around people who drink, they sometimes get a little defensive when they "know" you aren't drinking. Good luck! Oh, and you never know, they may not notice as much as you think!

[Shikakai]

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If you don't mind a little white lie, tell them that you're taking a medication right now and you can't drink... if they are rude enough to ask what it is or what it is for say, "female-related." That should shut them up.

Good luck

[Palatia]

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Maybe you could just kiddingly say... "I'm the designated driver ".. even though you're probably walking over...

[Laurav]

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Good one Shikakai! The 'female' thing.
Noelle, you hit the nail on the head. Some people at the party are the kind that I think would get defensive based on past experiences, or maybe I am just selling them short.
I do plan on keeping a beverage in my hand so there is no need to offer.
It would not be the first time I have overthough something!

[tlrgs]

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hi there..laura..i like the designated driver .but really dont worry about it to much . like you said you will have a drink in your hand at all times .so just go with that.and enjoy yourself dont drink.
this is your missionif you dicide you want it this tape will selfdetruck in 10 second.goodluck

[Shikakai]

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Laurav;300456 wrote: Good one Shikakai! The 'female' thing.
Noelle, you hit the nail on the head. Some people at the party are the kind that I think would get defensive based on past experiences, or maybe I am just selling them short.
I do plan on keeping a beverage in my hand so there is no need to offer.
It would not be the first time I have overthough something!

That's a good idea. Keep a drink in your possession at all times... maybe one that looks like what your normally imbibe...

After reading what happened with Pooh last night, it seems people are not that comfortable with others who don't drink, especially if they EXPECT you to drink.

[AMELIA]

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I would take some tonic/soda and some lime wedges (looks like Gin and Tonic).
Best of luck, I know how awkward it can feel.
x

[Sunbeam]

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I am alwways comfortable with "No thanks, my stomach is a little off tonight". No one ever questions that - maybe they don't want to risk cleaning up a mess...

[Shikakai]

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Sunbeam;300492 wrote: I am alwways comfortable with "No thanks, my stomach is a little off tonight". No one ever questions that - maybe they don't want to risk cleaning up a mess...

Haha! Good one, Sun!

Or say you overdid it the night before so you're taking a break

You all have a nice day.

[Laurav]

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Thank you everyone.
I am feeling better. This morning I was so weepy, kind of feeling like I am in mourning.
I really do not feel like drinking - amen. Maybe things are different this time or it could be a new med I am on. I am my third week into Lamictal. it is a anti-seizure med like Topa. I have been taking meds for anxiety for many years but over the past year or two I have been on a roller coaster of anxiety and depression. My Dr. thinks that a mood stabilizer will better help me.

.

[Ask For Help]

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Hi Laurav:
Just a quick thought to add to the good advice you've already gotten: If you say "no thanks" I probably wouldn't add "maybe later". That invites the idea in the person who offers that s/he should check in later, but also could introduce the idea in YOUR head (or at least it would in MY head) that maybe later a drink is possible.

I know you say you're not worried or interested in drinking . . . I just think AL is sneaky, and that statement could open the door to some lobbying on his part.

Have a fun AF evening!

AFH

[Thankful]

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Good advice all. And I completely agree with Ask for Help. AL is tricky, don't give it any reason to think it can trip you up!

If you get together often they are going to learn that you are not drinking eventually, so let it be. A simple "No thanks" should surfice. If asked "why".....just say "not feeling up to it tonight". Just relax and have a good time tonight. You might find you stressed more than you needed to. Deep breaths.

Stay focused and be very proud of yourself! Have fun!

Love, Me
:l

[KateH1]

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Laura, I agree with Thankful. No thanks, but I'll take a coke or whatever should suffice. If you get pressured, I would just say, I am not drinking tonight.

I really do not think lying is a good idea. They will learn, after a while that you are not drinking, and lying to them now, will only cause problems later on.