Oh NOO

[time2change]

i i know that I have been here for a long time, but although I am not yet AF I feel like especially this year I am really making progress. In April I joined Croft and went over 20 days for the first time in a very long time. It was with the help of antabuse but whatever works right? For some reason I stopped and ended up April right back were I was.

I do plan on going through May AF and would invite all the support I can get. i am back on the antabuse and on day 2. Now I have to go through all that sleeping mess all over again.

That is not my big on no. I am in a really bad marriage. Things were bad 7 years ago and that was when I started anti dressants and drinking. We worked it out at least I thought so, but now I realize he only came back for the house and kids. The fact that i am responsible for EVERYTHING is also probably high on his list of resaons for staying. We are at the point that we sleep apart we do nothing together and I am angry all the time.

He just went out to get lotto and came back and told me that there was no money in our checking account. I went on line and see that Mr Irresponsibility has used his debit card constantly at fast food, delis, beer stores, gas stations for beer and food for his buddies. i can't do this anymore. I am getting my own bank account and when I can get my act together I am going to do what is best for me. I can not drink no matter how much he pushes me. I think he likes it when I do so he can do his own thing. He doesn't want to leave becasue I take care of the house and kids and everything. I know this is too much information but right now I need this off my chest. No drinking!!!!!! I need to be able to help myself. Thank you all for readiung this. You all mean alot to me.:h:h

[Breez]

Oh NOO

Nothing will change unless you change. Congrats...you are on your way. Stay your ground. You deserve to be happy. Who knows what will happen down the road but right now think of yourself. In sobriety there is a lot of selfishness. You need to think of yourself first.

I hope things work out for the best for you. Never give up.

[Chief]

Oh NOO

Hi Time....

Nice to see you.....welcome back. It's a tough situation you're in, but nothing that can't be fixed....

Your #1 priority needs to be you. Stay strong and focused in your desire to quit drinking. You need to be strong and in control now.

Come here and post often....we're all here for you....:l

Don

[fairyfeet]

Oh NOO

Hi

My first husband was like that so I divorced him, then even before the decree absolute came through we were back together we had another 2 children then I divorced him again for the same reason
But we were best of mates then for a bit we actually talked!
Now he has a new wife and she is really good with my kids and I have a new husband step back a little bit and be kind to yourself all that matters is you and the kids and he should respect you seem to be doing a damn good job on your own thats how i felt
but probably thats when i started drinking he was a drinker i wasnt then
peace of mind is a great thing to have i wish i did
hang in and dont beat yourself up i am new to i hope we can all beat it

[Miso]

Oh NOO

Hi Time2Change,

Congratulations for recognizing you needed to get back on the antabuse. That took strength and courage. Getting your own checking account is probably a good idea. Getting al out of your system will help you to make the right decisions regarding your marraige. We are here for you. Good luck. :l

Miso :heart:

[time2change]

Oh NOO

Thank you all. You are so kind to respond so quickly. You may start getting sick of me because I'm not going to give up.

Breez & Chief- I think that is why I may have a problem. I have NEVER been a priority for myself. He is a slefish person and I catered to it. Of course my kids were always before me too. But I hear you and will work on it.

Fairy- Very similar story, He alwys drank I never did. But I think that I lost myself somewhere and thought I could take anything if I numbed myself. Time to be kind to myself. I'll need all of your help but I know from the past and reading that you will all be here when I do.

Thank you

[time2change]

Oh NOO

Miso
Thanks our posts crossed but I appreciate you advise.

[Accountable for Me]

Oh NOO

time2, it is now your time.

I went through the same thing with having a shared bank account. I eventually got my own, and was glad I did. I was tired of being nickled and dimed to death and having nothing to show for my earnings back in the day. I think everyone in a relationship should keep some independence and have their own account.

You sound like you have finally had it with many things. I see a bright future for you coming. Time to be selfish and take your life back.

[dexterhead]

Oh NOO

Hi Time: I remember you from when I first started. You deserve so much better!!!! Please separate your money pronto. And don't let him push you to drink! Stay strong. It is time for YOU!!!:h:hThinking of you:l

[time2change]

Oh NOO

Thanks Dex. I think I read that today was your Birthday.

So Happy Birthday!!!!!

Accountable & Dex- I know I need to do this. I have let everything continue the way it was because it was so much easier than dealing with it. I guess it was the same with the alcohol.

[Thankful]

Oh NOO

Time2change, you sound very determined. That's good. You will need that fire in the belly to put the plan into action. Only you can help you and it is high time that you become the priority.

I said for years that my family caused me to drink. It took me a long time to realize that I did this to me. My family still stresses me out (big time!), but I took back that control and I no longer drown my troubles. It's not as easy to reach for a drink anymore because I can't blame it on anybody else if I do. It's time to reclaim yourself and never ever relinquish that control to anybody ever again.

You are really in a difficult position and my heart goes out to you. But you can do this. You sound like one tough cookie. Stay strong.

Good luck to you. We are here for you.

Love, Me
:l