Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[1morechance]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello everyone
kept myself very busy this weekend, so wasn't ablet to check in. I'm doing well, and it looks like everyone is doing well also. Peanut, the program is called Habit Busting: a 21 day program to break any habit and it's by Lee Milteer. I downloaded the cd's and the book. It's really helping and keeping me focused. Hope everyone is having a nice Monday. It's very hot here in New England.

[jessie]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi everyone,
I just returned from the supermarket and have no doubt that I would have folded if I did not have Antabuse in my system. I actually went to the wineracks and stared at the bottles.
I have realised that a powerful trigger for me is my digestive system. When I drink my 1-2 bottles of wine I am super regular. And when I 've stopped like now after day 5 I'm feeling bloated and stuffed and uncomfortable. I'll take some Linoforce granules tonight and see if the yukky feeling leaves after a good ...you know what.
Any comments and advise from any of you?
Jessie

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Jessie - All bran for breakfast, plus prunes and alot of physical activity! That oughta keep things moving!!! I know - without daily wine, the digestive tract has to do some pretty smart adjustments!!! Get back to "normal". Good thing wine and alcohol is not sold in grocery stores here! I haven't been into a liquor store in a couple of weeks, and i shall continue to avoid them!! I only buy AF beer at the grocery store - ha! I sent my 16yo son out to buy my beer for me this past saturday!! And by the way, I don't find the AF beer a trigger at all! They don't leave me wanting the real thing -in fact, I like them - they leave me rather burpy, but I enjoy having the "beer" without the headachey feel and the yucky feel the next day. I think I stopped drinking beer in the last few years because of that!!! I always wondered if wine were to give me hangovers if I would have drank less of it??? Probably not, but really - never a hangover, just tired and wornout feeling.

NTC - you do make me laugh!!! Cheers to you with my AF beer!

CS04 - happy to see you made it through the weekend. And yes - I am only on the lowest Topa dose of 25mg. I was supposed to up it yesterday to 50g, but got totally messed up withthe supps, as I slept late and then was painting al day in my basement and didn't remember to take the Topa until 8:30 last night, so didn't want to change it at that point. I'll keep you posted on how it makes me feel, but so far, no side effects. Also, no desire to drink, but it could also be that I am over any actual withdrawl, as I think I went through all that hell back in may, and I am now just dealing with habit, and having no problem with it. I even am wondering if I should bother upping the dosage?!?! I will try to see my doctor tomorrow and talk to her about it. I definitely don't want to become complacement about it!

1more - thanks for the info on the Habit Busting program. This idea that we drink to cover up or deal with other issues in our life always gives me something to think about. I'm not sure I drink for this reason. I think I drink out of habit. Maybe at one time, when I first started to do it daily, when I first separted from my ex, that I was doing it to deal with all that shite, but now? That is all past, things are fine in my life, I am happy, etc. But I have such strong habits, alot of OCD tendencies, and I just need to bust the habits!!! I once tried to quit smoking, did the Zyban, got over the physical addiction (without drinking, only smoke 2/day), but as soon as we had company over, and beer/wine and ciggies around, that compulsion to smoke and drink was overwhelming!! That habit was just too strong, and i was back into it! I might just have to look into that program. I also found interesting the article that Sam posted a link to in another thread regarding Habits - I found it rang very true. I must look into this more........

Loppy -how are the bunnies?!?! You feeling well??

Rusty - not sure, but are you on day 9 today? Same as me, right? Feeling good?

I feel very happy to have made it through an AF weekend for the second time, probably in my life!!!! (or at least since I was a teenager, not counting pregnancies!!!) I also am happy to announced that I FINISHED PAINTING THE BASEMENT BEDROOM, AFTER 3 MONTH PROCRATINATION!!!! Whew!!!! Now to move my son down there, and start on that room and then do the downstairs bathroom....... Always work to do, never a dull moment.

Here's to a marvelous monday!!!
Peanut

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello all,
Jessie, sorry no digestive troubles so can't help there. Peanut is right, though; fiber is always good for you, esp. in the AM. I ended up not bothering with the lemon juice -- maybe today. We have wine and beer in our grocery stores, and since hubby drinks, I end up buying it, which I am not liking right now. Haven't bought any in a few days though -- leaving it up to him, as well as the recycling.

I know I drink out of habit, but I am having some scary gnawing feelings that there are some issues in my marriage that need to be fixed. I hate saying this. I mentioned to hubby several months ago that I though counseling might not be a bad idea; he didn't think so. (we're over 40 with an almost-2 year old) Things aren't awful but I'm not happy - hence the depression. I have loads of projects I could/should be doing, Peanut, but no motivation.

