Hi Everyone.
You may remember that I told everyone on Croft's AF April thread how wonderful I was doing. I'll start at the beginning. I have had a problem with drinking for 7 or 8 years, but of course it has only progressed. Isn't that what it's supposed to do. So being the every ready researcher I have been researching alcohol, brain chemistry, hypnosis, medication. A couple of years ago I ordered antabuse from overseas and never even opened it. I don't know why I ever ordered it if it was going to sit in the dresser drawer. Anyway when I saw that some of you were having such great results from antabuse and having about all I could take of the guilt, and hiding I decided that April was the time. I started antabuse and made it to about 20 days . I was feeling geat. I was happy. I was using the CD's and feeling even better. Than for some stupid stupid stupid reason I decided that I didn't need to take the antabuse. Well, gues what.... I'm right back the the unhappy drinking fool I was in March. So my warning is if it is working for you keep at it. Don't be fooled that some miracle has occured and that things will be different. I now know that I will need time. I am having a really hard time with my 20 year marriage and want so badly to get out...but as long as I can't go a day with out drinking where do I think I am going? I really need to feel better about myself and can't do that while my only real relationship is with AL. My kids are 18 and 13 so they are not around much. My lonliness and pain of it keep me thionking its better to drink and not feel the emptiness. I am making a committment that May will be different and would really like to get to know you all better. I could use all the support and freinds I can find. I am finding myself at work reading all the posts, but always feel that I am not successful enough to help anyone else. Well, I'm jumping in here, Back to antabuse, CD's AF and hopefully on to some great support. Thanks for listening and reading and most of all for being here.
You may remember that I told everyone on Croft's AF April thread how wonderful I was doing. I'll start at the beginning. I have had a problem with drinking for 7 or 8 years, but of course it has only progressed. Isn't that what it's supposed to do. So being the every ready researcher I have been researching alcohol, brain chemistry, hypnosis, medication. A couple of years ago I ordered antabuse from overseas and never even opened it. I don't know why I ever ordered it if it was going to sit in the dresser drawer. Anyway when I saw that some of you were having such great results from antabuse and having about all I could take of the guilt, and hiding I decided that April was the time. I started antabuse and made it to about 20 days . I was feeling geat. I was happy. I was using the CD's and feeling even better. Than for some stupid stupid stupid reason I decided that I didn't need to take the antabuse. Well, gues what.... I'm right back the the unhappy drinking fool I was in March. So my warning is if it is working for you keep at it. Don't be fooled that some miracle has occured and that things will be different. I now know that I will need time. I am having a really hard time with my 20 year marriage and want so badly to get out...but as long as I can't go a day with out drinking where do I think I am going? I really need to feel better about myself and can't do that while my only real relationship is with AL. My kids are 18 and 13 so they are not around much. My lonliness and pain of it keep me thionking its better to drink and not feel the emptiness. I am making a committment that May will be different and would really like to get to know you all better. I could use all the support and freinds I can find. I am finding myself at work reading all the posts, but always feel that I am not successful enough to help anyone else. Well, I'm jumping in here, Back to antabuse, CD's AF and hopefully on to some great support. Thanks for listening and reading and most of all for being here.
ray:
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