hey guys. ive been a month af. YEAH! feeling mostly good, except i am mildly depressed. sometimes better than other times, but i definitely know i need to be on an antidepressant, just dont want to go there right now as i know all the side effects and problems with them plus lost about five pounds, and dont want to regain it! i know most of the ssris cause weight gain. ive done this af period with antabuse, couldnt have done the first two weeks without it. i plan on doing this for another three weeks, then going back to drinking once or twice a week. avoiding bringing it in the house if i can. so my obsession with alcohol is almost gone. this past weekend, and even the one before this, i didnt think, "ah shit its friday, sux everyone else is going out clubbing and bars and i cant". the feeling subsides after the alcohol leaves your system. ive heard itt akes about three weeks. life isnt perfect, and i still crave it like the other night when out at tdinner on the water. i have to admit, i was dying for some wine. but anyway, i feel less depressed, less needy, more positive, less whiny, physically better, etc.
i wanted to comment on how strange it is how people really are different tyeps of alcoholics. my bf just moved to an apartment with his male buddies. ive been here every weekend for a few days, and noticed how my bf 's friend is just like my bf. worse than my bf though. he keeps a slight buzz, or maybe more at times, the whole day. just goes about his day drinking slowly. then wakes up, and does the same. my bf does the same thing, but he usually starts drinking later in the day than this fellow. my bf doesnt have an alcoholic family like me. no one in his family is really an alcoholic. me on the other hand, ill go out once or twice a week, and wont drink everyday. but when i go out, i blackout often, get stumbly drunk often, do embarassing things, get real nasty drunk at times. these two guys, who drink everyday, all day, rarely get like that. very interesting.
hope everyones doing well. life is hard. one big journey of things to deal with. im graduating college ( at 26 ) in tw oweeks, so i didnt do it on purpose, but being af at the end of this semester is really what i needed to do!
be well
i wanted to comment on how strange it is how people really are different tyeps of alcoholics. my bf just moved to an apartment with his male buddies. ive been here every weekend for a few days, and noticed how my bf 's friend is just like my bf. worse than my bf though. he keeps a slight buzz, or maybe more at times, the whole day. just goes about his day drinking slowly. then wakes up, and does the same. my bf does the same thing, but he usually starts drinking later in the day than this fellow. my bf doesnt have an alcoholic family like me. no one in his family is really an alcoholic. me on the other hand, ill go out once or twice a week, and wont drink everyday. but when i go out, i blackout often, get stumbly drunk often, do embarassing things, get real nasty drunk at times. these two guys, who drink everyday, all day, rarely get like that. very interesting.
hope everyones doing well. life is hard. one big journey of things to deal with. im graduating college ( at 26 ) in tw oweeks, so i didnt do it on purpose, but being af at the end of this semester is really what i needed to do!
be well
?We are one another's angels? 
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