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    #1

    re-evaluating things.

    I've been finding it difficult to get back into posting and sharing of late and it is making me think of the age old question that has been brought up many times in the past on the forum "When does one stop obsessing about their drinking problem?". The humanitarian in me wants to help others by sharing my experiences and yet I feel I have reached a point where continually going over the same old ground is not helping me move forwards. If I didn't know any better I would feel there is some kind of collective consciousness happening right now and many are feeling this or have felt this and moved on; Starlight and trixie being examples. I took a week off from the forum myself recently and went camping as like many I needed a break and time to re-evaluate my own path and something has definitely changed within me. I've always had a healthy obsession I would say in the past with my drinking as I have a more than a keen interest in psychology and social issues that one day I hope to put to good use.

    Anyway I just wanted to post how I was feeling today as I also see tlgrs maybe feeling the need for a break too (hopefully nothing more serious!!) and It really got me thinking this morning about how I was finding things myself.

    Have a great day/evening all

    Love and Happiness
    Hippie
    xx
    "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
    Clean and sober 25th January 2009
    Tags: None
    #2
    re-evaluating things.

    Hi Hippie - Yep - something changed with me too - not the same compulsion to be here as I had earlier - now mainly here because I don't want to lose touch with everyone.

    Strange thing is - I feel kind of guilty about it!

    Perhaps it is a function of the changes going on in our brains after a while AF - but you are right - seems there is a lot of it about right now.

    Take care

    Satori
    "Though there are many paths at the foot of the mountain - all those who reach the top see the same moon - as any fule kno"

    Comment

      #3
      re-evaluating things.

      Hippie,

      If you are concerned about spending too much time here and dwelling in one place, I totally understand.

      I am lucky in that my work allows me to be on the computer most of the day (or makes me, depends on how my day is going!!) and so wandering around the forums is not a difficult thing for me to do.

      But, YOUR sobriety is your #1 priority. You know this, just as I know mine is. Do whatever you must do to guard it jealously and continue growing.

      Lots of the old timers just check in from time to time. They have expanded their lives and spending a lot of time here is not conducive to that.

      Please know, though, that your presence here has been a Godsend in MY life. Your posts and your journey have been a beacon to many of us. I thank you for that, I thank you for your kindess and sharing.

      Whatever you need to do, do it and know you always have a family of friends here who will be glad to hear from you when you want to and welcome you with open arms and hearts.

      I am sending you warm wishes and for a joyous life wherever you may be!!

      Love,
      Cind
      XXIX
      AF April 9, 2016

      Comment

        #4
        re-evaluating things.

        Hi Hippie,

        You have articulated very well how I have been feeling lately. I believe it is a natural progression for many of us-- to find this place (MWO), to flourish on it, to both get and give help, in a symbiotic, sometimes obsessive-compulsive way, and then to move on to a more normal life, more focussed on the everyday priorities, less obsessed...

        But what I think is incredible and so very special about MWO here, is that so many "veterans" keep coming back. Sometimes they come in spurts, other times they are just lurking and jump in when they have some valuable input. I hope to be one of those soon. But now I feel I am in an advanced but difficult phase that requires my focussing inwards, and therefore less time for this forum.

        One thing is for certain, I could never have made it to where I am without all the people here--- past and present, veterans and newbies... I have learned so incredibly much and shared experiences and found help when desperate, and felt good when I could help others. So I'm not leaving. But I'm just focussing in a different way.

        I also feel like a lot of people here have become my personal friends, and I don't want to lose touch. I have no desire to fade away... I think I'll stick around for a long long while. Just in a different way, with a different level of intensity.

        Make any sense?

        Anyway, I hope you stick around, too, Hippie, even if at a different level of intensisty. The same goes for all of you who are moving on. There are too many to name. But you know who you are. I hope you are all still "out there." I am.
        Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life... And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

        Steve Jobs, Stanford Commencement Adress, 2005

        Comment

          #5
          re-evaluating things.

          I have no desire or compulsion to leave the forum completely but I think, beatle you have explained my situation exactly. I definitely have a more serene approach and as you rightly put it the intensity I once had has shifted to other areas in my life that need that focus more. But, as Satori put it, with that comes a certain amount of apathy towards the newcomer and it kind of goes against what I believe in. That's were the problem arises and a certain amount of guilt is bound to ensue. It may be self centered of me to think I make any kind of difference to other peoples lives but putting other's first is something I have always tried to do, even when I was drinking. And we all know what kind of self centered bastards we are when we are drunk.

          Anyway thanks for your responses and your kind words Cindi I hope things are going well for you on the Antabuse.

          Love and Happiness
          Hippie
          xx
          "Keep me away from the wisdom which does not cry, the philosophy which does not laugh and the greatness which does not bow before children." Kahlil Gibran
          Clean and sober 25th January 2009

          Comment

            #6
            re-evaluating things.

            ~

            well said hippe..don't you have baby liver to look forward to? you speak for the majority here. too much time thinking and discussing sobriety issues can be toxic, it has at times affected me greatly. Therefore a break is so dearly needed to keep on track with the first most important goal...for me is to continue MY sobriety. Although it can be hard to determine when people come here if they are truly concerned about sobriety topics. It is easy to read between straight lines what the intent is for some. Sharing experience is good, I find most of the information here as valuable. Certainly has filled a void for me during times i would otherwise be pouring wine down my stomach and doing stupid things.. I greatly enjoy stupidity still as its the simplest things in life that make me piss the best. my re-evaluation is...if your happy and you know it clap your hands. :thanks:

            Comment

              #7
              re-evaluating things.

