Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

[Larisa]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

WW, you are so great - how do you manage to be so right and so darn nice to everyone at the same time??? Are you a shrink, or a preacher, or a zen master, or something?

I'm on day 28. No soul-searching for me on this particular issue - I can't moderate, so I'm going for another 30, and then another, hopefully on and on like that. Again, one or two drinks would do nothing but piss me off - I have no use for it whatsoever. Sad, but at least I've learned that about myself by now!

I'm so excited for all of us here, whether we're coming up on 30, starting over, who cares? We're on our way to healthier every day.

[Peanut]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

30 days at last

Monday morning - all quiet! Holiday here in Canada tomorrow, so alot of people taking the day off for an extra long weekend. Too darn hot at my house, so I may as well be at work where it is much, much cooler!!!!

Well, I can hardly believe it, but RUSTY, LVT and MYSELF are on DAY30 AF TODAY!!!!! Now, isn't that GRAND!!!!!! And, you know - it really wasn't that bad!!!!:H

Benefits: I am a much better sleeper than I was a couple months ago when I first started on this new life, I am thinner, I don't reek of wine, my stomach doesn't hurt and my lungs are much clearer, my eye doesn't twitch anymore, the vertigo is minimal, I am in better physical shape, and I am a MUCH better designated driver! Ha!

Welcome 1967 - life can only get better coming to this place!!!

Ripple - good for you not peeing you pants!!!! Day 14 or 15 today? Keep on truckin' honey!

FreshHope - I'm going to try the sugar-avoidance thing. I've had a terrible sweet tooth lately. Plus, I seem to have hit a plateau in my weight loss - I hate that!!!! Makes me want to give up. And about the hash runs - I explained a while back when CS04 asked about it, back on page 42 of this thread. It is a running group, the "drinking club with the running problem" - super fun. We had a big run in the country on saturday - my legs are totally scratched up from running through brambly bushes - and there were several very loaded people, whom I drove back to the city - interesting watching all these people, who actually I was responsible for getting drunk in the first place as I was the one who made the really strong sangria!!!! (I, by the way, used up some AF red wine and made some AF sangria for myself - not too bad,I must say!!)

Jessie - nice to hear from you. So, I take it an AF July is in store for you??? Best of luck to you - hope to hear from you lots!

Larisa - 30 is just around the corner!!!
NTC and Loppy - I think we need stories from you!!

WonderWorld - thanks so much for your input. You really are inspiring. I am still in a quandry of course. I do know on thing for sure - I am going to stay AF during the week - I think if I stick with my "no drinking on work nights" that will help alot. As for weekends, I think it will be ODAT for me. I will give it a try, see what happens in July, and if things go awry, go poorly for me, then I will have to reassess, and see if total abstenance is better for me as opposed to moderation. If I don't try, then I will never know! I am sticking with the Topa for a while yet, so that might help. But like I said, I still am scared to have that first glass of wine, and who knows when that will happen - definitely not July 1 - that's for sure, because I am going to work July 2 (I've already decided!).

Alright already - get to work!!!!!!!!]
xoxoxoxo
love you guys!!!!!
Peanut

[Nia70]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Wonderworld, what a lovely inspiring post :thanks:

Im only on day 9 here but I already want to go AF for the rest of my life! Its a bizarre thought and Im struggling with how to tell people as I never openly admitted to anyone that I had a problem with Alcohol.

Forcing myself to admit to it myself was hard thing enough, but Im pleased I found a place I could do it.

Best regards to everyone :l

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi again, everyone.
Still confused. I don't really want to try another 30 at this point. Perhaps I should mod (well, I KNOW I should mod) or ODAT. I also know that as hard as 30 is, there's a voice in my head that says that's really not enough. I just feel a little lost. Not the despair and fear that I felt before embarking on MWO, but I have not achieved the clarity that i've been looking for, and that is a little disconcerting to me. I also did not sleep well again last night.

I am tempted to post these thoughts on the regular board, but I don't want to be told (again) that I need to be brutally honest with myself about drinking.

But I don't mean to go on about me. Peanut, LVT and Rusty -- Big congrats on your 30 days! What an achievement! peanut and Rusty, enjoy your holiday, and we'll have ours later in the week.
Nia, welcome and glad you're doing well at Day 9. get plenty of rest!
NTC, we hope you're still out there somewhere.

I appreciate your support -- I am floundering a bit.

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi again from me too -

CS04 - You know, sometimes when I share about how positive my AF experience has been, I worry about the fact that some people reading will not have the same experience, or at least, not in the same time frame. In our group, we had a couple of people who really felt like crap for a good while. 30 days was not "out of the weeds" for me at all either, and the only difference between us is that I was sure drinking was a bad idea. But I was far from being at peace about it.

I have a question - what's the difference between ODAT and moderating?

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hey Nia!!!! Nice to meet you. 9 days is WAY cool.

