Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[Larisa]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Yeah, I used to drink after meetings to relax. I actually enjoy meetings, it's not that - I'm just not a very social person, so I have to keep my good behavior mask on in meetings. Then I got to go home and take it off, have a gallon of wine, and go "aaahhhhh."

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

How do I quote from a previous post? I want to comment on something Wonderworld said.

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

CS go to the post you want to quote and click the little blue quote button in the lower right corner.

ww xox

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[QUOTE=wonderworld;355986] If I'm ingesting something that by its very definition weakens my inhibitions and instantly relaxes my vigilance in general, then who's keeping an eye out? Both then, and next day?
I][/I]

This makes a lot of sense to me. However, this may doom moderation. I was so scared of tryiong a 30; thought I couldn't do it. Then I slipped at 14, but jumped right back on the wagon. I keep feeling this confusion over who I am --as a non-drinker? as a drinker? Much like Kimberley discussed on her thread, but I haven't been sober consistetly enough. I felt like shit (depressed) for much of time, too -- moody and awful. Maybe I am making too big of a deal about all of this. I have been spending a lot of time on MWO, and trying to get my head to gether, and it feels like I never will.

(WW, I had to delete the rest of your above post and keep the part I wanted to quote. Is that how to do it?)

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

yeah you got it. maybe just deleted an extra doo-dad or something which makes the fancy grey box disappear.

okay. YOU ARE DEPRESSING YOURSELF. You're thinking yourself into a migraine! There is NO NEED to worry about "life". 30 DAYS AF is the short term goal. TODAY is the ONLY ISSUE. PERIOD. Please have mercy on poor CS!!!

The 30 days is not a 'punishment', a 'rule', a measure of your value as a human being, a stick to beat yourself over the head with. It's the place to start. Hands down. No matter what. And it's freedom. Freedom not to worry about forever. And it's the foundation of the MWO program, mods or abs. I think something in your head is trying to negotiate that. so STEP AWAY FROM THE SCARY THOUGHTS. Focus on today. Go for 30. Simple. Not easy. But simple.

Your friend,

ww xox

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

and p.s. I know you can do it and we are all with you!

Annoyingly positive, ww xox

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

I thought I was on my way. I am pretty sure I can do it; maybe it's a question of "when." thanks for your words of support. I know there's not a quick fix; even 30 isn't enough.

[Ripple]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

nope 30 is not enough....thats why i am staying off sauce. cuz, i know i need time out for a long time. tho shall remain free until further notice. i'll bite my toe nails off before i drink. really. :H

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

BUT..... 30 is enough for now, don't you think?

WW - I like the way you put all that in your last post. Go for 30. Simple. Not easy. But simple.

I know when I finally decided to go for 30, that was just it. I decided, and no matter how the committee argued, I was the CEO at the table, and just said NO - they finally stopped coming around. The debate stopped, there was no more wondering should I, or shouldn't I, I just didn't. And you know? It really wasn't that bad!!!

They are back of course, and we'll see what happens next!! Keep youposted!
Peanut

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

I think part of my 'lack of resolve" has been being around people who I'm used to drinking in front of. Not drinking buddies, per se. But my diet analogy of several weeks ago -- if no one knows you're on a diet, then go ahead and have the cheeseburger. When I opened the wine the other night, 17 yo stepson still hadn't noticed (after 5 days) that I wasn't drinking. I Am not blaming anyone. If no one knows I'm trying, then I don't have to try. (stupid logic) Until of course I have to answer to myself.

Peanut, how is The Committee doing? Happy Canada Day (belated) btw!

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Thanks CS,

The Committee. I just love that way of looking at things. It was Gelgit who first described the old argument with AL in your head as "the committee" and since then, that is how I picture it. It is like these blustery men (always men for some reason, and all smaller than me), in suits, coming into a board room, talking away, with their clip boards, not paying a lick of attention to me and what I have to say, and this one little wine-rep, who happens to be a petite woman in a little business suit who is very quiet and timid and doesn't say much. I have to finally yell at the men and kick them out, and they scurry away like little mice - funny. But I do wonder about that timid little wine-rep - maybe that is the scared me, the one who is afraid of that first glass of wine, afraid of my ability to drink one or two glasses without going on a bender - hmmmmm..... food for thought....

Peanut

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Thanks Peanut for putting that extremely weird image in my head!!:H
Boy do you have a vivid imagination!

CS--hang in there! ODAT! The longer you go, the easier it becomes, you'll see. We all need to do this for ourselves, it's how WE feel about it whether anyone is watching or not.

I was thinking today about how everyone is always so happy and supportive and never questions you when you quit smoking. But tell someone you quit drinking and they look at you like you've gone mad!! Even people that don't drink--try to enjoy it, or act like they feel bad because they don't. Next time someone asks me why I quit drinking--I'm going to just say
"WHY NOT!"???
:H

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

knock knock!! Helloooooooooooo !!!
How's everyone doing? Did I scare everyone away? LOL!! Please no.
Everyone okay? Gearing up for the 4th?
would love to hear.......
WW xox

[Pamina]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Happy 4th to all Americans!!

Hi folks, excuse the interloping on your thread but I just wanted to put out an APB on Loppy since I know this is her 'home' thread. She's gone AWOL from the daily abs. Which is a massive problem because she shouts out the morning weather report in London so I know what's happening before stepping out the door. Now I don't know what to wear. She could, of course, be busy at work, on holiday or living her real life (don't you just hate it when people do that!!!). Alternatively, she could be in a not-so-happy-place and decided not to post. Lops, you know AL is like Tippex - when you remove the white-out, all sorts of things emerge, the good, the bad and the ugly. We might not be able to help but we'll be good company. Give it a go!

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Thanks Pamina!

We've all been anxiously awaiting Loppy's report on the ball, and have been wondering where she has gone to. So please, Loppy if you're out there, let us know how you are feeling, good or bad, happy or sad, ok?

Another one who has gone AWOL is NTC - went away for a weekend holiday to Canada and hasn't been heard of since. I'm sure she's busy and all, but I'd really like to just hear from her, see how things are going, AL or no AL.

I, by the way, drank some wine last night. Hmmmm.. I am on holiday today... So much for my "no drinking on work nights" and making all works nights and week nights the same during the summer months. It was interesting, I still love the wine, I'm fine today and up and raring to go to get all these jobs done I need to get done before my house heat up, and don't feel badly. This is my month to attempt to mod, so now I shall have an AF day today - I will probably have to join the ODAT thread with Bessie and that gang, hang with them for a while, eh?

Alright everybody - have a fabulous friday and Happy Fourth of July to all you Americans out there!!
xoxoxo Peanut