Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

NTC, I saw your post once mine went thru -- and you told me not to beat myself up! I really don't want to drink/throw in the towel. Good luck with the rum and coke evenings. At least if you have just coke, no one will know if there's no rum in it, right? But whatever other people see or think, it's us who feel deprived -- at least at this point. The social events are hard, and I'm wondering if my "being good" on Sunday led to my "being bad" on Tuesday. Hopefully having your hubby there with you will provide you with strength.

[Thankful]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Ok, ok...I know I still have A LOT of catching up to do. But just popping in again because I miss you guys so much!!

Hope everything is going as each of you have planned for yourselves.

Everything here is good. Very busy, but I am happy about that. Really able to focus on me lately and I am not used to that. I can't tell you what almost 6 months of sobriety does for your own empowerment! Damn it feels great!!!!

Stay strong and focused. Nothing can bring you down if you don't let it!!!


Love, Me
:l

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hey - it's thursday!!! Almost the end of the week! Yes!! I should be dreading the weekend, I know - but I'm not, for some reason! Jazz Festival this weekend - I get to see Los Lobos and Pink Martini too. I talked to a gal at the ticket office and asked if she thought I would be able to bring AF beer into the grounds with me (it is outside, behind the big hotel here on the river side - really nice), and she thought it wouldn't be a problem - thanks goodness for that, so I should be ok!). So I am looking forward to getting away from work for a bit, as I have been pretty busy there! I didn't run at lunch but went for a walk, and for the first time in like 10 year, my technician joined me for a walk. She has lived here all her life - 50 years - and has never stepped foot on the train bridge!! I could hardly believe my ears!!!! So I made her go onto the bridge!!! See - it's not so scarey!!!! She was rather red faced by the time we got back, long pants, sunny outside, and legs half as long as mine (well, almost - she is very short), but I do hope she tries to get out for walks more often. Daily exercise like that can only help a person!!!

CS - you stop now with the guilt!! (I am waggling my finger at you!) I have faith in you that you won't throw in the towel. And no self-beating self up, ok? It is only another 11 days until the end of June and then another evaluation for the next 30 days - that's the way I am thinking about it anyhow. Month by month. Kind of scares me actually!

Rusty - Yes!!! Day19 - Wow! I do believe if I hadn't found this site, I probably would still be downing that litre of wine every night and saying every morning "not tonight, tonight I will just go to bed, tonight I will not go to the liquor store, tonight... yada yada yada..." It is amazing, isn't it??

LVT - Thriller!!!! Wow - Poor Mikey - he used to be so cute!!!!

NTC - we won't hear from you in a while, unless you can get on a computer while in Canada. We do have those up here! ha!! Good luck with the white-knuckling or the cheerleading! And you are right - of coarse mid-forties is still young!!! Right gals????? As for the "skinny peanut" - hey - I'm trying - I'm ALWAYS trying. My daughter once said to me, "mom, you're always dieting, always exercising, always trying, but you always look exactly the same". Hmmm..... why do I bother!!!!

Thankful - what the heck are you up to these days!! I just can't imagine 6 months of sobriety! Be proud - very proud!!

Hi to everybody else to come along! And best to everybody on this beautiful June AF day!!
xoxoxoxo Peanut

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello everyone,
Probably won't have time tomorrow to check in, so here I am. One more day of VBS!
You know, it's been fun, but I'm growing weary. I could never be a teacher! When my own kids don't listen to me, I can deal with them, but pretty frustrating when someone else's kids just ignore you or tell you "no". It's been interesting watching the different personalities though. I've learned a lot, so it's been worthwhile.
Saturday and Sunday our 4-H club serves breakfast to a biker group (always pretty hungover) at their annual hog roast. In the past I was usually hungover too, so it's really nice to know I can get up bright and early and not feel like crap. Especially since I'm pretty much in charge this year!
It will be nice to not be so busy next week. :H

I used to be a pretty big Michael Jackson fan, way back when he was normal. So here's just one more--one of my favorites. Have a great weekend all! :h

[ame=

]YouTube - Ben - Michael Jackson[/ame]

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all,
Looks like a slow day on the 1-30 thread. I know several people are out of town.