Larisa you're too funny. I'm not a shrink, but I've spent my time on the couch, trust me. I'm not a Zen master, but I am a Buddhist and a meditator and I've spent my time on the cushion, trust me. A preacher? Well, I try to control myself, but even I know my posts can get a little, um, wordy ....... trust me! LOL!!!

Truth is I just despise what AL does to those of us who battle and if ANYONE wants to kick his ass I'll help. I don't judge anyone who drinks or alcohol in general - if moderating felt right to me and it worked and I had something to share about it, I would. But the slimy life-stealer AL is to people like me, well, it just peeves me. Blah!!!!

Oh, and I had a bunch of years in AA, which can make one very chatty about "issues" I think LOL !!!

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

HI Peanut!! (I'm reading backwards......)

I hear what you mean about "you'll never know" unless you try drinking again. I can't help but worry for you, but I understand. This is a HUGE issue, and in my case a lifelong, um, topic of study. Just be careful, and keep communicating about what's happening.


And hey there '67!!!!


And..... EXCUSE ME..... but ....... WOO HOO!!!!!!!


]Congratulaltions to Rusty, LVT and Peanut!!!!!
THIR-TEE DAYS!!!!!
YAY!!!!

:wd::happy::yay::applaud::yougo::cheering

[CS04]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

WW, I guess ODAT and moderating are the same thing. However, the idea of moderating seems to have more of a plan in mind? Or maybe I haven't figured it out yet. Duh.

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

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]YouTube - Happy Happy Joy Joy[/ame]

Yay for us!! I thought it would feel different. I guess I'm happier about the fact that I quit smoking 4 months ago (with 3 slips--last slip 30 days ago!):goodjob:

Thank you WW and everyone else for the kudos and all the support and encouragement and sharing!!

For me ODAT means I'm not going to worry about whether or when I'm going to drink again or not. Frankly when I started here I was pretty noncommittal about even trying 30 days--no way! Fortunately no big social occasions in June--but plenty of other usual triggers and times I used to drink. Honestly if I can't light up when I drink--why drink? It just makes me WANT to light up. And right now, today, i don't feel like doing either. I mean, I feel so much better, have more energy and motivation--no hangovers! Like I told a friend today, it has been a long time (since I was pregnant 10 years ago) since I could say I've gone 30 days without any alcohol.

We went camping, and it was so weird--no one was drinking (except my hubby)! The cops were cracking down, but none of my drinking buddies were drinking, AND one has quit smoking and 2 are in the process!! It was just weird (in a good way!) Stayed awake long enough to put the campfire out, kids to bed, woke up with no headache or the runs! (sorry)
Anyway, you get the idea. I tried to drink an AF beer, cause the kids begged me to open it so they could have a sip (they had never heard or seen such a thing) :H. My diet pop was just better.

Enough for now. I guess I'll come back here tomorrow, I like it here, okay??:h

[jessie]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Good morning - day 4 for me and feeling better and less " thirsty" then the previous 3. I grated myself an raw apple and beetroot for breakfast and guess what, it tastes quite good. This is part of the plan that if my body is in better shape then perhaps my mind will become strong enough to shake the compulsion.
Love to you all.
Jessie

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

LVT25;355737 wrote:
For me ODAT means I'm not going to worry about whether or when I'm going to drink again or not.

And right now, today, i don't feel like doing either. I mean, I feel so much better, have more energy and motivation--no hangovers!

I hear a "cognitive dissonance" in these 2 statements! One of the reasons you feel so good is that your brain hasn't had any alcohol in 30 days! so your craving brain is continuing to get weaker by the day, your mind and body are enjoying the benefits of consecutive AF days, and alcohol isn't effecting your thinking. Once you add a drink back in, it's a very different situation, and why the multi-faceted moderating 'plan' is suggested. This is why alcohol is deadly to ME. My thinking AF is so different - my whole way of 'being" really - ask anyone who knows me! If I could somehow apply the rational powers and clarity of my AF life to drinking, well, I wouldn't be here! If I'm ingesting something that by its very definition weakens my inhibitions and instantly relaxes my vigilance in general, then who's keeping an eye out? Both then, and next day? I think the moderating plan keeps a consistent platform to support your "sober living" even if you have a drink now and then. When I read the MWO book a while back, I remember thinking that most of the book was really ABOUT moderating. Offering a program for problem drinkers who don't want to make the radical lifestyle shift of getting rid of the drink all together. But even for RJ, this was not a casual shift - to say the least!

Because of this most excellent discussion, I 've been poking around on some mods and ODAT threads, to see what it's like. It IS a very different mindset! An entirely different set of issues. I think that anyone contemplating their next steps and looking for clarity on "life after 30", should read some of those and also the MWO book, if you haven't already. This is a big decision. Know before you go.

I know this may NOT fit in with your desire to "not worry about it" LOL. And I SO understand the longing to have it be a "non-issue". This will never be the case with me I know, even if, someday, I decided to try to moderate a la MWO. The horse is out of the barn....... and the barn burned down to the ground! So I have to be very attentive and conscious about the issue of AL. For life.

