I'm a BIG Failure...

[sweet]

God, I was doing so well. I had 10 days AF. Then I fell off the wagon on Sat. Feel really bad about my set back. Back on the supps(never got off em) but bummed out at myself. I'll just keep forging ahead. I tell ya, these vitamins and stuff really do make you feel better! Hope you all did better than I this weekend:upset:

[LVT25]

I'm a BIG Failure...

You're NOT a failure--you know that right? No harm as long as you keep trying and learn from your mistakes.

[bestlifeldms]

I'm a BIG Failure...

Sweet! Here's a hug! :l You're not a failure. Like I said in an earlier post, I could be the poster child for starting over, and try, try, again. What ever it takes!

Think about what happened to trigger you! Then you can start to recognize and decide what tools you need to keep AL (the beast) away! I had a huge trigger on saturday. It feels so great to be able to back away and be objective. When others know that you drink, they can take advantage of that. It's called triangling. It seems that no matter what the circumstances that start a bad situation, when I would drink, the whole focus afterward would be on my drinking, not on the acutual issue that started things. I refuse to allow any situation to be blamed on me for drinking. If I don't drink, then we can focus on the real issues.

Get back on your path! You can do this!

:h Best

28 days AF!

[cmhguy3]

I'm a BIG Failure...

You are not a failure! Dust your self off and get back on the horse. You can do it!

[hippie37]

I'm a BIG Failure...

Hey Sweet!

I agree with best here you have to start realizing what your 'triggers' are. They may not have to be all bad either, as was my case. I'd often have moments of euphoria listening to very loud music and I realised when I would do this I always started drinking as well. I didn't always drink through being depressed or under stress etc but I had no control once I'd finished the first can. I'm not saying I avoid playing loud music anymore either!! I'm just more aware of what I'm doing when I do as I know I could easily fall back into my old ways. Triggers can come in many shapes and forms and we do have to be aware of them. This will only come with time and learning from our own mistakes will give us an insight into them. I've also used Cognitive Behavior Therapy which has helped me to move forward and either avoid hiccups altogether or at least give me the knowledge to deal with them in a rational way.



Don't ever feel like you have failed. There are very few who can just stop drinking and move on without 'falling' again. I've done 90 days twice in the past and slipped but both times I learned a lot about the reasons why I slipped and took full responsibility for those (eventually!!) and moved on.


"You're only 3 days sober, for God's sake!
You can't expect to go from Hell to Camelot
overnight!"

I take a few vitamin supplements myself as part of a healthy living 'regime' and I have noticed a difference myself with feeling less fatigued. I'm currently hitting high doses of vitC as I'm full of cold at the moment and I don't like taking all these cold/flue remedies on the market!!. Sounds like you're really seeing the benefits yourself from taking the supplements and vitamins!!

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[Ripple]

I'm a BIG Failure...

sweet..i am a failure too. on a diet and ate a bag of fritos, and 3 chocolate donuts, i am sick as a dog today..just as bad as being wasted! i have to get through today and start over. thats it! START AGAIN..drunk on food is me. :h

[sweet]

I'm a BIG Failure...

Staring over!!!

:thanks:Thanks alot guys! I am starting to recognize my triggers, and have to see them for what they are. I think a part of my mentality on Sat. was, igave myself permission to go balls out. In a weird way, i think I was rewarding myself for the 10 days AF? Does that make sense? I know its not rational, but hey, who is???

[ready2quit]

I'm a BIG Failure...

I'm a failure too!!

Sweet, So glad I read your thread. I also failed this weekend. The longest I've gone is 8 days. I know my triggers, I just haven't been able to take control when they hit. Last night I drank 1 1/2 bottles of wine. (One by myself the the half with my husband) The night before I drank a bottle by myself. I don't know why I do it because I feel so great when I don't drink. Not only just feeling better but also I feel better about myself. I'm taking Campral and it was really working until I screw up and think I can drink. I'm continuing to take the Campral but I know I need to be AF for it to really work. When I'm not sneaking the wine I'm not as anxious about how to hide the bottle and how to get rid of the empty bottle and that in itself takes the edge off. I'm so thrilled when I can go to the store and not buy wine, but then something just hits me and no amount of Kudzu or L-Glut helps and I open the bottle and drink it. Not even trying to limit myself to one or two. Do you take Kudzu? I'm taking 4 two or three times a day with 5,000 Lglut. I can't tell if it really works. I think a lot of it is my mind HAS to be into it for it to work. I'm just going to start over and hope I make it through this week AF. Good luck!!

