Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Good morning - or rather, afternoon,

Raking in my flower bed - I'm not sure what I have for perennials surviving the winter yet, as it has only recently started to warm up!!!

Day 7AF - feeling good - rather goofy though, I've decided I'm a night owl, with or without AL. Was up again until 2:30am last night. So despite my desire to get up early on these AF weekends, that part is not working out!! I make up for it by working late into the evenings. I think I finished moving heavy furniture and stuff in my basement about midnight last night!!

Loppy - Sounds like the meet in the UK was fun! How interesting. Were there picture taken?? I'd love to see what you all look like - at least some of the UK gang.

Ollie - were the eggs benny as yummy as anticipated??
LVT and Wooflet - haven't heard from you in a little bit!
How were the BBQ/social events this weekend?? Did everybody stick to their plans??

It is a long weekend up here in Canader (Victoria Day tomorrow, to let all you UKers know!) - so I have another night to contend with which is not a work night, therefore, I shall take it as it comes. I still have that 3/4 bottle of white in my fridge, and every morning I say that I might drink it that night, but every night I have managed to say nah! don't need that!! But I must confess I've been enjoying the AF beer - something about spring and gardening and hot sun and all that which makes me want cold beer, and the AF beer is perfectly fine with me!

Alright, back to the garden.... and basement.... and grocery shopping....
Too much to do!
xoxo Peanut

[ntcentral]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

A battle was lost but the war rages on....

Hi all, I'm back from Nashville. Well, I tried, I really did. The first night we arrived at the hotel at about 4:30 and I immediately was overwhelmed with agitation. I started popping naltrexone pills like they were Tic-Tacs, thinking they would counteract the cravings. (I read somewhere that you can't overdose on them and I'm banking on the veracity of that report). I think I was feeling like this because I had built this vacation up in my mind as a testing point--if I could make it through the 25th anniversary, I was indeed over the hump. I made it that first night. We did some shopping at a nearby outlet mall, where I bought a ton of running clothes at the Nike outlet store. I don't run....but I started thinking that if I took up running I would nullify this agitation. The next night--the anniversary night--I skipped my husband's wine reception with his conference and instead went to a yoga class held in the hotel. Woo-hoo, you-go-girl, yeah-yeah-yeah!!! I did the RIGHT thing, right??? If only the night had ended then and there. Our dinner reservation was at 8:00. You would have thought I could have made it having made it until 8. Well, a bottle of wine later (my husband had already had his fill at the reception) and a nightcap---it was pink, but I can't remember what it was called---and my best intentions of making it to day 29 were washed away. It was a pretty terrific bottle of wine (sigh).

What happened? I surely don't know, other than it just didn't feel like a celebration without AL. The good news is that I'm back on the wagon, and now am on Day 3. And I have this running gear, so maybe I'm going to have to start trotting around the neighborhood (?) If there is an upside to this story, it's this: I've certainly had worse nights than a bottle of wine and one nightcap. It could have been worse...... .But this experience has made me realize how fragile my recovery process is. I had a huge craving yesterday (Day 2, redux), not so much tonight. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

I never corresponded with Bear, but am saddened by his passing. He seems like he was a such a good soul. My thoughts and prayers are with his family.

Good Monday to all tomorrow, NTC

[srand]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

getting started

Hi, I am so glad to be here. I have ordered the supplements, CD's, kudzu. Worked for awhile. Now I am back to drinking. I have ordered the topirimate and pray that it will do the trick. I have been drinking almost every night for ten years, since the empty nest came. I am a well educated woman, very spiritual, love people, am a retired teacher. I am so frustrated with the drinking that I could die. Live in a small town where everyone would know if I went to AA. My husband has been sober for two years, so I know all about the disease, treatment, etc. Did the topirimate make a big difference for anyone? I just do great all day, but about 3:00 I begin thinking about the cocktail hour. I could really use some advice. Thanks, susu

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello everyone and welcome srand!

The only advice I can think of right now that helped me was to change up my routine in the evenings. Instead of having a drink of al, I started drinking tomato juice, or a lot of iced tea or anything else. I also spent a lot of time on the computer in the evenings. Some other stuff just didn't get done, meals weren't too interesting, but it works for me.

