I fell... BUT I learned something

[Palatia]

Well I fell last night.. on Day 7...

Maybe it was that my son left at around 10pm.. and I'd been craving all evening.. He is the self-appointed alcohol police now lol.. He came back for a few after I'd cracked a few.. saw 2 cans on the desk.. pointed, mouth dropped... MOM! what are you doing? I can throw that crap away.. you know I will... (lol).

I did learn something though, because I remained cognizant of what I was experiencing..

I drank less than half of what I was drinking before AF.

First beer... took a sip to see what it tasted like... hmm, tasted more like it did when I first had beer... not great. Felt a mild buzz immediately. Immediately thought... OMG, those little blessings will go away if I start in on this again... !!

Second beer... realizing I'm getting buzzed, much quicker than before AF, (even after only 7 days).

Trying to play euchre online... did okay, but realized I don't think Nearly as well.

Realized that... I really liked being lucid and able to think...I fell.. but I can get back up. Went to bed at precisely 8 hrs before I had to get up this morning.. I remained in control.. amazingly. I've toyed with the mod drinking idea.. but I'd rather just be AF.

I'm not going to lose count. Today will just be Day 7 again.

Thanks for listening and putting up with that, but I had to admit what happened... and share that, for me, it just wasn't 'it' for me, the AL.

[barebones]

I fell... BUT I learned something

glad u learnt somthing out of it, good luck on day 7.

take care, keep sharing.

[Thankful]

I fell... BUT I learned something

As long as you learned a vaulable lesson, then maybe it was worth it. Now you know and no longer have to wonder.

Someone on this site (sorry not sure who) once said it's 50 times easier to be AF then to try and mod. It's so true, because once you make the commitment to be AF there's no thinking about the "when and where" can I drink again. That's not to say everyone needs to be AF as some here mod successfully. It's just that most can't and go through hell and back before they figure that out.

Good luck. Stay strong!

Love, Me
:l

[Noelle]

I fell... BUT I learned something

That's okay Pal.....we still love you. :H

[Dolly Sunshine]

I fell... BUT I learned something

You'll be great!!

[tlrgs]

I fell... BUT I learned something

good job for admiting that you would rather be af then go back to the old you. and isnt it nice to have a loving son that want you to be af.good luck and god bless you and your family

[meditation mama]

I fell... BUT I learned something

We have all fell, but I agree with Thankful. If you plan to remain AF, then the best course of action for the brain is to not let that "doubt/maybe" thought live in your mind. it is SO much easier to just say I don't drink. All the times I tried before I always had in the back of my mind the "maybe one day", and then the "one day" always came.

It is so important to look at these times and learn. Very proud of you for that.

And coming here and telling us what happend shows you want to keep going. Good for you!

MM