[tlrgs]

I'm a BIG Failure...

you cant fail .as long as you keep on trying

[gabby1go]

I'm a BIG Failure...

You aren't a failure. Just a small setback. Since you had 10 days AF you know how good it feels. Go back to it and stay strong. We are behind you!

[sweet]

I'm a BIG Failure...

Hey, I totally hear ya!! I know about the triggers, and I do the same thing. Maybe us just being here is a good thing. We are only human, and we make bad decisions sometimes. Keep taking the supps. I think they do work. But in the end, we have to be the ones to put the brakes on!!! I have topo on order. Hope that will work. Keep forging ahead, and DONT GO DOWN THE WINE ISLE AT THE STORE!!!lol see ya , Sweet

[My New Beginning]

I'm a BIG Failure...

Sweet: You are not a failure. I can't count how many times I've tried and failed but I just keep on trying. I had 14 days AF in a row and then when visiting my daughter in the mid west, I had a wine at dinner and the next day had 2 glasses. I don't feel bad about it at all because I'm not in the same frame of mind as I was 3 months ago thanks to MWO. I take Kudzu and it helps alot. I didn't bring it to my daughter's though.
Just keep trying, that's all you can do. One day at a time.

Love and Peace

[songbird]

I'm a BIG Failure...

Hi sweet...how can you call youself a failure after 10 days? That is an accomplishment not too many can do yet (day 5 for me). And in all my attempts 6 was the fall down day...anyway

What I really want to say is that you can't be perfect and sometimes you must go back just a little to remember why you are going forward. You are not at day 1 as long as you keep going. This is what i hated about AA. Thats why i cannot commit to 30 days...yet.

This is supposed to be a learning experience and not a race or contest...THAT is setup to fail to me.

Keep up the good work and don't stress.:h

[out]

I'm a BIG Failure...

Been there chickie...

I have been starting with this first in many posts so one can choose to read or not. I do not follow the MWO program, I have not been particularily successful at sobriety or mods in the past. I am no longer seeking either abs or mods in my life, but am slowly building my life and thoughts around a harm reduction philosophy. That said, some of the things I say may be contraversial to some...but I want to share a few things that have helped me (when I am in a state of mind to remember myself). I have good and bad days and am not always so Zen, but for today...


Identifing triggers is a good idea and a smart cognative behavioral thgerapy approach to things, but I think that digging deeper can be helpful...meaning that for me understanding what alcohol does for me rather than demonizing it or myself helps me with the self loathing that can happen when I have drank too much. The parts of me that feed on the alcohol are not bad parts, they are just parts and sometimes connected even to good sections of who I am. Identifing that needs are there and that alcohol has worked for some of those needs and accepting this has helped me be more accepting myself.

I have recently finished with some work started in cognative behavioral therapy...it has been helpful, but no panecea. I worked with a therapist who gave me the space to discuss my use honestly without judgement while I worked on other things...it is all related after all. This was an incredibly powerful and kind experience whatever the outcome of my drinking habits turn out to be.

Most people don't succeed at this if you count success as abs or mods only. I don't say that to be pessimistic, quite the opposite I say that, because I think we need to all give ourselves a break and realize we are not weak or morally tainted somehow. Most people who drink fluctuate their use throughout their lives from light use , to heavy use, to abs. I am not saying that you or anyone else can not be different, but this is use honestly observed. A lot of people have our struggle, a lot of people aren't even aware of it. Accept your "slip", accept yourself, expect others to accept you too. You are lovable EXACTLY as you are.


Don't have time to write more today. Be kind to yourself today, be kind to someone else today too.

[cowgal]

I'm a BIG Failure...

sweet

You are DEFINITELY NOT a failure, a failure doesn't try again or get up and wipe themselves off, or admit they "messed up a little" You had 10 glorious days AF, now you can get that many and most likely more..................I KNOW YOU CAN, as I know each and every one of us can if we want it bad enough!!

lots of love,:l:h

HUGS for ya!!:l:l

MA