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**barebones** · April 4, 2008, 01:36 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

pala good for u in starting to organise ur house, as u know that being sober makes us more aware of what is around us. i still havent muscled up the motivation to tackle my house, at the moment im trying to work on myself. which im into health and fitness. in time i will start on the house.

thanks for giving us a positive note.

good luck on u next lot of days, and ur goals.

**jinja** · April 4, 2008, 03:47 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Hi P & B, well done!! I know what you mean - my house is an entire "to do" list!!

I'm day 9 and am scared shitless at the mo. The thing staring me in the face (that I have been numbing down & not wanting to address) is that my marriage isn't alive anymore!! We've done the councelling thing etc.... & now I can see that there is nothing left. I want to cry & have a drink so I can hide from all the awful decisions I know I'm going to have to make. I won't drink though as this has been one of the many things that I need to face. My heart is beating so fast, & I'm looking around the house like a stranger.

Sorry to jump into your thread P. Yes, there are signs of life..... I can feel them.....but it's alittle overwhelming and scary!!! I will just keep going slowly, ODAT & feel my way.

Take care
xxxx

**Captnjack** · April 4, 2008, 05:17 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Hi P
Im a male I think, I can understand the male mess thing. I hate it . I Know what you and the other women mean. Its a mummy thing with us blokes . We have no idea.? Help us to understand 1) personal Hygine
2) the concept of cleaning 3) Cleaning up little boy bits ie putting our toys and rubbish away!!!!!. I believe us boys are in need of the mum thing big time. Basically we need to grow up!!!!!!!
Day 12 p way to go I love reading your posts

All the best Cap

**Cinders** · April 4, 2008, 05:27 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Palatia,

My hubby always says he can tell a drinker by the condition of their car and house. He says we have no time for any normal activities because everything outside of drinking is secondary.

I, too, am looking around the house on day 18 and starting to figure out how to organize it and get it clean.

Jinja, while I have a wonderful marriage to a man who has tolerated some unbelievable behavior from a drunken wife, I also know about the dealing with things. However, I am kind of at the "look forward" to dealing with the anxiety and issues head on rather than hiding from them with the booze. Let's do that together, shall we? Perhaps we can make things better rather than bury our heads in the sand? and those things we can't? We just accept.

Cap'n Jack,

My hubby is a much better house keeper than me!! I think it is all in how we were raised, etc.

Cindi
XVIII

**Captnjack** · April 4, 2008, 05:45 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

I agree cindi . It is how we are raised !!!!

My dad was such a neat and tidy person my partner and daughter go crazy with dads (me) constant ADJUSTING pillows, place mats washing things that dont need to be washed??? I think I got that Jack Nicholson film thing " Is this as good as it gets"??? LOL

By the way cindi your XVIII courage beating this thing is so inspiring I hang on your every post you are amazing and a wonderful person

All the best Cap.

**Palatia** · April 4, 2008, 09:25 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Captnjack;304095 wrote: Hi P
Im a male I think, I can understand the male mess thing. I hate it . I Know what you and the other women mean. Its a mummy thing with us blokes . We have no idea.? Help us to understand 1) personal Hygine
2) the concept of cleaning 3) Cleaning up little boy bits ie putting our toys and rubbish away!!!!!. I believe us boys are in need of the mum thing big time. Basically we need to grow up!!!!!!!
Day 12 p way to go I love reading your posts

All the best Cap

hehe.. well my son is the 'messy' kind.. and not because of how he was raised :P

He got some knives for Xmas and loves... cutting up paper, cardboard, packaging.. anything that's messy I think. I looked around 'his' chair and said... Son, I think you owe me a vacuuming...

But who am I to talk.. I have Years of catching up to do on my own crap ... lol.

**Palatia** · April 4, 2008, 09:27 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

cindi;304097 wrote: Palatia,

My hubby always says he can tell a drinker by the condition of their car and house. He says we have no time for any normal activities because everything outside of drinking is secondary.

