I BLEW IT!!

[Miss October]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi,

Oh my goodness, this thread is just making me shed too many tears. Feel all the love, warmth, understanding, and support from everyone. It's so beautiful.

You will always be an inspiration to us all.

[wantrealmeaning]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi, how are you today. So sorry about your slip. It's a slip and not a relapse and you are most definately not weak Cindi. You didn't even blow it, just slipped. This is a hideous insane disease and I think we are all extremely strong and brave to be on this journey of recovery, what ever stage, and using whatever means necessary.
You are such a lovely person Cindi, you've had a lot of stress in your family recently but have remained strong and positive. Perhaps you were more vunerable than you thought. I have trouble allowing myself to be vunerable and it sometimes makes me more vunerable, if you know what I mean, it can leave you open to surprise attacks.

Take extra special care of you Cindi. :h

Love and hugs :l:l
want
xxx

[Bambi]

I BLEW IT!!

Dearest Cindi,

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today and wondering how you are. I know you have the wedding and all this weekend. Hope all is going good and that you are taking time just for you ........

Take care and God Bless,
Bambi

[FloridaBoy]

I BLEW IT!!

cindi;323319 wrote: I blew it last night. Totally.

I had quit taking the Antabuse last Friday because I ran out and thought I could do it. Hubris.

I bought a small bottle of vodka yesterday and thought I could drink it and have "fun." No excuses. Plain and simple. Period.

Nope. I got drunk. Really drunk and stupid.

Anyone who was on chat with me last night, I apologize profusely.

I am sitting here this morning wondering what is wrong with me. Umm. Yep. I know. I am a drunk. I cannot drink. One would think I know this by now.

I start over again today. I have a call in to the doctor to renew the Antabuse.

Love,
Cindi

No big deal. You learned something you should not forget. The hangovers are really intense even when you drink just a little after being AF. Just remember how you feel today and know that it will always be that way when you drink. Don't ask me how I know. Been there, done that and have the avatar to prove it.

[bootcampbarbie]

I BLEW IT!!

sending you love and a hug honey.

[skippiks]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi You are brave and need not beat yourself up over things that are not your fault in the end we all are reflections of our own experiences if you have the ability to learn from them and the fact of your honesty shows true character and the willingness to do so Keep taking whatever is you need to reach your goal and your reflection will radiate of everything you want to be and already are
Best of Luck
SKIP

[petpeeve]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi, here's hoping you are feeling better about yourself today....keep your chin up and smile!!!!

[Starlight Impress Forever]

I BLEW IT!!

You didn`t blow anything, cindi......you merely tested the water a little bit and discovered that the current is too fast for you, just as it is for all the rest of us who will never make mods work, myself included.

We each have to find our own personal winning formula, and it matters not which tools we use to become sober.......all that truly matters is that we do become sober. You found your winning formula in antabuse......opting to go down that road took huge guts......I admire you immensely, and am glad to hear you`ve refilled your script.......nothing beats being sober, right?

Much love,

Darling x

[CS04]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi,
We have not communicated before, but I have read your posts over the last few months, and you seemed so strong. Is there something that upset you recently? Just wondering what made you drink after what looked like more than 30 or maybe 40 days.

Hope to hear from you, or you can always PM me.

CS

[Theme2be]

I BLEW IT!!

I thought I was the only one that blew it. Phew. Three days of Rum hell. I want my Mom to read this and understand that I am not alone with this holy hell of a disorder. I love all you out there so very much.
Karen, in Vegas.
Sobering up ....

[Dolly Sunshine]

I BLEW IT!!

cindi;323319 wrote: I blew it last night. Totally.

I had quit taking the Antabuse last Friday because I ran out and thought I could do it. Hubris.

I bought a small bottle of vodka yesterday and thought I could drink it and have "fun." No excuses. Plain and simple. Period.

Nope. I got drunk. Really drunk and stupid.

Anyone who was on chat with me last night, I apologize profusely.

I am sitting here this morning wondering what is wrong with me. Umm. Yep. I know. I am a drunk. I cannot drink. One would think I know this by now.

I start over again today. I have a call in to the doctor to renew the Antabuse.

Love,
Cindi

Oh honey..I apologize I have not read any more than your post. you have been such a shining star to me. Not because you were sober but because you were real.Please think of your grandbaby. You have done so well
You have touched so many of us. It doesn't matter what you do,we have all done it. Please just know we are with and love you. You are human.

[Thankful]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi,

I have been off the boards for a couple of days and just now read your post. I'm so sorry that you continue to struggle so much. The one thing that so many here can look to you for is your diligence to always try no matter what. The fact that you never give up is greatly admired.

I think it was very courageous of you to post such brutal honesty. There is no way that someone who continues to try as often as you do can not succeed. Your success story will come soon, I know it will. Keep that belief in yourself strong.

I wish you the best.

Love, Me
:l

[myra]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi

Oh my dear sweet Cindi. Weak is not a word that should come up in your vocabulary when you talk about yourself. You are anything but weak. Crutches/tools are a good thing. Again, if my leg were broken, I'd grab a crutch in a skinny minute. I went off campral because I thought it was not helping a thing. But back on it because I realized it did help as I did not drink while on it. Did not overdo it but it was just a matter of time till i did.

We all love you. Your strength has helped all of us. The fact that you are human helps us all as well.

Love

Myra

[Finding My Self]

I BLEW IT!!

Cindi - I am just sending you so many good wishes, thoughts, love, prayers, affirmations, angels, flowers and sunshine...... "The night is dark that never finds the dawn..." Keep going, love.....and the dawn will come as dawns have to and the day be bright and cheering.

I so hope you're doing ok..... See what love you have here...love goes to lovely people. And the gift you give us is inspiration and trust - wow. Thank you.

Hugs
FMS xx