I messed up again

[Reenie]

I messed up again

You all have made me feel so much better and to look at my slip in a whole other light. From here on in, I'll focus on the "good" and my time spent sober. I'm also going to print out all of your replies and save them in a folder so that I can read them time and time again. Thank you!

[meditation mama]

I messed up again

I just love this place. Reading your first post then on through to your last post - where else could we get this support. I am really touched... I really don't have much to add at this point except to say that I am very proud of you for coming straight here today and stopping where you did. That means that you are changing your habits, your mind and yourself. I am sure everyone is VERY proud of you. A relapse is often times a time to relfect on something we have missed in our sobriety. I am not saying they are necassary, but if it happens, we MUST look deeper that we have to that date - we have to TRY and find all the reason we slipped up. Picking up after one night and getting right back to business is certain progress.

Be kind to yourself, sweetie. You have a lot of AF days to be proud of.. no one can take those away from you.

Namaste, my friend.

MM

[bestlifeldms]

I messed up again

Rennie,

Let's twist the way you think about your sobriety a little! You have been Alcohol Free for close to 8 mos. with the exception of twice. PERIOD!!! That does not make you a failure, it makes you a tremendous success!!! How many of us can say we have only drank twice in the past 8 mos? Very few. Go back to your 1st day of AF and count the days. Let's say 8 X 30 days = 240 - 2= 238. You have been AF for 238 days!!! (Example) Then, go forward from here! It's that simple. :goodjob:

If asked by your Dad how you are doing with your drinking, say, (sincerely) "Tremendously well! I have been alcohol free 238 out of the last 240 days, and look forward to it only getting better! Gee, Dad, (Kiss & Hug) Thanks so much for asking!" and then move on in the conversation.

Don't YOU focus on yourself as a failure, and sure as heck, don't let anyone else! You are doing great! With the goal to do even better!

Keep it up!

:h Best

[Reenie]

I messed up again

What a great way to measure my success! Thank you for helping me look at it another way! Ahh.... I also like the way in which you suggested I approach my father. I'm really going try to focus on the positive from here on in. Thank you for the super great advice!

[KateH1]

I messed up again

Hi Reenie,
You sound so heartbroken over this. But, as everyone has mentioned, the hangover makes us feel so hopeless and helpless. You did not fail, you succeeded for nearly 8 months! That is something to be very proud and happy about. You, know, for us, alcohol is a sneaky devil. Some of us can, drink just one or two for a short while................but in the end, we over do it. But our minds are tricky, just like when you told your friend that you could stop with just one. We all get in those situations, we must stay firm and resist! I have printed MM's post called, The Committee. In my opinion, that says it all!

Reenie, I know you will get back on track......do not discount all your progress....remember, you are way farther ahead than you were 10 months ago.

Sending you comfort and strength,
XXX Kate

[lucky 2.0]

I messed up again

Reenie,

I still have tons of respect for you! Continued success.

xoxo

[wonderworld]

I messed up again

Reenie!!! I TOTALLY get what you meant about making your biggest fear come true with your Dad coming to town. Somehow I know just what you mean. It's like the anxiety of will I? / won't I? (drink) and the feelings about relapsing building up, and the internal stress and pressure bulding up, and then, at some point, you just DRINK to shut it off and force a conclusion or something. I don't know. It's like crash landing because you don't know any other way to touch down just then. And though I'm 45, being around my family of origin can trigger OLD (and not so great) feelings in ME. Especially when I'm down and vulnerable, if you know what I mean.

I also know that after each time I have picked up since I got here to MWO, my sobriety has become more 'my own' somehow. Like I understand more how and why I really want to be AF FOR ME, you know? And it's getting easier and more relaxed as a result, no matter the day count. I've had much longer term sobriety where I did not feel as happy as I do now.

And such great feedback and advice on this thread - I can certainly use it for myself too! This place really is amazing. The healing goes all around :h.

I think you're awesome! Have a good night -

Love WW xx

[july232007]

I messed up again

Reenie,

Life undulates at times. You, as your posts show are getting a proper perspective on this. Your months of sobriety did not vanish, they are not tarnished. If anything, I suspect they are to be savored more. So go ahead and build some more.

Complicated relationships are not easy to navigate as you struggle with an AF life foundation. Just give yourself plenty of room, let your husband know you understand his frustration but that making him angry was never your intention. It, the drinking, after all was not about him. And, now continue on your AF days for you.

Take care,
July