I am in a difficult position and quite frankly scared to death. This whole ordeal started out quite innocently. Me just trying to "relax" while my verbally abusive hubsband was out of town working; he was a meth-head. I was enjoying EVERY minute of peace and quiet I had! Part of my "feel good" experience was to go and get a 4 pack of wine coolers.
My life has always been revolving around getting high one way or another. In the 70's it was pot and downers and beer. In the 80's it was coke and downers and an occasional wine or beer. To be honest, I've always hated alcohol...not my first choice to get high. After I got into church and my husband as well, the getting high stuff stopped for several years. Then my husband decided to start shooting meth again. Needless to say, my quality of life spiraled down quick. That's when I started going to the liquor store and getting wine or wine coolers. AT that time, it didn't take much to get me buzzed, so that was enough.
I got a job as a consultant in Texas and the culture there was to have a glass or two of wine or beer every evening after work and talk about the day's work with "the fellas". So I get into this habit of an evening cocktail in combination of dealing with a husband who has regressed back into meth. I started drinking more and more. I got on Zoloft for depression. Eventually my drinking increased and I ended up in an online "affair" with a guy who I eventually ended up running away from my husband to be with.
We have been together since 2001 and have a great relationship except for one thing: we both drink every single day. Since I've been here, I've moved from wine and wine coolers to rum and cokes on a nightly basis.
Even though my life is more prosperous and quiet and serene, I still drink every night. No matter how hard I try, I end up drinking too much rum and feeling horrible every morning when I wake up!
I came across this site and am encouraged for the first time in a long time. I've ordered the CD's and supplements and the book. In addition, I've made an appointment with my doctor to discuss possible medications to complete my victory over this addiction.
The way I look at it: I overcame smoking, I overcame cocaine and now I'll overcome this alcohol thing! I can't wait to get started on the program, especially the CD's. I think that will be a key element for me.
I appreciate sites like this that provide a kind ear to listen and support for stumblings.
Thanks for everything!
Micki
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