thought of the day by roger

[tlrgs]

good bye . what does it mean . one hell of a great title. last night got me thinking and how easy it would be if i said good bye to this life that i have made for myself .being af what does it mean . to able to have what. a loving family again .a life of a clear head .is it so easy to forget .what brought us here in the first place. i guess so. why is it . because as soon we we feel the time is right and we think more about making people around us feel conforable and go back to drinking not thinking about what really brought us here . we start to say. god it feel so good to be able to drink with my friends again . now i dont have to worry about if they think i have a drinking problem . now i can drink with them and join in as one of the crowd. just so they dont think am shy or i have a problem. or i want to help myself and better myself .keep my kids.the man or women i love and i said i would make a big change for them .really who are we doing it for . we say drinking makes us feel so much better. but in fact it hides the real you. the one that people look up.the one that your man or woman fell in love with. why do we have that need to be one of the crowd.is it still after a long time we have to try to fit in.

well these are just things i think about and i would love to have all the answers to but i dont think that will ever happen. as for me . i am just going to keep on going the way i have been going. af and living free

good luck to all and god bless

[Guest]

thought of the day by roger

Sound like a good plan to me, you go girl.....

[Guest]

thought of the day by roger

or is it guy??

[Bandit]

thought of the day by roger

Hi tlrgs,
I know when I first started drinking I was about 17 and had just left school. It was almost like a rite of passage, something you were expected to do and made you grown up and 'cool'. In Ireland especially there is such a drink culture, most of our social activities revolve around it and it is so hard to avoid.
Once I started I found that drink helped me cope with my cronic shyness - I find it fine to deal with people in a work setting but bring that into a social setting and I just find it impossible to think of what to say or keep a conversation going. Some people take this the wrong way - they think it's arrogance or coldness or that you just do not want to talk to them. Drink helped me with that and made me lose my inhibitions but I always drank too much and in doing so I lost myself and the all the good things about me.
An old boyfriend once said to me that I was a lovely person but that drink just did not suit me and that I became a different person who was not aware of what they were doing- now I know he was right - some people can handle it but I don't think it is for me and more and more lately I think it will have to be an AF life for me and not moderation - so now when I think of having 'just one glass of wine' I think of this and all the stupid and dangerous things I have done and what the consequences could be.
Best Wishes and Congrats on your days AF,
Bandit

[Ripple]

thought of the day by roger

goodbye...sleeping all day.

goodbye to life being a total mess. leave it behind and be happy now. only you know what you did, the past is gone..the new present is here. make it good.

[hippie37]

thought of the day by roger

The answer to your question "who are we doing this for?" is simple in my eyes. When I first gave up drink I was doing it for everybody else BUT me. Now I know I am doing this for me and me alone. There's no two ways about it. If I was doing this for anybody else I would feel I was depriving myself of things unnecessarily and therefore feel hard done by. This was the case about 10 years ago and I started drinking again after 6 months being sober. I don't want to feel like I'm living a lie by being 'forced' to do something against my wishes.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Cinders]

thought of the day by roger

tlrgs,

Go back to the madess and insanity? Go back to not knowing what I was doing and where I was doing it?

Go back to what? Hell???

No thanks!! I'll keep doing what I am doing. I will always know that my life sober is my gift to myself. Sobriety has allowed me to get my dignity back, my happiness back, my self respect back and joy.

Like you, tlrgs, I will keep doing what I am doing, staying af and loving every second of it.

Love,
Cindi
XXIX

[livingfree]

thought of the day by roger

T. - so is your real name Roger? Anyway -- all the reasons you stopped drinking would come rushing back to your mind if you ever decided to give up. So I am glad today you are LIVING FREE!!!!

Livingfree :l

[Determinator]

thought of the day by roger

Tlrgs, interesting stuff indeed. The beast (spokesperson for our middle brain) will point out things like: you are a wierdo for not drinking...your friends are noticing you not drinking etc. etc. but I'm glad to see you are not falling for it man! of course it would be a relief for a tiny amount of time until the "bad old times" start to crash down on us again.
i think one thing that might help you/me/us is to forgive ourselves for our issues. we tend to be really down on ourselves but to be honest we wouldn't wish this "problem" on our worst enemies and we sure as hell didn't do it to ourselves consciously.
catch you in chat bro

[Croft]

thought of the day by roger

Good for you tlrgs for staying with your current plan of action. Sounds like it works great for you!!!!

[FallenAngel]

thought of the day by roger

Thank you for sharing your thoughts

As both of us are past the 6 month mark, I think we really start to look at our quits in a different light. As the saying goes.... "the novelty of the quit is gone, yet the quiet battle rages on"..... is so true for many of us.

I noticed that once I reached the 6 month mark, my attitude on my sobriety really started to change..it started to change because I had changed. Living sober for that many months & dealing with life without any crutch or mask, has changed who I am.

The first months I felt like I was going through the motions... I was not drinking, but I really didn't feel like I was a non-drinker...I was merely a drinker not drinking at that point.
As the months progressed, a new "me" started emerging... one that was more confident & determined... one that started to see the truth of what my addiction had done to me...what it had robbed me of for so many years, and how I no longer needed or wanted that in my life.

Yes, there are days when I could easily go back to my old ways... but I won't.
I know in my heart that this is the path that I must stay on. Momentary lapses of the importance of my sobriety will appear now & then, but I must always stay vigilant & remember that the gratification of the moment is not worth the price of a lifetime commitment for a better life.

Hugs to you my friend :l

[Determinatrix]

thought of the day by roger

tlrgs - your words ring true on so many things.

In the beginning, Det tried to get sober because that would make me happy. All it did was make him mad at me and made me his cop. It just did not work. Anytime I would take a trip without him I would return home to him being really sick. "The cat is away, the mice will play." I began to not like my role in the dance.

I remember him stating he felt socially awkward. The strange thing is he is more awkward when he is overdrinking, even anti-social. All of his charm and wit get buried, just like you stated. Det and I were just talking the other night about how he used to state that he drank to fight his demons. I asked him where his demons were now that he is not drinking; how is he coping with them? He surprised himself and said I guess the alcohol brought the demons closer and kept them close.

Congrats on discovering that you are worth it. Not just for your loved ones because you love them so much and feel they deserve it; but because you know that you deserve it.

Dx