Help and advice Please

[Aysha]

:upset: Have been reading and done a couple of posts over the past month. Ordered the supps and have recieved them, read the book, and have made plans, which have all failed. Still don't seem able to make that first step. I want to desperately, spent the majority of this evening crying. Boyfriend asked if I had been drinkng (we previously split up because I did) I denied it despite the bottle and a half of wine I had consumed earlier.

Help Help help ... How do I take those first steps. For me (at least at this stage because i haven't detoxed enough for it to be a physical craving) it is a mental thing. AL wakes me every morning and sits on my shoulder all day. Please help - any advise to get past the liquor isle in the supermarket, the liquor store greatly appreciated.

Tips on stating day 1 please please please. I am getting desperate.

[charlee]

Help and advice Please

Aysha
After joining MWO, I read and read. I did cut back on my drinking, but could not seem to take that first step. I was scared... scared to stop, scared not to have it in the house, scared not to have it in my body. All I thought about was booze 24/7..I played every game imaginable to try and control/moderate my drinking, thinking if I could just get a handle on it I could then stop. I always ended up back to square one. A wise member told me to I was just torturing myself.....basically I should shit or get off the pot. Those words have stuck with me to this day.
When I was truly ready to commit (knowing the physical and mental challenges that were ahead), I got rid of my stash and took a deep breath. I kept thinking to myself "What is the worse than can happen"?....A few sleepless nights, the shakes, the usual withdrawl sypmtoms.....All that came true and the first few days were rough and getting thru that witching hour was a challenge. I take it one day at a time, making no promises for tomorrow. There is no magic bullet, and sometimes the journey can seem slow, but it is so worth it. I no longer have AL on my shoulder all day. If you truly are ready, willing to make that committment and do the work..........hope this helps...Good luck on your journey.

[Cinders]

Help and advice Please

Aysha,

I, too, echo Charlee's words. I stopped and started many times. Each time was more and more painful and each lapse took me further and further into the abyss.

One day, I woke up after a horrible binge and had breakfast with hubby. As my hands shook so badly I could barely get the coffee to my mouth, my head was pounding, my heart was thumping so loudly I could hear every beat. Hubby had brought my youngest grandchild over to stay with us the night before and I didn't remember one thing about being with her. She was sitting next to him, smiling and happy and looking at me with such love in her eyes.

I looked into my hubby's eyes, said "get me to the hospital into detox." He got up, paid the bill, and drove me to the hospital. All the while I was holding Li'l Bit's hand. They both stayed with me while the hospital did their tests and sent in the psyche to consult with me and make a decision to put me in.

I begged and pleaded and asked that they let me start Antabuse before I even left.

I got through detox comfortably thanks to the hospital. I took my first Antabuse before walking out the door because I was so afraid I would walk to the nearest bar for "one last" drink as soon as I got out.

I have been sober since. I pop that Antabuse every morning and smile. I thank God every day for a husband who has stuck with me despite some horrible episodes and I thank God many times a day for this short time sober and every sober day to come.

Hope this story helps you.

Love,
Cindi
XXV

[tlrgs]

Help and advice Please

hi there..aysha.first you are making your step now by writing that you need help .which is great now all you have to think about is to leave the al alone walk away from it. ask yourself question after question why do you really need it and you know you dont need it . you say you are losing you bf and why because the al .if you want to change you have to look deep within yourself and stop denialing it .
do what you know you have to do before al takes everythings from you .try going to a AA meeting what ever it takes to help yourself . you can do this and yeah its hard but you are the only one that can really make the change for yourself ..peace and god bless

[Breez]

Help and advice Please

It is a flying leap. I love what Cindi wrote because what you need to do is everything you can in the beginning. Stay away from the grocery store-have someone else go for you or go with your b-friend and say "don't let me get anything". Make plans to just stay home. If you have to go out-change your route. You can do it.

Charlee is right. You need to commit. I went into this with mind, body & soul. I did not ever want to go back. Don't look at the whole picture but just tackle one day at a time (for some it's one hour at a time). The more AF days you get the stronger you will become.

