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    Remembering my father

    Today is such a nice sunny day here in NYC. since coming back from Colombia, my sisters and mom are trying to work out some legal stuff with the property that we have on the Island.
    All sorts of legal stuff, paperwork etc.

    My sister had mailed me a bunch of papers that we need to change the land from my mom's name to ours, so we can build a house, anyway I opened the envelope, and in it was a copy of my father's death certificate, I had never seen it. He died in February 2004.

    For some reason seeing the paper with his name and the date and time of his death, made me have this intense feeling that he truly is gone. Some part of me for the last 4 years is imagining that maybe he just went away,but would come back.

    That piece of paper represents thee reality that I was denying myself. It is truly sad, to think, oh God, he is gone, he is gone and I miss him.:l:l I need a hug.:upset:
    You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

    #2
    Remembering my father

    Trixie,

    Sending hugs. It can be overwhelming when we lost a loved one and years later something happens that floods it all back. I know the feeling well. :l

    Perhaps you could do something positive today in remembrance of your father? A special token of thanks for having known him?

    Take care.

    Love,
    Cindi
    XIX
    AF April 9, 2016

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      #3
      Remembering my father

      My Grandmother died on 9/11/2001...not at the Trade Center but from cancer. I still think she did it on purpose so she could do it quietly. I miss her every day. She was the one person in my life who loved me unconditionaly evry year I binged in Sept and excused it for that. I know where you are at Trix and I send lots of love your way.

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        #4
        Remembering my father

        Trix, sending virtual hugs over cyberspace .......:l:l:l:l
        sigpicXXX

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          #5
          Remembering my father

          thank you all. yes cindi I think I might go by the sea. my father loved the ocean. thanks for the hugs guys.
          You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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            #6
            Remembering my father

            a cousin of mine died in 9/11 he was the janitor of one of the buildings
            it was hard for us all

            i wish everyone well

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              #7
              Remembering my father

              I know what you are going through Trixie and just wanted to send a hug.
              I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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                #8
                Remembering my father

                coming your way

                Oh sweetie - HUGE HUG -

                Liv
                AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                (from the Movie "Once")

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                  #9
                  Remembering my father

                  Trixie

                  I so understand how you are feeling. I was just thinking of my mother who died 3 years ago this coming June, when I logged on here. Comes out of the blue sometimes and always manages to knock me down, albeit temporarily. I'm planning a big party for June; she loved socialising and meeting people, so she'd approve.

                  Hope it was refreshing and good by the ocean. Tough old business, losing those we love.I still can't dwell on thinking of her for too long at a time, still too painful. As in painful to rekindle the pain surrounding my close involvement with her during her final illness, difficult death and then coping with the searing sadness attached to loss.

                  In order for me to live my own life as best I can, I have had to let her go. She was my best friend. Tears in my eyes, but that's okay, she deserves to be missed. She would not like me to cry or be upset, but she would expect to be remembered!

                  Here's a hug from London, Trix, please say hi to NY for me, I love the place and am going back there in the Autumn. My kind of town!


                  Anna:l:h
                  IS MILIS FION,ACH IS SEARBH A IOC
                  Wine is sweet, but paying for it is bitter

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                    #10
                    Remembering my father

                    HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HUG HYG HUG HUG HUG!!!!!!!!!!:l:l:l:l!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
                    :lRebecca

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                      #11
                      Remembering my father

                      And more hugs........
                      :lRebecca

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                        #12
                        Remembering my father

                        After my parents died a year apart... I felt like an orphan. It's normal to just not be ready for it... even years later and looking at a document that is so final. My heart goes out to you. Have a good cry. and know that you are loved.
                        JB
                        Sunny Out Looks are Contagious!

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                          #13
                          Remembering my father

                          My father passed away in 2005. I understand.:l
                          sigpic

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                            #14
                            Remembering my father

                            I am still coming to terms with my dad's death last June....I understand.

                            I can be having a "good" day but then this incredible wave of grief can just come from nowhere.....but I'm getting there..... I know he's right by my side. Sending you all my love and a great big HUG!! Janicexxx
                            AF since 9 May 2012
                            Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

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                              #15
                              Remembering my father

                              I send you hugs too Trixietrack. We will always miss our dads. Sometimes I will have a dream about mine, and I truly feel it is a kind of visit, a way for him to visit and say hey. But yes to see it on the certificate, laid out there in facts, would be hard. :l
                              The more we appreciate life, the more life appreciates and bestows us with more goodness.

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