My 17-year old stepson is here starting today for the rest of the summer. He is usually with us every other weekend, then longer in the summer. Today was a big deal, though, because he drove himself -- he's only had his license a few months and it's over an hour drive, with minimal highway experience, so hubby and I were nervous about that! I know he will notice that I am not drinking, but I don't want to launch into a big discussion about it. I do kinda feel like drinking tonight, but I'm not going to. I didn't buy any AF beer at the store, cause I didn't think I was in the mood, but now that it's after 5 and we are going to grill (does everyone else have this urge to drink when grilling out??) I may go out and get some after all. Wondering if I made the right decision to go off the Topa -- so many have good luck with the high mg dosages, but it is not economically feasible right now.

Haven't heard from Jessie in awhile -- hope she is still with us!

LVT, I am a teacher! Currently working with college students though. Summer is a hard time to get anyone to concentrate, and I would imagine that VBS has no grades or anything, so that makes it even tougher.

Peanut, good deal bringing your AF beers to the jazz fest.

Rusty, glad you are hanging in there!

Thankful, glad you checked in on our 1-30 thread, with your 6 months AF!

Everyone have a mid-40s (at least some of us [age, not temperature!]) AF positive weekend!

[Fresh Hope]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Day 4 AF!! does anyone else get tired from being A? I wish it was dark so I could go to bed.
Hope every one has a great weekend and not too many temptations.

Feeling abit tempted tonight but too tired to do anything about it, no AL in the house....good thing!
FH

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello Sober Living Peeps!
Fresh hope - great for you for Day 4!!! And CS04 - go get those AF beers just in case. Maybe I will have one right now. It is super warm out and I rode my bike to work, stopped at the paint store on the way home and hauled a couple litres of paint home, along with my running clothes and morning sweater in my back pack. Boy, was I hot and tired when I got home. Plus, I ran downtown and back at lunch time to pick up my tickets for the weekend. Maybe I'll have a snooze for 10 minutes instead while the chili cooks that I just prepared!

And FreshHope - Tired from being AF?? You bet!! I got so sleepy at work today!! I was sitting at my desk, looking at numbers and writing and falling asleep - my writing while jotting down some notes actually was veering off the line, getting all squiggly!! I jumped up and ran into my lab, slapping my face. My tech said I looked super white. In fact, I feel like I look older lately, always tired, and rather sunken in my face, not all moon faced any more like I was, my face has gotten thinner. I try to drink lots of water, but still, kinda sunken eyes - don't know what's up with that - like I always look exhausted. Hmmm.......

Tell - the truth, like I said elsewhere, I have been having alot of thoughts of drinking the past couple days, so I started taking the Kudzu and L-glut again. It will be 3 weeks tomorrow (yay), but the committee is banging at the door, wanting in again, and I am trying to ignore them - go away, I keep telling them!! I was going to write here earlier, but was responding on a couple other of the newbie threads, trying to give some encouragement, and I think that has helped me renew some of my resolve, but still - why, when I have felt so strong so far this month, am I feeling this little bit of weakening! I don't think I will cave, but still - why these thoughts?!?! Argh!!!!!!

OK - I think that 10min cat nap is in order. My boy just put his head down on the couch too! CS - enjoy your stepson's company, ok? Everybody, have a great friday night, wherever you are!!!
xoxoxo Peanut
ps. Michael Jackson really was so cute when he was a youngster, wasn't he!!!! I think I remember watching that with amazement when I was a kid!

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Whew!! I survived VBS!! Seems we had the "rowdiest" to put it nicely kids. Glad it's over! Then off to my next project--the biker breakfast. Had to clean and set up. Hubby and the guys were drinking beer (hot today) also have a few biker friends there. A cold one sounded kinda good, but I promised myself no more drinking and driving (since I can't seem to control myself) and gotta get up early and don't want to feel like crap. So I came home and am relaxing. I know I'm not missing much except a headache in the morning!

