In want to quit

[wantto]

HI!

I need your help, I bought the book over a year ago and the kudzu. I was not very good at the promise I made myself to quit. I did try the kudzu. I wasn't good about taking it every day. Never tried topamax. I did use wellbutrin for 2 weeks and I would loose my train of thought and peoples names. That was embarassing, especially at work. I know that I am ruining my life. I wish I had the power. I tell my huspand that I wish I was like him super controled. He will have a drink every two weeks or so. Me, I drink everyday. Routine, when I get home from work, while I cook etc.

I am really disappointed in myself. I stood up my friend today, I was supposed to go do Yoga. I hate it, but after a 90 minunte, 100 degree workout I feel revived. Like all the toxins have left my body. I will try to go tomorrow.

I am gardening and having one glass of wine. Why, this morning I said I would quit and here you go.

Funny thing, I drink and wake up in the morning like nothing. What is wrong with this picture.

[Determinator]

In want to quit

Wantto, sorry to hear your down. Have you considered antabuse? it really has helped myself and many others. You don't have to take it forever...it just give you a simple way to look at alcohol...NOT an option.
I'd suggest speaking to you doctor about it if possible though as you should get some tests done first.
hoping the best for you...

[Prest4time]

In want to quit

Hi Wantto,

Sorry you are still struggling after a year, but realize this beast does not go down without a fight! Many of us have been here for much longer than a year and still have our battles with alcohol. Try not to let the failures of yesterday dampen your drive for the battle at hand today. Every day is a new day. I think we all are here because we want help and desire change. But there comes a day where that level of desire to quit overrides the desire to continue drinking. It doesnt mean you are perfect from that point on, it just puts a "fight" in you that you never had before. We all have our point where enough is enough and you decide that no matter how hard it is to not drink, you are determined to persevere.

I also highly recommend the Antabuse. Once you take the first pill (when you are feeling positive and determined such as first thing on a morning), then you know you cannot drink. You simply cannot, unless you want to wind up extremely sick after a very small amount. If you feel that willpower is your biggest weakness, Antabuse will help to make that choice for you. I felt frustrated the first few days after taking it, but after that... WOW! It was so liberating. A lot of people here are trying it and having great success.

Whatever you choose, we are all here to support you.

P4T

[wantto]

In want to quit

Hi!

Thanks for the advise. I tried wellbutrin once and that made me very spacy and forgetfull. I would forget names of individuals that I delt with at work and I had to stop.

What other side affects are there with antabuse. I googled it. If think if I took that I would not drink because I would be afraid to puke.

Anyways, I am afraid of talking to my Dr. I did mention a problem 8 months ago and she took tests and they all came out normal. I am worried that over time I will have issues and I know I will. It's not fair to my family. I worry about privacy and being pegged as having a drinking problem. I'm not sure how much information insurance companies get ahold of. For example if you want to apply for life insurance don't they want access to your records. I guess I am paranoid.

I don't have time to take of from work, I wish I did to get well.

[wantto]

In want to quit

Hi!

Pres4time!

I really appreciate your words.

So for how long did you take antabuse and how long have you been sober. I apologize for the personal questions.

[Mags]

In want to quit

Hi there wantto

It sounds like you are ready to turn that big corner. That's great. I know you really want to stop drinking and it sounds like that is the best thing for you. You should definitely keep posting here. We will all try to help as much as we can.

As for meds, I have never taken Antabuse but I know it has helped many people here. As for showing up on insurance records, if you are not planning on changing jobs or seeking new insurance coverage, then that should not matter. And think of it this way, if you need help now, then get it now - worry about tomorrow later. Going sober is better than a DUI or God forbid hurting someone in a traffic accident. You have to think of all the alternatives and make the choice.

I take Topamax. I went sober for a long time before starting to take it and it took me several months to dose up to my proper dose. I have a good doctor who gave me an Rx for it - she knows about my alcoholism. I have to say I think it is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Even after several years of sobriety I still had strong cravings and the Topa really knocked them out. It mostly has taken away that daily struggle that I endured for years. You can buy it from River Pharmacy without an Rx or if you get a prescription, it is prescribed for a variety of reasons so doesn't necessarily mean you are an alcoholic to the insurance company.

I hope some of this helps. I don't know if it does.

Good luck to you. I hope to see more of you on the boards. You CAN do this!!!

[Prest4time]

In want to quit

Hi again Wantto,

That's the whole point of Antabuse... you either dont drink, or you vomit. So naturally, you dont drink! Because you are sober when you take it (allow 12 hours since your last drink, so even if you drank the night before, then wait 12 hours from your last drink before taking it). The humorous side of it is; its like putting yourself in "personal rehab" without all the expense! No one else has to know (except those we want to share and get support with here). You dont have to tell friends or family, just say you are not drinking right now because of a whole myriad of reasons. I love the "I'm on antibiotic right now and my doctor said not to have any alcohol while on it. " That shuts them up every time. I struggle with UTI infections frequently, so my family and friends who drink think nothing of it. I am not comfortable telling my friends who have no idea I suffer from this that I am on antabuse. Its none of their business.

As far as side effects, there are none that I can tell and from what others have shared here that are on it, its like you can hardly believe you are even on anything! Life just goes on as normal... no side effects UNLESS of course you drink! You have to be careful initially about anything you apply skin care-wise that has alcohol in it such as a facial astringent, or recipes that call for wine. Most have done fine, but test those things cautiously in the beginning if should try the Antabuse route. I will promise you one thing, you will not drink once you swallow that pill! And you will love yourself for doing so.

I am fairly new on it... three weeks. I went off intentially once because of weekend functions that I did not feel strong enough to face, so only took one pill early in the week so I could have wine that weeked. I did fine, and I would not recommend that avenue, but its what I chose in my first "launch" into Antabuse. I went all the next week without it... did not drink most nights, but did overdo the nights I did. So this past Monday morning, I took it again and it was SO much easier this time! I think I was finally ready to welcome the life changes it would bring rather than dreading and fearing them as if I was being put in prison. I now see it as being let out of prison, and finally free!

Best of luck with whatever you decide, and we will be here to support you with whatever you choose.

P4T

[Accountable for Me]

In want to quit

Yep - have to agree about the antabuse route. It is like a breath of fresh air being free from the anxiety of whether to drink or not.

I, took it for a couple of weeks and went off of it, only to find myself drinking again. I am now back on it and I feel great. My doctor says I can take it long term as long as my blood work comes back OK when checked every so often. I have had no side effects from it. None at all.

It really does bring a sense of peace.

I am glad you found us, and welcome aboard!

[wantto]

In want to quit

Thank You

Hello,

All the advise I have gotten is truely bueatiful. I do appreciate your advise, since I can't give any a this point because I am not a good example. Some day I will get there. I have planted lots of flowers today and hopefully they will bloom and remind me of talking to all of you.

Thanks again for trying to help someone that does not know where to turn.

Love, wantto