Nothing will change unless you change it.

I wish you success...good luck.

[me145]

Help and advice Please

Hey girl, i have the same problem.. bf hates it.. hes actually an alcoholic as well though. drinks everyday, just doesnt get nasty at times when hes drunk, and rarely gets shitfaced like i was getting every weekend. right now im on antabuse, look into it..

its so oooo friggin hard. what did ur bf hate most about ur drinking? my bf hates it bc i tend t oget nasty if im REAL drunk. biut we have problems in our relationship, and i tend to say what im thinking, or we fight more bc i cant hold it IN if im drunk. we fight when im sober constantly as well.

[Palatia]

Help and advice Please

That first day is soooo hard. I found that after I made a commitment in here... that that was Day 1... it helped. I had to think.. it's just for tonight. It's just for tonight. I stayed in here... found something else to drink.. *dare I say herbal teas* ... anyting that's goood for you..

Stay in the forum if you can at night... I practically lived here lol..
I still do almost.. lol.

It is hard.. but once you get past Day 1, you realize it's not so bad.... by thinking It's just for tonight, you realize that every day that can work.. just for today... That's about all we can handle at a time.. especially at first.

[livingfree]

Help and advice Please

All good advise above - My "day 1" - I spent most of the day with someone that wasn't a drinker. By evening - I watched the clock because I couldn't wait until bedtime. I think I went to bed at 9:30

I just knew I HAD to get through that 1st day. Plus I was actually comforted by the fact that I knew I wouldn't go into "withdrawal" yet - as it takes more that 24 hours to get it out of the system! But it was the "habit" that first day

Go for it
Liv

[Thankful]

Help and advice Please

QUOTE BY ~ CHARLEE

A wise member told me to I was just torturing myself.....basically I should shit or get off the pot. Those words have stuck with me to this day.
When I was truly ready to commit (knowing the physical and mental challenges that were ahead), I got rid of my stash and took a deep breath. I kept thinking to myself "What is the worse than can happen"?....A few sleepless nights, the shakes, the usual withdrawl sypmtoms.....All that came true and the first few days were rough and getting thru that witching hour was a challenge. I take it one day at a time, making no promises for tomorrow. There is no magic bullet, and sometimes the journey can seem slow, but it is so worth it. I no longer have AL on my shoulder all day. If you truly are ready, willing to make that committment and do the work..........hope this helps...Good luck on your journey.

Aysha ~ I couldn't agree more. You have to make the commitment. And then you have to follow through. We know it's hard. But there is no magic pill. This program supplies a lot of tools, but it can not supply the will.

I also agree with spending as much time as possible on this website in the first week or so. Just reading people's success and even their sorrows helps to motivate you to not drink. ODAT.

Please give it try. You won't be sorry.

Best of luck to you.

Love, Me
:l

PS Cindi ~ you post brought me to tears. You are a true inspiration.

[Aysha]

Help and advice Please

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I am halfway through day 1 (it is only midday here). Had to go out and to the shop, yes, automatically put a bottle in the basket after much deliberation, but hey one last day, eh? If I keep it in moderation it will be ok! I can start day 1 tomorrow, why start on a Friday, why not wait until after the weekend? All the normal arguements going on inside my head, all the normal justifications. Got almost to the check out when a voice hidden somewhere shouted 'NO'. Quickly took the bottle out of the basket and left it on the nearest shelf before sprinting to the checkouts before I changed my mind, and the demons inside started talking back.

Home, but shakey at the close call. Have to go out again later today, am hoping I still have that voice inside saying no, I really want to get to the end of today. Need to get into bed without touching a drop.

Charlee - I love your words of advise "shit or get off the pot" have been saying it over and over all morning. Think it helped when I was in the shop. THANKS.

[lucky 2.0]

Help and advice Please

Don't psych yourself out. It is as hard as you choose to make it.

Good luck!

[Thankful]

Help and advice Please

Great job talking yourself out of it!! That's exactly how it gets done. One day at a time.

Keep it up. Good luck!

Love, Me
:l