              Hi Hippie – I was wondering just that the other day. Not that I am in anyway ready to be independent of this forum, only just started after all. But, does there come a point when ‘you’ don’t think about ‘it’ (AL, life with, life without etc) on a daily basis and ‘you’ can move on.

              I just wanted to say – in case you suddenly disappeared and I lost my opportunity!! Thank you so much for your thoughts, ideas and attitude to life. Personally, it has helped enormously, and I will forever be grateful for your contribution into my life. I wish you love and happiness in everything you do!!!

              And I hope to still see you on the boards, if not on a regular basis!!!

              Take care
              Xxx
              The mind is in its own place, and in itself
              Can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.

              John Milton

              Comment

                #8
                re-evaluating things.

                Hi Hippie!

                Just thought I would reply to this one.....About a year ago I was posting like mad and it helped me and I hope others. This is a journey and I have now got to the point where I lurk more than post....I have gone through many stages...healthy and un-healthy! But I too sometimes feel guilty for no longer feeling like I'm being there for others on this site...It is such a great site-MWO and there have been so many people who have helped me and I don't think I will ever leave. ! But for now, I check in often, have a read and generally just touch base.

                For me, going over old ground is not good for me...I get to the point where I'm going in circles...I wonder if that makes sense to anyone...

                take care Hippie, you are a special person and so bright.

                Bella xxx

                Comment

                  #9
                  re-evaluating things.

                  Hippie, I can see that after one is here awhile you start to feel a responsibility. I still need to read, and share and help if I can.....but I spend WAY too much time here. Something I've noticed though, and I'm finding it hard to put in words...the new ones evolve...there's always some seniors that pop in and help with the hard stuff...and some evolve enough to leave, which is great, really. I know this doesn't make sense, but if you leave, or cut back, I just wanted to thank you, and to tell you I love your quote.
                  _______________
                  NF since June 1, 2008
                  AF since September 28, 2008
                  DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                  _____________
                  :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                  5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                  _______________
                  The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                  Comment

                    #10
                    re-evaluating things.

                    hippie37;310171 wrote: "When does one stop obsessing about their drinking problem?". The humanitarian in me wants to help others by sharing my experiences and yet I feel I have reached a point where continually going over the same old ground is not helping me move forwards.
                    Hippie
                    xx

                    thoughts I have already had myself .......



                    and Beatle quote ..... "You have articulated very well how I have been feeling lately. I believe it is a natural progression for many of us-- to find this place (MWO), to flourish on it, to both get and give help, in a symbiotic, sometimes obsessive-compulsive way, and then to move on to a more normal life, more focussed on the everyday priorities, less obsessed..."



                    First ... to both of you - I am smiling so big right now - because to even POST this helps me in this journey.                     I have been worried that I am going to spend the rest of my life obsessing and posting away here. Not that I want to leave - but with a worry of "my new addiction". To see that your lives are moving OUTSIDE of this place of counsel and group therapy gives me HOPE! I agree with everything you both said. But with that said ... just to see Satori                     drop in a line - I feel like the Freshman in High School seeing an "upper classmen" who just graduated - but is stopping back in to pop us all along side the head with a "Hi Kid". So no matter where you move to in these thoughts - I think it is so important to drop in and just say HI! Your posts and journey have impacted me over the past 4 months in BIG and Small ways.

                    So to all the Seniors - I appreciate even these "thoughts" and "posts" and it helps prepare me for my future and journey.

                    I love you guys so - and Hippie - we want to follow progress with the baby Hippie!

                    Liv
                    AF since Jan. 1, 2008 .... It all began right here


                    Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you made it now.


                    (from the Movie "Once")

                    Comment

                      #11
                      re-evaluating things.

                      I totally understand that hippie... Sometimes dealing more with life in general is needed really.

                      I only posted once yesterday and this is the first today. Mainly because I spent time with family... and babysat my 6 month old granddaughter all day today.. and my Windows crashed hard last night so I spent some time today installing my software again ... etc etc etc..

                      Yes, it was nice to not be obsessed with AL.. or the lack of it.. I would also like to thank you for all of your insights... You are an asset here... but don't feel guilty about doing what You need to do... We should all do that...
                      P.S. You can't love if you don't love yourself... :heart:

                      As you wander through life, sister/brother, whatever be your goal, keep your eye upon the donut, and not upon the hole.
                      - Sign in the Mayflower Coffee Shop, Chicago

                      Comment

                        #12
                        re-evaluating things.

                        Hippie,

                        I too understand the progressions here at MWO. Ebb and flow or detachment? There is a natural rythym I think, if we pay attention to an AF life.

                        I'll look forward to your contributions, perhaps more sporadically.

                        July

                        Comment

                          #13
                          re-evaluating things.

                          Hippie, I have wondered myself about the concept/reality of bringing forth that which we focus on.
                          If one spends a lot of time here (like I do) does it perpetuate the reality of a mindset and beingness of alcoholic? We manifest that which we think about.

                          That said - I can't imagine cutting off from the relationships I've made here.
                          FINALLY -- I'm a non-drinker!!

                          Comment

                            #14
                            re-evaluating things.

                            this site also helps me NOT be obsessed with AL. Can't give it up. There are also enough threads that don't focus on alcohol or the obsession of stopping/starting.

                            Comment

                              #15
                              re-evaluating things.

                              None of you should feel guilty at all - the fact that you can reach that point of being ready to move on is a huge inspiration in itself. I hope to get there. If all the oldies were still here then the programme wouldnt be working. Although its brilliant to see them check in every now with good news or to come back if they need more help. It is basically like a circle of life the new ones who start out in sheer desperation become the regulars and they in turn support the newly desperate ones and so on with the "old" ones able to move on. You have all given major inspiration to me so thanks.
                              BH

                              Comment

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