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Fresh hope, I was so f**king tired the 1st week and a half of AF, it wasn't even funny. I would nap while baby slept, nap in the afternoon, go to bed early....Most people here have said the same thing. I think your body just freaks out a little bit -- or maybe a lot! What -- no AL in the system?! Give your body a rest, not to mention your mind, which is probably swirling, too (as least mine was, and still is a lot).

I am also finding that by 10:00 or 10:30, there's not much point in staying up if I'm not drinking. Unless there's something on TV, and I'm sure not going to start a project at that hour (but boy, I sure would if I had 5 beers or a bottle of wine in me!) I'd rather head up to bed and read a bit before falling asleep, and actually get close to 8 hrs of sleep. I have still been waking up earlier than I need to a lot of mornings, and not able to get back to sleep, so hopefully that will settle out soon.

Peanut, I didn't bother with the AF beer tonight -- not worth an extra trip to the store, but I will keep them on hand for next time the "urge" hits. As far as the weakening and wanting to drink, Tiny (who also slipped at day 15) and I were wondering if our cycles had anything to do with it, and the day I drank I had my period. I am not one to blame my period/hormones/PMS etc. for anything, but we thought it was rather coincidental. So...I don't know if that's your issue right now or not, but smth to think about. Did you get your Kudzu from MWO? The stuff I bought is now gone and I didn't think it helped at all. (by Planetary Herbals)

LVT, enjoy the biker breakfast tomorrow with a clear head! I also have to get up early -- I have a business at a local farmers market, but this one is across town so gotta drive for an hour.

Good luck everyone throughout the rest of the weekend!

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hope everyone is hanging in there for the weekend. I was kinda crabby this evening -- we had a thunderstorm come thru which cooled things off quite a bit, which made me REALLY want some red wine, esp. since I had made pasta for dinner. Hubby finished off a couple glasses from a couple days ago; if he had opened a 2nd bottle I'm sure I would have found a way to finagle some myself....so I guess I am glad he didn't open it and I stayed on the straight and narrow.

Here it is, June 21 and we have no garden planted. I'm so bummed. We always used to do a huge vegetable garden; lots of heirloom tomatoes, etc., but since baby, it just hasn't happened the last few years. I am also trying to get my spark and motivation back. I started to finally clean off the back porch earlier, but the rain put a stop to that. With my stepson here for the next couple months, I can't look like too much of a lazy ass. Unfortunately, I feel like I got more done overall when I was drinking all the time, and over the last couple weeks/months, I have been trying to get my head and body in order, rather than projects and work. Why does that feel so backwards? I am hoping that after a couple more weeks AF, things will even themselves out. I do feel better but I don't feel normal, and I am not sure I even know what normal is.

Here's to bouncing back tomorrow.

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

CS--I will send you some tomatoes, cucumbers and zucchini!!:H

Biker breakfast went well (even with me in charge!) but bikers are getting older, sleeping later, or too hungover to eat breakfast. Not a great turnout. Maybe tomorrow will be better! I should get showered and to bed, but it's only 9:30, so here I am again!

Cleaned camper today. Camping will be another test for me. Usually lots of beer consumed day and night--no worries--no driving--just relaxing by the lake! I think I can do it though--do some fishing, hiking, reading.

Take care everybody! :h

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello - and and beautiful Sunday morning it is!!!

Our thread is thin this past few days! I didn't get to post here yesterday - sorry - must greet you all today though. I was busy busy busy yesterday - had gone to bed at 11:15 friday night - big loser!!! But got up early saturday, and worked hard. Did all the prep for painting the now vacated upstairs bedroom, so I am going to put the first coat on as soon as I get off this computer and then out to the sunshine! Plus did some gardening yesterday. Exchanged a new dress I bought for an even slinkier little number which my BF can't seem to keep his hands off. We went off to the Jazz Fest in the afternoon, watched one band, left, went out for Vietnamese noodles, some errands, and returned for Sue Foley and then Los Lobos. Super fun - they played for 2 hours, and we danced danced danced, but I only brought 2 AF beer with me, and I got really thirsty!!!! I forgot my big thing of water - silly girl - I was so tempted to take some sips of BF's beer, but no!!! I didn't even had the little sampler of cider they were handling out at the liquor store!! (but did buy a 6-pack for my running club to try, for all those who are not fond of beer!!!) We stayed up until 2 am though - those ratty 16 yo boys didn't come home until I don't know when! I got up for a pee at 4:40 and still no boys. We will ask them separately what time they came home and see what lies they will come up with (because believe me, lied they will!!!)