Glad my hectic, kid projects filled weekend is over. Now maybe I can get my garden planted and everything else I need to do done. The weather has turned warm, and some of the activities of the weekend could have triggered a well deserved 12 pack! But, I managed to get through without! I totally blew my "diet" though. I tend to get bored with eating right all of the time--especially if I don't see results. Last night my son grilled some fantastic steak, but I did have it with fresh spinach! (please don't hate me cause I eat meat!)
nt--stop beating yourself up! Doesn't it kind of ruin the "moment" by worrying so much? I guess that's why I don't commit to being af. I tend to obsess about things I "can't" have!

Have a great day/week all!!

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Morning!!
No work today, thankfully! - just more yard work and the drinking/running club. But I shall not imbibe - I finally broke down and drank that wine last night. Feel ok today, but looking at things rather scientifically (that's what I do!!). I came to realize last night that I don't particularly like the way AL makes me feel - physically. I was very tired, having been EXTREMELY productive all day and ended with a swim - so it probably wasn't a good idea to drink it! Ah well, wasn't drunken anyway, and was in bed before 1am. I think I have to classify this a Modster May rather than an AF May - hey - I'm good with that!!

Welcome susu! Familiar story - I have one kid left at home, plus my beau's - so that's two 16yo now - my girls are gone. Since they are independent, it really frees one up to do whatever you want - no more running about, driving kids, picking up, helping with homework, etc. More time for drinking!! Kind of hard to get over though. I have managed now two streaks of 7 days of non-drinking, which isn't exactly an ALfree May,but better than my previous litre of wine a day (or more). It took a hell of alot of willpower for me to achieve just that!!! Just use your inner strength - be stubborn. I am not sure about the Topa, as I have opted to do without it, but apparently it works (?). Maybe post on the Topa and meds threads, or the Just Starting Out, start a new thread, and you will receive lots of replies. Good luck with the program - and keep posting and reading and all this will help!

NT - welcome back. Did you have some fun - hear some music??? Don't worry about wine and nightcap. I think 28days is fabulous!!!! Good for you!! What's in a number, eh?? I am always focussing on the number of days that it drives me crazy. It seems that I have never had drinking on my mind as much as I have this past few weeks - I obsess about it, until I finally give in and have some. But like you, I shall get back up on that wagon and put in another AF stretch. My Mantra: No Drinking on Work Nights! I am really going to try and stick with that!! (what the heck is going to happen to me when I am on holidays?? yeesh - don't even want to consider that!)

LVT - I had steak last night too!!! Just a small piece, as I have manage to stick to my diet. In fact, I only at some spaghetti squash and a bit of sauce yesterday and realized by 4pm that I was absolutely starving and went on a Sushi hunt - couldn't find any in this little city!! The Sushi restaurant was closed for renos, the grocery store were out, and I didn't want to take the time to go to an actual Japanese restaurant! I do believe the acupunture in the ear has helped me with this incredibly - but last night, I lost the earpatches at the pool - they stayed on almost a week though which is not bad considering the swimming I do. I must call him first thing in the am and get some more put in - I do believe this works!

I hope everyone else on this thread is having success in all that they set their minds to. Have a fabulous AF day - will check on you all later! Off to get some more work done - or maybe back to bed for a little while instead!
xoxo Peanut

[Wooflet]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi Everyone

Sorry I've not been around for a bit. I'm going fine with the AF plan (on day 20 today, yay) but been feeling a bit "blah". Also felt that I needed to stop thinking about not drinking and "just do it", which meant staying away from here for a bit. But I feel bad 'cos it's like I'm letting the team down by not being here to share/offer support/pass it on. Have any of you felt like this?

Anyway shall read and catch up on everyone's news and then be back.

Wooflet x

[ntcentral]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all, Just checking in tonight. LVT25, thanks for the advice. You know, it was a wonderful bottle of wine I downed-so if I had to do it, I picked a good one. You're right about not beating yourself up about a slip and about just enjoying the moment. Peanut, I'm going to quit counting the days. You seem to be able to moderate on the nights you do decide to drink. Now that is indeed "fabulous!!!!"

Srand, so many of us know what you're experiencing. It seems so easy to be resolute in the morning and then evening comes, and all of your good intensions fly out the window. I'm no paragon of sobriety but I will say that if you can make it through the first 8-10 days, it does get easier, if only because it begins to have a precedent; i.e., "I didn't drink last night or the night before last, so I'm not going to drink tonight and I'll likely not drink tomorrow night." I don't know how much you are drinking every night but be forewarned, you might experience some symptoms once you stop. These might include insomnia, night sweats, anxiety, sleepiness, crabbiness, etc. The symptoms pass or at least begin to come in waves, so there is some relief. The best part is that the helplessness of not knowing how much you're going to imbibe goes away when you simply say to yourself that it's going to be nothing. Not two drinks, not one drink, not half a drink, not a sip. Nothing.