I am on Day 6 AF and was determined this morning to have a happy Monday, but mixed emotions on that. I am seeing my counselor this afternoon, so hopefully that will go well. It is hard to drag up that stuff, though.

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all,
Been gone over a week, and instead of getting the laundry done and gardening, everything else I should be doing, I've been here catching up for the past 4 hours!

Lots of new names here. I guess that's good, still amazed at how many of us struggle with the same problems!

Had a great time in Texas last week on our mission trip. Please check out my thread in General discussion forum. I intend to post stories about our trip as I can. I learned alot about myself during this trip! I faced some pretty big fears--mainly driving in a gigantic city.

Before we left I got drunk. Bad. Drove home too. Bad! Heard the next day road blocks were set up after we left town. Lucky! Stupid! Hubby and I both would have gotten busted! I hate to even think about that night, and it is damn hard to admit it here. But I am done. It is painfully obvious I have no control in such situations. I have been given another chance, and I am taking it. I'm not sure what that means right now, but I know I'm not drinking this month. This is my confession and my commitment, I'm not looking back, not saying it again, I'm going forward.

Thank you for being here for me. :h

[jessie]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi Peanut, I checked your profile - in which country do you live, sounds like Russia or so?
CS04, not feeling motivated to do anything is a sure sign of depression. Was this the first time you saw your counselor? In general it's harder for men to admit, or even know, that there is a problem. Are you fit, I remember how permanently exausted I was when my kiddies were small and I see the same now with my daughter who has 2 small ones. Little ones are very draining on energy. The smallest is also nearly 2.
LVT25. Wow, you were lucky. Some angels were there looking out for you. I have driven very drunk in the past and have never been caught. This bloody beast makes us do stupid, stupid things. We must kick it's backside straight into the deep sea. Jessie.

[Rusty-576]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi guys; how is everyone tonight. Hope all is well I just made day 9 and feeling very tired. I am supprised at that I thought it would start to get a little easier by now but oh well I will just hang in there. it is nice getting up with no hangover so here comes day 10
thanks everyone :thanks::thanks:

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Yep - here comes day 10 Rusty. Rather a nasty headache today. I wish it would stop. I don't know why I am so afflicted with these - never have been before! I upped to 50mg tops today and so far so good.

Jessie - not Russia, but western Canada is almost like Siberia in winter time!!!! Pretty socialist in SK too!!

Hello and goodnight to everybody - talk to you all tomorrow - I'm off to bed!
xoxo Peanut

[jessie]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Shame Peanut, it is totally unfair to get headaches now. But I think our poor brains go into shock and it takes at least 90 days ( Times article ) for the chemicals to right themselves again. There is fortunately nothing wrong with taking paracetemol or aspirin.
So you are in your summer now and we are in middle winter. We get snow occasionally on the highest mountain peaks here and more in the far Eastern Cape but not as much as you. Hope you feel better soon.
Rusty, I also felt tired about the same time during my previous AF but slipped on day 11. Let us know when the energy comes back.
Jessie

[nomoretisit]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

:new:

I just found this site today and am so pleased that i did. This is Day 1 AF for me. I have to go cold turkey and not just cut down cause when i start drinking i loose control and can't stop. It has taken me a long time to admit that i have a problem and now that i have i am scared. I know this is going to be so hard to control.

Everyone here seems to be so nice. It is really good to know that i am not alone and others have a problem like mine.

Thanks to the ones in chat today that gave me support.

[Evie.Lou]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Welcome Nomore,Their is great support here.I hope that your body is OK with Cold Turkey.If you start to get withdrawl symtoms that are too bad please go to a Doctor.They have Meds. that can ease the pain.Have you read the MWO book????It outlines the best program of recovery that I have ever found.Your local health food store will have some of the supps.that will help in these first days.If you become a subscriber to this program you will get a free down load of the book and a bottle of Kudzu to help with the cravings.1 month ago I was in your shoes.If i took 1 drink it would lead to 100.Be gentle with yourself.Drink LOTS of water(the dam beast AL robes us of water so please replenish it).Please stay close to this site.You will find many wise people here that will help you thru this.PM me if I can help.I know that you can do this.Together we have the Beast out numbered...LOL...Evie

[retteacher]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi Everyone: I only read the last 2 pages of this quite long thread, but there is a lot of support & optimism here. I've unexpectedly got a day off from my usual grandparent babysitting duties & thought I'd look around the website. I've been wanting to see this thread but was daunted by its length. Then, I realized that I don't have to read the whole thing.

I'm working on an AF life ODAT. I'm finding that works for me. I know I can't drink, but the idea of NEVER is overwhelming. So, today I'm not going to drink. I have a plan & am very happy MWO is here. Thanks everyone.