CS - my cravings for wine are not hormonal - I had just finished with all that. But, the Kudzu is from the site here, and taking that and the L-glut has helped I think. Not quite as concerned any more. I upped my Topa today to 100mg too, but I think that is as high as I want to go with it. No real side effects yet, and I can only assume it has been what has helped me stay AF this month. Life is good. And don't worry about the garden and the work projects. They can wait. There is always work to do. Go to the farmer's market for veggies. Get your stepson to help you with some projects maybe. Tell you need him for motivation - get him involved or something!!

LVT - you can relax, now that the VBS is over. And Biker Breakfast - would have liked to see that!!! When are you going camping? Can you remind me, where you are in AF day??? I was trying to place your progress in the whole grand scheme of things!

FreshHope = Day6?? How are you doing?
Rusty? Are you doing well on day22?? Holding on?? Just 8 days to go until you reach day30!!!
Larisa - where are you??
Thankful - I hope you have a beautiful, relaxing sunday afternoon!
NTC - yoga queen! How you been keepin'?
Loppy - oh loopy one!!! I'm kinda missing you! I trust you are carrying on with life, doing good!

OK - I'm off to paint a bedroom, then to catch a few more rays! Then I'm going to see Pink Martini tonight - should be interesting!! But I think I have to lay off the AF beer for a bit. I may be having a bit of allergic reaction to them - some rash coming up on my neck. Hmm......

oxoxoxoxo Peanut

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi LVT and everyone,
I will be awaiting your veggies come late July/August! The Cornhusker State is Iowa, right? so they shouldn't have too far to travel to Ohio.

DId you have bacon at the breakfast? The smell of bacon should drag anyone out of bed, hungover or not --- all that grease absorbs the alcohol. lol

It is hard to change those traditions around relaxation, isn't it. (camping/drinking, sitting on porch/drinking, enjoying dinner/drinking.....) I am already wishing for a Sunday afternoon beer and it's only 1:30. Not that I would drink one now, but I would later....There are AF beers in the fridge though so that will help. Peanut, you mentioned O'Doul's Amber -- I have bought Kaliber (made by Guinness) and now Buckler, from Heineken. I liked the Kaliber better I think. Hope you got thru the jazz fest and those urges from a few days ago.

I heard from Jessie on another thread, and she backed out at day 13 or something like that.

More rain expected later, so going to try to get a bit of yard work done. May try to plant some herbs, which I have also always enjoyed -- maybe then I won't feel so guilty. Happy Sunday, and will be glad when June is over. Speaking of over, I finished the Allan Carr book -- has anyone read it or care to discuss?

Later guys -- CS

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

CS - cross posted.
I've never read any of the books anybody has mentioned on this site (except Roberta's, of course). Maybe i will go to the library and get Allan Carr's out - do you recommend it??? It wouldn't hurt to do a little more reading on the subject, yes?? We can have a little virtual book club then, hey??
Peanut

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Books

Peanut, one of my favorites is "Drinking: A Love Story" by Caroline Knapp. Esp. if you are a wine drinker, which i know you are, much of it will ring true. I have read it several times;even have phrases that I've memorized. She was an excellent writer. Allen Carr is OK; his schtick is that AL is poison; why would you put poison into your body, therefore no willpower is necessary because you wouldn't need willpower to drink bathroom cleaner, for example.

Already raining, so so much for yard work. I even had to pull my laundry in from the clothesline!