Hurting Others

[Accountable for Me]

Hurting Others

hart - I would like to say that everyone on this board is co-dependent. If it isn't with a spouse, it is their relationship with alcohol.

Chin up honey. Vent your ass off when ever you wish to.

I know on a thread or two of mine, I have had some negative responses (when John was alive and I was completely frustrated and when I posted about it).

BUT... in actuallity, I think I didn't want to hear, what I really needed to hear... you know?

Life is tough and will throw you challenges from time to time. My suggestion is to take it one day at a time. Try not to worry about tomorrow, only for today.

[myra]

Hurting Others

So, codependency is one of those terms that makes me want to go screaming down the hall. If used correctly, it is very useful. The problem with it is that there are so many widely accepted definitions, so many misunderstandings about the term. Had to quit using the word both professionally and personally. Sorry - had to go off on that little tangent.

The bottom line is that we all come to this site initially because we are struggling with booze in addition to many other things. Some days are worse than others, some situations are worse than others. some of the things I put up with in my life would be intolerable to you and vice versa. WE all put up with something.

This is when I like the AA saying of "Take what you like and leave the rest".

Love to all of you and thanks for listening!

Myra

[Accountable for Me]

Hurting Others

I like that Myra! "Take what you like and leave the rest".

.... and who cares what co-dependency really means, anyway. Maybe I should of just said 'dependent'. Would that have worked better? Man, back to English 101 I f'n go AGAIN!

[Captnjack]

Hurting Others

Im sorry hart

none of my business probably projecting my own life shit story on you, sorry.

[Suzanna]

Hurting Others

Please stay, Hart, I'm sorry too if I added to your distress. Like Myra said, we all put up with something! I would really love it if this could remain a safe place for us to vent.

[Guest]

Hurting Others

Hart, take it easy. I know when I was drinking I was all over the place - and I mean days I didn't drink too. Alcohol affects you for days afterwards and when you are fighting the stuff your head can be a mess.

My partner was talking to my Dad the other day and told him I was a "pain in the bum" when I was drinking. He did tell me that before I stopped but I thought it was ok so long as I avoided him when I was drunk. Thing is I was a complete stress head and swung from one extreme to the other. It felt awful - it's still there sometimes but without AL to feed it it's much better to handle.

So just accept it - big thing acceptance and really makes a difference.

[prisca]

Hurting Others

Hart! you should not take notice of that shit from KH. We need you here, this forum will suffer a lot,if we allow unconstructive views of men like that to upset us here. Why is he here?

Prisca

[beatle]

Hurting Others

I haven't been keeping up with what's happening here... but Hart, you are great-- GREAT-- and please don't get offended by anyone who might have insulted you. We love you and just don't forget that. Really. I mean it.(but no hugs, sorry)

[Palatia]

Hurting Others

Hart... We all should feel Very open to communicate whatever we need to..

I also got a nasty message from a person here... and frankly... I'm still angry about it!! I'm not posting as much... just know you're not the only one... and maybe Roberta should know about these kinds of messages...

Please don't go... we have every right to communicate here as much as anyone... it's equal ground and territory...

[livingfree]

Hurting Others

For what it's worth ...

Hey all - this is not so much to Hart as it is to "message to self" ... and all of us on MWO:

Kate posted this on the board which was not like PMing somebody a private scold. I think this should be an acceptable form of communication. After all -- we are all a group of past or present drinkers. If we all just share "like mind" - none of us will gain anything from anyone else. We all need some hugs now and then - but we all need an opposing view now and then if we are ever going to grow, mature and heal.

So I say hats off to Kate for having the courage to speak up. I say to hart - you can handle it babe! We all can handle it more than what we think! Sometimes we just flat out need someone to say it!!

Lets buck up and get past this beast which makes us to extreeme on either side!!

Liv

[SCOTTIE]

Hurting Others

........................

[livingfree]

Hurting Others

Hi Scottie! Welcome! Not following your comment ... but welcome to our crazy family where we might chew on each other once in awhile - but dare let someone from the outside and we gather like Mama Bears!!

Liv

[SKendall]

Hurting Others

Hart, you have been one of the most emotionally supportive member to everyone on this site. You are loved by many. Please stick around because you help all. There are some who are in a completely different phase of their recovery which is amazing, but this site is all about the struggle and how we support each other.

I think it is great for some who have slain the beast, but that doesn't give them permission to psycho-babble others who are still struggling.

Hang in there my friend.

Hilary

[maasai]

Hurting Others

hart, look how far can you go to be sober, remember what you told me ones you pm me and i realised something, we use to do what alcohol wanted us to do, and now with your very sober brain, your brightening future and your lovely family which you can now really appreciate it, since you are sober QUESTION" will you risk your sobriety just becouse of someone commend?" how sure are you that whowever that is,is fighting and running away from his/her own problem and blaming them on you,
come on hart!! am sure in your brain its telling you NO NO NO! am 100% sure about that. what are you going to do?, I BETTER DIE RATHER THAN LOOSING MY SOBRITY, OR RISKING SUCH AN OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS TO KEEP MY LIFE AND THE PEOPLE I LOVE.
dont you go anywhere hart!!!!!!!!

[Palatia]

Hurting Others

For me personally... as a newbie... Kate really sent me back...

AFter having gotten something in PM from her... I'm sorry... that WAS NOT helpful. It is not the opposing view.. it is HURTFUL...

yes, sometimes we need an opposing view.. but in a loving, caring way. Just being nasty.. is not that! I have not been as enthusiastic about being here since.. but there are so many nice ppl here.. Kate is the exception....

I wish we could do something about that.. because she will ruin many ppl's sobriety...and when you get that on top of other real life issues we are dealing with.. along with wanting sobriety... I say that sucks....It is NOT HELPFUL! I got a Pm from her.. go back and look thru messages in this forum from me.... I posted what it did to me.

livingfree;311689 wrote: Hey all - this is not so much to Hart as it is to "message to self" ... and all of us on MWO:

Kate posted this on the board which was not like PMing somebody a private scold. I think this should be an acceptable form of communication. After all -- we are all a group of past or present drinkers. If we all just share "like mind" - none of us will gain anything from anyone else. We all need some hugs now and then - but we all need an opposing view now and then if we are ever going to grow, mature and heal.

So I say hats off to Kate for having the courage to speak up. I say to hart - you can handle it babe! We all can handle it more than what we think! Sometimes we just flat out need someone to say it!!

Lets buck up and get past this beast which makes us to extreeme on either side!!

Liv