I had a minor victory tonight. I went to my book club. Ordinarily it's a drink fest with me as the chief wine queen. I told everyone that I had taken up running (after all, I now have the outfit following the trip to Nashville) and that I couldn't drink because I was in training for a half marathon (didn't mention that this would occur in my next life). I made it through the night drinking only club soda and the best part is, no one seemed to think it was unusual!

Good evening to all, NTC

[4theboyz]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Little victories *rock*! Nice job and good luck with the training NTC!

[Wooflet]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Wow, I didn't realise it's been five days since I last checked in. Please bear with me if this post gets to epic proportions...

Ollie I'm sorry you had a rough patch there, and that I wasn't around to add to the support. It is so great and inspirational that you felt that way and got through it without succumbing to Al. Don't ever apologise for "dreary" posts - they will help others who are going through similar emotions (as most of us do at some stage or another). I know I would have been daunted if I'd come on here and only read about the parts that were smooth sailing for people.

Loppy I so get what you're saying about not knowing quite how to deal with emotions now that we're not smothering them with alcohol. I think that's the biggest challenge that I will face in the coming weeks and months (hopefully not years...). Boredom, sadness, guilt, happiness, anger, loneliness, excitement, tiredness all used to be dealt with by Al - the great panacea (not). Oh and Loppy, congratulations on going to the UK MWO meet even though you felt so nervous. That is a really big deal and I'm glad it worked out so well.

wakupmom I love hearing how much you're loving life in the real world, it gives me great inspiration.

Midwestern Lady welcome and congratulations on 30 days AF. That is so awesome, I hope you're rightly very proud of yourself - Antabuse or no Antabuse, you put in the hard yards.

Peanut way to go on the swimming gains that I read about on a separate thread. I used to be a competitive swimmer so I can appreciate what those gains mean. Another great incentive to kick Al. As is having the money to spend on all those great bands coming to your town. I'm very jealous. And two streaks of 7 days AF is great - as you say a HUGE improvement on 1 litre of wine a day.

believer congratulations on the AF days - the big three-oh is coming up fast! That retail therapy sounds like a great idea.

LVT hope the garden is going well. Steak isn't all that bad for you is it? Especially not with spinach!

LindaP welcome to our thread and congratulations on those AF days. Good luck for the rest of the month.

jessie, kaddy, Frogzter, kiri hope you're all doing great.

Thankful and Kate thanks for your continued support here.

ntcentral sorry to hear about your slip-up but it's great that you have such a positive attitude about learning from the incident and moving on. You so could have carried on drinking through the weekend but you didn't. Hope those cravings have subsided now and that you're zooming around looking gorgeous in your new running gear.

srand welcome. Like LVT, I found that distracting myself at the witching hour/s really helped. The first week or two I was on here a LOT. Reading, posting, playing computer games - anything to avoid my usual routine, which meant no cooking and no watching TV, as I associate/d both with drinking. Now three weeks into it I've started reintroducing those things back into my life as the associations start to fade.

OK I think I'm sort of all caught up now. I promise to check in more regularly so my posts aren't so long and out-of-date!

Love to you all
Wooflet x

PS WW hope your project went fabulously and you're recovering well. Can't wait to hear all about it when you're well rested.

[Wooflet]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Ha ha NTC the bit about the book club cracked me up. Not the victory part of course, which is fantastic. I mean the part about the purchase of running gear amounting to you having taken up running, and the half marathon in your next life - I love it!!

Wooflet x

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello everyone!!

Yes, I think I'll run a half marathon in my next life also!! Thanks for the :H ntc!

Managed to get part of the garden planted yesterday. I just don't move as fast or as long as I did in the past. I also used to keep going and going with a little help from the beer and ciggies. Better to just call it a day, and start in again the next day! I was skeptical at first, but it IS getting easier!
So far I've planted potatoes, walla walla onions, peas, green beans, cucumbers, spaghetti squash, yellow squash and watermelon. I have a huge plot, some of the seeds were old ones, I hope they come up! I have to get some burpless cucs and zucchini seeds today. Then I'll plant my tomatoes and peppers and more green beans.
I'm not sure why I plant so much, cause I can I guess!:H
Today I'm headed to work, then Bible study, then if it's not too hot, more gardening! Might have to hire someone to clean house though!
Tomorrow is elementary track meet, then schools out Friday!

