Well, I just noticed this is post 2,000!! Almost one year on from going AF...
And I wanted it to be a positive one so am going to say a huge thank you to RJ, MWO and all of you - my lovely friends....
2008 is sure turning out to be different to 2007! This time last year I was just getting into my utterly stupid month of drinking that led me to a terrifying Monday morning detox, fear like I had never known, going AF and then a stint at AA that frightened me even more!!!
And then I came here in July. And things got better and better.
I came as Finding My Feet - a more-than-apt-name that leapt out at me as I registered as quick as my fingers would type in my keeness to get gonig with what I had stumbled over on the internet in my desperation to find something other than AA.
I found my Feet alright and went on to Finding MY Self - and the learning goes on and on and on and on and it's wonderful! I have been in 'self-discovery' and 'self-awareness' for 26 years as my work and I have not discovered so much in all those years as I have since being with all your wonderful belief and support, encouragement and understanding. Quality not quantity obviously!
Now I think I am beginning the Finding of My Soul....an awesome, humbling experience if ever there was one! That I dare even type the very words is testament of just how much my self-esteem has improved. My self-belief and my courage. Boy, it falters endlessly but it IS there and it is amazing.
And it is here that has helped me find it.
I haven't been around too much since my mother's death in February (the changes in my life have been too fast to keep up with!!) but the support I received from here then was incredible - I don't think I could have done it without you all. Even not being able to log on - just knowing you were all out there, for me and for each one of us - that swirling energy of belief and encouragement for each of us, round and round...SUCH an incredible energy! Bet it's visible from space!!!
And now I choose to be here. I know that, on the whole (!!!!) I can cope, but I want to be part of this incredible energy.
As I did some bits in my garden this morning in the sun I was thinking about how far I have come from last April - and how much I missed by being wrapped around a bottle all day....it's hard to remember it now! (Ok, Ok! A sort of denial but so what?! Why dig up old stuff just to feel guilty so I wont!!)
11 months on, 26th May was my day one - I now can do what I dreamed was possible for me.....enjoy a white wine spritzer of an evening...just the one. And not want any more. (Red wine = ugh! Memories and so be it, I say with gratitude!) I am blessed in a way I know so many are not but I do include this paragraph as it was what helped me way back then; the AA one drink and you've failed approach almost drove me to drink! (Although I will stand by the need to be AF for at least the 106 days I was for ever and I have to thank AA in its way.) Seeing that mods was a possibility to some here was a great boost. But following so many's wonderful yet heart-wrenching stories found me in a place where I felt we could all find...well, fancy!!! Our Own Way Out!!!
Thanks RJ for this incredible site and thanks to you all my lovely friends (and those who have moved on now too). I think of you so much - thanks for being part of my life.
Never, never, never, never, NEVER give up on yourself - anyone. You ARE in there just waiting to come out and SHINE!!!
Blessings
Finding My Self's Soul. XXXX
(Please, please, please hang in for the 100 days AF if you intend to try modding....I would so hate for this post to knock anyone off track. Alcohol will remain a disaster to lots of people for ever. Sorry. That's just the way it is. Hugs)
Edit - just realised it was six months I did AF before modding - dunno where I got the 106 days! Important to say I think because maybe that made the difference...? Go for six months, not just 100 days!)
And I wanted it to be a positive one so am going to say a huge thank you to RJ, MWO and all of you - my lovely friends....
2008 is sure turning out to be different to 2007! This time last year I was just getting into my utterly stupid month of drinking that led me to a terrifying Monday morning detox, fear like I had never known, going AF and then a stint at AA that frightened me even more!!!
And then I came here in July. And things got better and better.
I came as Finding My Feet - a more-than-apt-name that leapt out at me as I registered as quick as my fingers would type in my keeness to get gonig with what I had stumbled over on the internet in my desperation to find something other than AA.
I found my Feet alright and went on to Finding MY Self - and the learning goes on and on and on and on and it's wonderful! I have been in 'self-discovery' and 'self-awareness' for 26 years as my work and I have not discovered so much in all those years as I have since being with all your wonderful belief and support, encouragement and understanding. Quality not quantity obviously!
Now I think I am beginning the Finding of My Soul....an awesome, humbling experience if ever there was one! That I dare even type the very words is testament of just how much my self-esteem has improved. My self-belief and my courage. Boy, it falters endlessly but it IS there and it is amazing.
And it is here that has helped me find it.
I haven't been around too much since my mother's death in February (the changes in my life have been too fast to keep up with!!) but the support I received from here then was incredible - I don't think I could have done it without you all. Even not being able to log on - just knowing you were all out there, for me and for each one of us - that swirling energy of belief and encouragement for each of us, round and round...SUCH an incredible energy! Bet it's visible from space!!!
And now I choose to be here. I know that, on the whole (!!!!) I can cope, but I want to be part of this incredible energy.
As I did some bits in my garden this morning in the sun I was thinking about how far I have come from last April - and how much I missed by being wrapped around a bottle all day....it's hard to remember it now! (Ok, Ok! A sort of denial but so what?! Why dig up old stuff just to feel guilty so I wont!!)
11 months on, 26th May was my day one - I now can do what I dreamed was possible for me.....enjoy a white wine spritzer of an evening...just the one. And not want any more. (Red wine = ugh! Memories and so be it, I say with gratitude!) I am blessed in a way I know so many are not but I do include this paragraph as it was what helped me way back then; the AA one drink and you've failed approach almost drove me to drink! (Although I will stand by the need to be AF for at least the 106 days I was for ever and I have to thank AA in its way.) Seeing that mods was a possibility to some here was a great boost. But following so many's wonderful yet heart-wrenching stories found me in a place where I felt we could all find...well, fancy!!! Our Own Way Out!!!
Thanks RJ for this incredible site and thanks to you all my lovely friends (and those who have moved on now too). I think of you so much - thanks for being part of my life.
Never, never, never, never, NEVER give up on yourself - anyone. You ARE in there just waiting to come out and SHINE!!!
Blessings
Finding My Self's Soul. XXXX
(Please, please, please hang in for the 100 days AF if you intend to try modding....I would so hate for this post to knock anyone off track. Alcohol will remain a disaster to lots of people for ever. Sorry. That's just the way it is. Hugs)
Edit - just realised it was six months I did AF before modding - dunno where I got the 106 days! Important to say I think because maybe that made the difference...? Go for six months, not just 100 days!)
c: :heart:
Comment