Days 1-30: Hello Sober Living
Hi all, I am new to this forum and to this thread, have enjoyed reading the thread... Still just learning my way around this whole forum. Today will be day 3 AF after 2 or 3 years of increasingly bad drinking (esp. during the past 9 awful months).
Interesting thoughts you have all posted about mental approaches, goals, ODAT, or choosing 30 days AF as a goal...
I did 3 years in AA years ago, and it was a great experience for me. However, toward the end of the three years, I was feeling confined by some of the dogma, and it began to feel like a bit of an oppressive religion to me... a religion with some teachings that I did not believe were accurate, but that were preached as if they were essential for "recovery." I ended up dropping out, and then, after a while (without the support of the group, of course) I decided, hey, it's OK to start drinking again...
ODAT is a great approach and has worked well for many, many people... and setting a goal such as 30 days can also be incredibly inspiring and helpful... The point being, I think, that any kind of approach or plan can be sabotaged by our scheming, rationalizing minds. It isn't the approach itself that is right or wrong... it is that our minds are so skillful at finding ways to sabotage the well-intentioned effort to change deeply established behavioral patterns.
p.s., I originally called myself "Jez" but changed it to "Work in Progress."
The key, for me, is to recognize and name what is going on inside my head. To take a step back and observe the operations of my own mind, as they promote an agenda that the healthiest aspect of me does NOT want to continue. When I take a step back from the stuff I am hearing inside my head, that stuff becomes less powerful and persuasive. We can do that on our own, and/or with journaling, or, even better, by talking to someone who is supportive and who understands this struggle...
Someone once gave me a wonderful mental image that I have used a lot. It was in the context of sitting meditation: while sitting still on the meditation cushion, we often have an impulse to move around, or scratch an itch, whatever. The standard instruction is just to gently observe the impulse itself, instead of (necessarily) giving in to it. And then, what we will find is that the mind "sends in its lawyers, offering several persuasive arguments as to why it is important, even essential to scratch that itch." I love that image. My own mind/brain (esp. the part of my mind/brain that is in love with alcohol) has an excellent team of lawyers. The thing we want to practice is to see them (the arguments our mind produces) for what they are (really just tricks our minds are playing, because the brain WANTS SOME ALCOHOL), and not to believe everything that they say.
Hi all, I am new to this forum and to this thread, have enjoyed reading the thread... Still just learning my way around this whole forum. Today will be day 3 AF after 2 or 3 years of increasingly bad drinking (esp. during the past 9 awful months).
Interesting thoughts you have all posted about mental approaches, goals, ODAT, or choosing 30 days AF as a goal...
I did 3 years in AA years ago, and it was a great experience for me. However, toward the end of the three years, I was feeling confined by some of the dogma, and it began to feel like a bit of an oppressive religion to me... a religion with some teachings that I did not believe were accurate, but that were preached as if they were essential for "recovery." I ended up dropping out, and then, after a while (without the support of the group, of course) I decided, hey, it's OK to start drinking again...
ODAT is a great approach and has worked well for many, many people... and setting a goal such as 30 days can also be incredibly inspiring and helpful... The point being, I think, that any kind of approach or plan can be sabotaged by our scheming, rationalizing minds. It isn't the approach itself that is right or wrong... it is that our minds are so skillful at finding ways to sabotage the well-intentioned effort to change deeply established behavioral patterns.
p.s., I originally called myself "Jez" but changed it to "Work in Progress."
The key, for me, is to recognize and name what is going on inside my head. To take a step back and observe the operations of my own mind, as they promote an agenda that the healthiest aspect of me does NOT want to continue. When I take a step back from the stuff I am hearing inside my head, that stuff becomes less powerful and persuasive. We can do that on our own, and/or with journaling, or, even better, by talking to someone who is supportive and who understands this struggle...
Someone once gave me a wonderful mental image that I have used a lot. It was in the context of sitting meditation: while sitting still on the meditation cushion, we often have an impulse to move around, or scratch an itch, whatever. The standard instruction is just to gently observe the impulse itself, instead of (necessarily) giving in to it. And then, what we will find is that the mind "sends in its lawyers, offering several persuasive arguments as to why it is important, even essential to scratch that itch." I love that image. My own mind/brain (esp. the part of my mind/brain that is in love with alcohol) has an excellent team of lawyers. The thing we want to practice is to see them (the arguments our mind produces) for what they are (really just tricks our minds are playing, because the brain WANTS SOME ALCOHOL), and not to believe everything that they say.
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