Something is different.. in me

[Palatia]

I started noticing something different about me. It started on Saturday.

It's hard to explain but.. It's kind of like I'm feeling something different at times.. it's a feeling. It's like more real.. I think what it is is more of a humility than a shame feeling.

I notice when talking to some of the same people I've talked to for years (or even my whole life) that I communicate differently too. It's kind of a bittersweet feeling really. It's like.. whatever is.. I can accept. I don't get all defensive (like I used to).. I don't immediately think I'm right. It just is... It's kind of like the Serenity Prayer incarnated.. lol.

However, I do notice that if someone is a trigger for me.. (namely my mother), that can almost go out the window. I like this new feeling.. and I have a feeling it will get deeper. Has anyone experienced something similar?

I do feel that I need to limit contact with my mother and hope I can get out of this business I'm in with my parents so I don't have to talk to her almost daily..

[keeta]

Something is different.. in me

Palatia,

We are ever evolving creatures. We adapt to our surroundings. (too well in my instance, regarding AL!!)
Perhaps you are becoming the "you", you can be, without alcohol being the focus! (I am looking hard for that particular "me")

I haven't experienced it yet...but I think it may be progress girl! woohoo!

oh, and a quick ps...if I had to work with my mother, I would be typing this from prison...*"wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more"*

Big virtual hugs from me here,
K

[YoungAtHeart]

Something is different.. in me

It sounds like you are gaining more and more self-awareness and a measure of serenity, Palatia, except around your mother. ;-) You are becoming more reflective and your are chosing your responses, rather than "reacting". Well, as far as mothers are concerned, they can often make our best resolutions fly out the window, but it sounds like you are moving toward a good place. Good work!

[Thankful]

Something is different.. in me

Palatia, yes, I think a lot of people can relate to this. My biggest trigger is my sister. Oh, Lordy can that one push buttons! lol

This remines me of yesterdays thread when a member noticed that he was less grumpy. That's another personality trait that new found sobriety brings for most of us.

Stay strong! You are doing fantastic!!

Love, Me
:l

[Palatia]

Something is different.. in me

keeta;318139 wrote:
oh, and a quick ps...if I had to work with my mother, I would be typing this from prison...*"wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more"*

K

Haha... yes, you know what I mean...

[out]

Something is different.. in me

what a nice place to get to

When I'm in that place I call it radical acceptance...let us know how it keeps going for you.

[tlrgs]

Something is different.. in me

hi there..palatia...i know what you are talking about .alot of people i know say the same thing aboue me that i talk and walk defferent meaning talking with strenght and and walking with my head up.feeling proud of myself.i dont really know i think am handling myself tha same way i have aways have but that just me without that al now .and as for your mom have a sit down with her and be straight with her and be positive .and if that doesnt work tell her to f--k off lol really that what i do when my mom use to piss me off .. peace and god bless ..good to see you posting again

[gelgit]

Something is different.. in me

Sigh

It's my Day 4, and I think I fianlly know the feeling you're talking about. My head has never been there before. In another thread about funerals, I realized that even though my mother has been dead for 6 years now, she can still push my buttons. It was her birthday last week that set me off and I didn't even realize it until today. I could never make peace with her not even on her deathbed... what I need is to make peace with myself. Retrospective???

[Palatia]

Something is different.. in me

tlrgs;318199 wrote: .and if that doesnt work tell her to f--k off lol really that what i do when my mom use to piss me off .. peace and god bless ..good to see you posting again

lol.. I really can't do that tl.. They don't even know what the extent of my drinking was, let alone my attempt at sobriety.. hehe. Besides, since I'm still in business with them (and so sort of dependent on) it really wouldn't be a good idea.. But when I have something else going on for income, I'll do like my sister.. as little contact as I can get away with... lucky her...

[Beck]

Something is different.. in me

Hi Palatia,

Took me a while to notice my "new" personality. I noticed this most dealing with my husband. In the past when we disagreed...okay argued...I would feed his anger and it would get ugly...now I just calmly make my point and his anger diffuses. Not immediately of course but I no longer rise to the bait and I no longer drink after (or before). It's like now I'm on equal footing, so what I say matters.
Beck

[treeman]

Something is different.. in me

Palatia,
I have felt this awakening too. People can't figure out what's different about me. Maybe I'm just smiling more.......

Now that I have that feeling, I am committed to keeping it; not slumping back into the morass. You should also look at these days with confidence and a new affection for the world around.

[MyHeartIsDrenchedInWine]

Something is different.. in me

I've gone through awakenings...so yes I can say I do relate to what you are saying....especially regarding one's Mother.

I'm sooo happy for you :l

[fresh-start-at-36]

Something is different.. in me

I know what you mean. I'm only at day 8 and feel like I've been taking something illegal....

I can't wait to see how I feel after a year!!!!!!

Brett