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Ugh I hate the blues!

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    #1

    Ugh I hate the blues!

    Well so far so good today. I have not wanted to drink. But that is usally easy the first day. I am too tired an guilt ridden to want a drink. I always feel guilty about drinking but when I get caught...Than I really get depressed and feel super guilty and like a jerk. So I am battling that right now. I just had triple chocolate ice cream. It didn't help. I was going to make a little goal for myself of going AF until my husband leaves town (and while he is gone of course) at the end of May, but I think I will just work on today. (let's not get crazy right?
    Ok grabbin a coffee now since I was up ALL night! Anyone else have that? Once you wake up from your drunkeness in the middle of the night you can't go back to sleep?
    One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.
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    #2
    Ugh I hate the blues!

    twinsmommy;319961 wrote:
    Ok grabbin a coffee now since I was up ALL night! Anyone else have that? Once you wake up from your drunkeness in the middle of the night you can't go back to sleep?
    Yep - most definitely! I would also get up from being so dehydrated and pound back a litre of milk! :H I don't miss it! All the best. :l

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      #3
      Ugh I hate the blues!

      Dear TwinsMommy,

      All is familiar, the getting caught, guilt....having the first AF day and it sucking....! Just take it one day at a time, it is much easier looking at it that way than trying to see the whole picture.

      It does get better and easier as the days stack up but then look out there are a few days later on the wallop you while you are going AF! So just be prepared for them and let them pass with some little pampering of yourself, the triple chocolate ice cream can't hurt all though some say the sugar is bad...(I still keep going with my sugar and caffeine, all in good time I say)... and the good feeling with AF will come back again!

      Take care, I am right here with you! The Supps and All one really do help! I have not tried the CD's for awhile, maybe I should get those back out!

      Hugs and Best Wishes,
      Bambi
      "When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable." -- Walt Disney

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        #4
        Ugh I hate the blues!

        TM
        I can completely empathize. I am queen of passing out, waking up and panicking. I convince myself I have done unspeakable, horrible things which my friends think is bazarre bc I am a sensitive, gentle person. I feel guilty, dirty and my mind becomes a broken record. I was in this state when I finally gained the courage to join MWO and guess what....I found out I wasn't alone. I still can't believe how fortunate we all are to have found each other and have this amazing support system. I have struggled for over 20 years and feel like I can really do it this time. Reading the threads offers comfort I have never known and gives me courage to keep moving forward- moment by moment, day by day.

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          #5
          Ugh I hate the blues!

          P.S. Alcohol disturbs your sleep cycle and throws your body chemically out of wack- let alone personal baggage and demons that we all struggle with that keep us awake at night. I am all too familiar with how this feels but I can tell you, your body really is just playing tricks on you and it screws with your head! Hang in there- we are resiliant creatures. YOU WILL FEEL GOOD AGAIN!!! YOU ARE NOT ALONE EVEN IN YOUR DARKEST HOUR!!

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