I would have to agree... looking at my own 'stuff'.. car, house etc..

I didn't plan on cleaning out last night, it just kind of happened since my son had the comp :P But man, does it feel good this morning.

**Palatia** · April 4, 2008, 09:29 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

jinja;304087 wrote: Hi P & B, well done!! I know what you mean - my house is an entire "to do" list!!

I'm day 9 and am scared shitless at the mo. The thing staring me in the face (that I have been numbing down & not wanting to address) is that my marriage isn't alive anymore!! We've done the councelling thing etc.... & now I can see that there is nothing left. I want to cry & have a drink so I can hide from all the awful decisions I know I'm going to have to make. I won't drink though as this has been one of the many things that I need to face. My heart is beating so fast, & I'm looking around the house like a stranger.

Sorry to jump into your thread P. Yes, there are signs of life..... I can feel them.....but it's alittle overwhelming and scary!!! I will just keep going slowly, ODAT & feel my way.

Take care
xxxx

I'm sorry to hear that jinja..

I know how difficult it is to wake up and smell the 'coffee'.. Your marriage and any decisions you make will be an opportunity... for personal growth, for renewed perceptions of yourself and your life, for understanding your worth..

Hang in there... and post here!!

**KateH1** · April 4, 2008, 09:48 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Hi Palatia,
So happy to hear that you continue to do well! In beginning to live a sober life, we do clear out the rubbish in so many ways. Those things that keep us feeling burried and hopeless. In Feng Shui, it is called "clearing". It really does lighten the load that we feel we have been carrying around!

Jinja,
This is kind of how this board works. One person begins a conversation and it triggers thoughts in others and we just add in what those thoughts are and how they relate. Remember, new thoughts, feelings and yes, anxieties are part of our lives when we get sober. Especially during the early parts of it. For the first time in a very long time, we are not self medicating and life is becoming more "real". But, you don't need to figure out everything, fix everything today. Not even tomorrow. Your answers will come in time. Tackle the most basic issues, first, like cleaning, clearing, etc. And, stay sober! You will figure everything out with more time sober! Best wishes to you!

Kate

**Captnjack** · April 4, 2008, 10:00 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Kate you are amazing.
Jinja listen to her observations kate is right
Stay sober sums it up

love cap

**Breez** · April 4, 2008, 10:01 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

When I drank-(I was a binge drinker) the week I'd decide to drink the house would go to hell. Looked like a hurricane went thru it. Mail would pile up because I had no time to read it, floors became dirty because I became this "free spirit" allowing the kids to walk around with shoes, laundry piled up because i just didn't feel like doing it.

Long and short of it-my daily lifestyle stopped when I drank. After I snapped out of it I had twice the amount of clean up I normally did.

Tackle something small each day. That's what I now do with huge projects that I've put off for yrs. I spend at least 15 minutes in the study which was once a study but somehow has manage to become a storage area-LOL. Now that it's spring I want to get that room all organized. But to tackle it all at once-no thanks. Like my sobriety-one day at a time.

**myra** · April 4, 2008, 01:07 PM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Jinja

You have gotten some really good comments from these folks. I'm in the same boat and realize that drinking it away was not going to take it away. Hard but I would rather face it sober than smashed.
Hang in there.

Myra

**jinja** · April 7, 2008, 10:02 AM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Hi everyone - thanks for all the advice and encouragement!!

Baby steps, as they say. Hubby & I chatted over the weekend and it was OK. Not as scary as I thought (still bloody hectic though!!) - my mind was planning 5 miles up the street rather than looking at the next step!! I just want to remain strong and true to my needs, everything else with follow.

Take care
xxx

:thanks:

**Palatia** · April 7, 2008, 07:12 PM

Day 12. More signs of life...

Good to hear Jinja!!! Yes I think we do get the cart before the horse sometimes... prob with AL or not.. lol.

Whatever happens is meant to be, as they say...

I'm trying to think that during this damned job search.. :P ..

I hope it works out though...

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