Have a great day, all!:h

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Good morning on this cool, cloudy tuesday morning!

Everybody is doing well I hope?? Wooflet -nice to hear from you again -hope you are feeling well -you are doing so well in your AF life!!! And, I finally booked some tickets for George Thorogood as the show is tomorrow night!!! You know who I would love to see, from Melbourne?? Cat Empire - I think those guys are great!!!!!

Sounds like quite the gardening weekend up here in the northern hemisphere!! Mine is all in, although I still envision several trips to the greenhouse for pretty, annual flowers to fill in my perrenial beds.

I managed not to drink yesterday at my running club - but I got so tired at the restaurant afterwards!! Amazing how drinking can keep you going, and hides the fatigue. Such a busy weekend, I was so tired last night I couldn't sit up on the computer at all, and now this morning, I am so sleepy, I could hardly wake up. I might have to close my office door and have a snooze over lunch ( I have always thought I need a big lazyboy in here - might not be room to move around though! or maybe one of those little fold-up camping cots!)

Anyway, lots of work to do here at my work place and another AF streak coming up. Will try to swim tonight too - nice to hear back from all of you ex-swimmers on the swimming thread! Alot of athletic peeps out there!!

OK - I have to call my acupuncturist to make an appt as I have lost all my ear patches now, and I truly believe they have helped me in my diet goals (although, I was sneaking french fries off everybody's plate last night to supplement my salald - naughty, naughty!!! Had a sudden craving for cheese cake too, but I resisted that one!)

Have a wonder tuesday or tues-night!
Will check in later!
Peanut
ps. I really enjoyed the Catarpillar story posted by Hippie - kind of stikes a chord!

[wakupmom]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hello all!
I too havn't posted for a few days,although i have had a read to see how we are doing.

Welcome Strand.Looks like you have got some good advise,and i can only say that you have done a great thing in coming here and reaching out.You have armed yourself with the supps which in my opinion help a lot.Hope you stay close and come back.Try to be patient with yourself.xx

Peanut you sound upbeat,glad you are feeling better.I hope you find those ear patches. xx

NTC Loved your story about the marathon.Now you have the gear there is no excuse!!.Your bottle of wine sounded lovely and i am pleased you enjoyed it.It is so easy for us to get so consumed and even obsessed with the A/F thing.Could drive you mad,Seems like you are right back on track xx

Wooflet.It was so good to read your post.i missed you,although i understand completely about your thoughts.I too am 21 days tomorrow and to be honest i don't know how i feel.Strange is probly the best way i can describe it,numb?I did however wake this morning and AL was not the first thing i thought about.It was the second!!That is a little progress.21 Days is fantastic.Keep going.xx

LVT you are a busy bee..no stopping you.I hope you won't wear yourself out.Its amasing though how productive you can be. xx

Hi to WW.Thankfull,Ollie,4theboys,and anyone else i have missed. xx

Loppy lugs,Congrats to you too on 20 days.(Glad you had a good time in London-well done for overcoming your insecurities xx)

Well guys i need to head off to bed,another day for my poor body,and mind to heal.I really am taking this ODAT.Its all we can do and every day is an achievement,whether it be consecutive or not.Its the not giving up that counts, so keep up the good work .Be back soon xxx

[ntcentral]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi all, I was experiencing a serious craving this afternoon. I ate a box of chocolate covered toffee, then a plate of lasagna with my family, and then went to a yoga class. Of course, tonight of all nights, the yoga instructor decides we'll do several instantiations of headstand......hello lasagna, hello toffee.

Wooflet, I love reading your posts, Your encouragement and advice to all of us is always so on target. LVT25, the garden sounds terrific. I imagine you get great satisfaction from watching things progress from seeds to plants to dinner. Your vegetables should taste better than ever when you eat them AF. I've noticed that my taste buds are becoming more discriminating with every passing day of abstinance. Wakeupmom, hang in there with ODAT. Hello to everyone else, I hope each and everyone of you notched another day in your belt.

re: running......I guess I had better be quiet or next thing you know, I'll be standing at a starting line with a number pinned on my chest.

[Kiri]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hey all, just checkin in. I am finishing day 28 and feel wonderful. Had a "panicky feeling" last night that was helped by the hypnosis tape. Feel fine today. Getting lots of stuff done. Best to all
K