Mary

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello all,
Saw the counselor yesterday -- no, Jessie, it's not the 1st time I've seen her. She did give me an excellent piece of advice though: stop overanalyzing my marriage, motherhood and everything else because the depression is distorting it all. Let the meds kick in, and in a few weeks, if things still feel "off", then have a conversation with hubby -- now is not the time. This makes a lot of sense to me. As far as running after my little guy, I am in decent enough shape (lost weight after baby, strangely enough) but yes it is tiring -- emotionally as much as physically.
Yes, Rusty, wish I had the energy that the AF others speak of, but not yet I suppose.
LVT, thank you for sharing and thank you for going forward. I have been behind the wheel and it is painful to think of what might have been.
Nomore, welcome! Read the MWO book for starters -- it will help.
Peanut, I have heard that sometimes headaches are a side effect of the Topa. It mentions it in the book; will have to look to see what it says to alleviate that. On 50 mg I am surprised, though. I am still back and forth on whether to stick with topa. I really can't afford it.....finances are tough.
Anyway, I'm on Day 7 -- lucky number so hopefully it will be a good day!

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Another good morning to you all!

Welcome Nomore - I suggest you start a thread on Just Starting Out, and tell a bit more about yourself, so everybody can meet you!!! Get some tools to help you out with this, as it can be very hard, as we all know! Nice to have you here!!!

I actually slept a bit better last night, so that's a plus. The headache is not with me today, at least not yet!!! And CS -it's not the Topa - I've been having this ever since startng this program in May and I only started the topa a week ago - I had thought maybe it was one of the supps, but who knows. Maybe there's something to what Jessie says about it taking 90 days for the chemicals to right themselves!!! Seems like a long time, but whatever. I'm sure it will pass eventually!!

Sounds like your counsellor had some fairly good advise CS - take a step back and just live, one day at a time. Get through this next little while, adjust to life without AL and then deal with the other issues if they still exist. The little guy must be a little ball of energy - I know what that is, chasing those kids around all day. I had 3 of them under 4yo back in the day (they are all less than 2 years apart) - my house was a total mess, and I quite frankly didn't give a shit!!! It actually helped that I went back to university after a year home with each of them. Not like going back to full time work, but flexible enough to make it work, and enough time to have some "non-family" life in my head too.

LVT - I enjoyed the video clip of the mission - were you in there somewhere???? And yes - i've been behind that wheel too!!! Sometimes, when I have been feeling really badly about myself, I will wake with a jolt, with a horrid sense of what could have happened, even though nothing bad did happen. A feeling of "I had better stop this behaviour before it is too late!!". But you are ok - everything went well on your trip, and you feel good about things! I am happy it was such a good experience for you.

Today is day 10 - yah!!! Rusty too!! First time in the double digits, ever!! Feels good! Caseaday said something about the 2week mark being hard,wanting to party, so I am sort of dreading that, as I have a hash run this saturday, it won't be a "work night" and the beer will be flowing, so I will have to be strong!!!

Evie - nice to see you here. Is your brother gone??? Get all that painting done?
Retteacher - good to know you have your plan. I've read your posts everywhere else, and feel i've gotten to know you a little bit!!

Everybody else, have a fabulous AF day - Ollie, NTC, Loppy, hope to hear from you too (and Wooflet, where are youuuuuuu?!?!?!?)

Later, Gators!
xoxo Peanut

[ntcentral]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all, I'm playing hookey from work. I had a meeting a few miles from my office that ended at 1:30. I got in the car and somehow or another, my wheels found their way home instead of to my workplace parking lot.

Peanut, congrats on getting the painting done. I found your comments on habits interesting. I think habit has a lot to do with my drinking behaviors---I had (I love being able to use the past tense verb here) fallen into the habit of getting a nightly blitz. However, in my case, it is more than habit. There is something physical inside of me that once I have the first few sips, something snaps and I literally lose all judgement. I keep downing AL until I'm blitized. My choice is either to abstain or to go all the way. I have an off button and a high gear and not much in between. Maybe that's a form of OCD

LVT25, sounds like you might of have one of those "all the way" nights before your trip. So glad you made it through unscathed. Welcome back to the bandwagon of sobriety, glad to have you here with us.

CS04--I imagine life is never dull with a 2 yr old, esp. after the age of 40. I've noticed several long term abstiners who post here have suggested that life gets a lot clearer once you've given up AL for a while. Maybe after you have gone a while without, your emotions will become more self-evident and you'll be able to examine issues in your marriage with clearer vision. It is true, isn't it, that AL can fill a void that is not being filled by other means, as well as mask a problem that needs to be addressed.

Loppy, you hanging in there? Rusty? Floridaboy (do you live near the ocean? how lucky), 1more, Cindi, and jessie (how are the innards?)---hello to all.

I'm heading outside to enjoy the afternoon. Cheers, NTC