Now SMOKING! I need to quit and want to. So funny - I smoke MORE when I'm AF!!! ARGH!!!!! I see some good threads on quitting smoking too. Pray for me LOL!

As far as hanging out on this thread - this discussion about transition is a good one I think, so I would be happy to personally support you here while you figure out your next steps. But the point of this thread, obviously, is to support AF 1-30, and in my experience, keeping to that is the best way to support new people coming to MWO. AND, I also think that being clear about your plan after 30 and then posting with a group who is on your same plan and at your same stage is best. In our group, we found we were cycling through some of the same changes together, and that's where the peer support leads to big growth in my my opinion. It's still happening. Some of my MWO peeps with about 6 months AF like me, are still supporting each other through common changes which are entirely different from what was happening for us days 1-30.

And you could always start a new thread. Duh, I know. But if there are a couple or a few here who know each other and want to try moderating together, you could just keep going together in this way and explore the new world of moderating together.

off to read a little more........

WW xox

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hi Jessie! Day 4!!! nice!! Your breakfast sounded yummy. Days 4/5 were rough for me, then a little coasting, then day 9/10 another rough spot, but followed by a big uplift to the whole situation. Keep posting! and tell us what's going on. What's the time diff. for us to where you are? (I so love the international aspect of MWO!).

And.....speaking of time zones........ one of these days we can all pick a time and meet in chat! That would be awesome. The "thread party" in chat is one of my favorite MWO activities and a great way to talk, goof around, or just let off steam.

'67 - how you doing? What's your day looking like?

Where's Nia?!?! NIA!! Oh NIA !!!!!

CS - How's your thinking process on Days 31 + going? Any new thoughts?

Love to all! See you a little later........

WW xox

[Fresh Hope]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

so stuck at day 3 AF

I hear a "cognitive dissonance" in these 2 statements! ... Great post WW, thank you.

I am not sure where I belong, maybe some other mod type thread. Had 2 glasses of wine last night so back to day 1...felt a bit foggy this am and it definitely wasn?t worth it, but don?t seem to be able to get past at day 3-4 AF.

Before I could get to day 3 AF never kept track of all the day 2 AFs, so I guess this is progress?

Definitely dazed and a bit down , no where to go but up ! LOL
Happy Canada Day!

[wonderworld]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

Hey Fresh - You know, every time I drank on MWO after not wanting to, I learned. First of all, it took forever to get past the idea that when I'm AF I'm "good" and when I drink I'm "bad". According to who? It's counter-productive. Guilt, shame and the perception of such 'rules' make me want to drink more. You're here boldly facing this issue and being honest about it. You have nothing, absolutley nothing, to be ahsamed of.

IF I REALLY break it down, I think the reason I have been able to get to these AF months, and the reason this is the most "quality" AF time I've ever had, is because MWO gave me a safe, non-judgmental place to examine my drinking, drinking patterns, triggers, aftermath. I mean, I never had the opportunity to get this much perspective on the situation.The times that I 'slipped' were very, um, illuminating, even if my number of AF days didn't show the awareness on the surface.

If you want to keep trying for 30, then just keep going. I know - easy for me to say. But there are SO SO SO many people here who were in your shoes for a long time, and thought it would never "work" for them either. What they always say - 'Never Give Up'.

So if today is day 1, so be it! Day 1 is a HUGE improvement over day Zero (which MILLIONS never get past), and my guess is that you know alot more about your situation now than when you first got here. Even if it's that your pattern is to get stuck on Day 3.

So, today is Tuesday. Day 1. That makes Thursday day 3. Do you work or are you a home maker? When that day 3 comes, what's the pattern? Where does the drink come from? Is it a " stop at the liquor store on the way home from work" kind of thing, or something else? What can you do to plan your Thursday so that you will be totally supported ....... and maybe nicely distracted? YOU CAN DO IT. Don't let that illusive day 3 bully you right out the AF door, if that's not okay with you. You've got all of US to help bully right back. Blah! The more you talk, specifically, about the triggers and patterns and break them down, the weaker the grip.

GO FOR IT FRESH!!!! With you all the way-

WW xox

[LVT25]

Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living

WW--I had to go look up "cognitive dissonance" the "diss" part had me worried!!:H

Yeah, reading my post again--you're right. It didn't really come out the way I was thinking it though. More of "I'm not going to spend energy worrying about it today" type situation???

I think I'll try really hard to listen to my sober-brain and just say no. I might just drink some AF beer which I think tastes like shit--but maybe with enough tomato juice it will be ok. Or maybe not. Family reunion on the 4th.

Thank you so much for your input--when I started this whole program --and the reason I started was for moderation--that is what the book is about. But I feel so good now, I don't want to blow it. Yeah--cognitive dissonance.

:h

I'll be on the 30 to 60 day thread now!:l