Tough Love...take it or leave it.

[Thankful]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

Luv, it means a lot to me that you would post and support this thread. Thank you.

I want to make sure that people know that I am in favor of people posting what's going on in there lives. Hell, we have to get all that bad stuff off our chests and there are a lot of great listeners here.

But I don't approve of the ones that want to pull at our heart strings so we'll say "go ahead, you deserve a drink today". I sometimes think there is a little bit of manipulation on their part to try to get us to tell them what they want to hear. I hope that made sense. I hope by now people really know the sort of posts I am referring to.

Thank you again. Best of luck to you.

Love, Me
:l

[Thankful]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

I'll get my coat.........

LMAO!!!

Bessie, you are too funny. Thank you. Your post speaks volumes. Believe me, I do agree with you. Just kind of feel sad for new people who just get a few replies while others.....well, I'm not gonna beat a dead horse.

Love, Me
:l

[Guest]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

BUT

We also on the other hand, don't need molly coddling - just left to make our own minds up, then we can get to the point where we accept help ourselves. My ex kept telling me I needed rehab - whereas I didn't want it and to have gone any earlier would have been wasting everyone's time. However that does not mean it can be used as an excuse for others to avoid taking responsibility.

What I can see in those who are still drinking and post, now I am no longer influenced by AL is the self-pity. A bit like children. That's what AL does, stops you growing up and helps you avoid responsibility, it can also keep you in a submissive state. That's what it did for me anyway. Then one day I just said "Enough!It's time for me to take charge". Takes a lot of hard work and it's scary but exciting at the same time.

[Beck]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

Thankful,

We seem to be on a similar wavelength...if/when I falter...I am going to contact you to help me get myself back in line

Bessie, Completely agree. Take what you like and leave the rest...

Beck

[brittzak]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

I know for ME, I didn't need someone saying.."have a drink sweetie, your life is horrid". Hell, I told MYSELF that 1000's times a day. I did NOT need encouragement. I think sometimes we forget what this site is really about.....it is not a popularity contest. We are not in high school here, we are adults with a common problem. No one is any more important than another.
I wasn't going to add my 2 cents worth, but having been someone that was here for attention for a long time, I hoped I could say "DON'T". Bad things can happen to good people, but drinking the pain away, causes more pain!!!!!!!!

[Dolly Sunshine]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

Great thread...I caused quite a ruckus when I expressed this opinion awhile ago so I will just stay quiet.

[BigMac]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

I think, in a nutshell, Thankful's original post was primarily stating the fact that as people with drinking problems we need to take some level of responsibility and we need to take action and we need to do the work it takes if we expect any kind of success. Thankful, correct me if I'm off base here.

When I first came here and posted 20 days ago looking for help and advice one of the very first things I was told (by several members) was to get my ASS to work! That's not 'tough love' (IMO). They were also very caring and wanted updates on my progress and provided words of encouragement that I continue to read every day - I mean, I was getting responses to my very first post within minutes and I haven't had a drink since!! It's only been 20 days, but that is HUGE for me. So Thankful and others, don't leave MWO. We need you here. As long as there are forums on the Internet of any kind there will be controversy.

[Accountable for Me]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

Thankful, great thread!

The ones that are 'attention seekers' or seem to be 'manipulative'. I have a hard time biting my tongue when I see thread after thread of people crying out for help, but don't try to stop what they are doing. It is kind of like paddling a boat and not getting anywhere when trying to help.

It leaves me exhausted.

Quitting drinking is hard work and it takes dedication. Sometimes I feel like screaming into the computer and saying "Throw the shit down the drain, and try already!"

Anyway......... I know life is life and sometimes it throws curve balls at you. BUT the fact of the matter is that life will ALWAYS throw you curve balls. My new philosophy is "Either drown yourself in the misery, or fight the fight sober. Ultimately, it has to be dealt with anyway."

[Ripple]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

poo poo platter.

i'm on forum due to time right now. faxed out today 5 leads for employ so i'll be onto more productive activities to support my gambling addiction. one problem at a time for Ripples.....its been fun - i just don't fit into the behind screen community. Tough Toe-Nails, thats why i rip mine off. There is too much tension as it is with this sober shit never mind wot you said to a plant? I'm gonna stay me, and i doo appreciate what people say...I am a wonderful honest person cleaning up my poo. I don't have moo-moo's..have no affiliation with the sewer business. My relationship with hubby is an 'arrangement' i am safe and cared for, i am in control of me...:yougo::yougo::yougo: 12/08 I am FREE.

[bootcampbarbie]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

i am so thankful lol that you have started this inquiry. i suppose it is a challange for me at times then to discern is this a real cry for help or is this another one of those....... so to clean up the space is a really genuine way of saying.. there are a tremendous amount of good people here with beautiful hearts and lots of tools. it makes sense to use that all wisely and to use it to move yourself forward. if you are using it for some other means as to keep you where you are doing the same thing over and over again, it isn't a good use of what is here with these folks. and yes, getting attention to a degree you need it at times is even okay as it is a lonely battle at times but to do this over and over and over again muddies up the integrity of the space. it causes drama and heart ache where there doesn't need to be any. the sober fight is a good fight to have. and i don't know really what "tough love" is. i have no rule. i do know what being caring and honest is.. and i've been that many a time.. and i wasn't going to stop drinking til i did but i also wasn't going to use up the space and people's love and respect by crying out for help when i really didn't want any.. no it takes commitment... don't pick up the first drink... i do rather love my chocolate now though.

[Breez]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

Someone said this to me in outpatient years ago and I still carry it with me & have said it here before: Nothing will change unless you change it.

[bootcampbarbie]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

ripple have a beautiful day. it's the internet so you can come back in whenever you choose. good luck today.

[Accountable for Me]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

and.... I meant NO disrespect for those who are trying.

I love what you said there, Breez. It is very true.

[brittzak]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

Bootsie,
I love ya girl! God knows we have been through the ropes together.........LENAIR HERE I COME June 24-27th...yip, yip!!!!!!

[Laurav]

Tough Love...take it or leave it.

Thanks for the post Thankful!
It made me thnk of my neighbor who keeps complaing that she needs to lose weigh but turns me down every time I invite her to the gym. She is never going to get in shape until she puts in some effort.