It took me six years to get to the state I was in before the detox. The last three months is the first time in my life when I've actually lived on my own, a new town, no friends (still haven't, apart from my son and daughter in law) but I feel at peace with myself now.
Up to 15 days ago I could easily get through a bottle of vodka a day, sometimes more. I was SO lonely, depressed, cried most of the time, had severe panic attacks so didn't go out for weeks. Might sound stupid but maybe getting in such a state was a blessing in disguise...something just seemed to "click" one day and I thought this has to stop.
My 3 kids have been so very supportive, they keep telling me how great it is to have their mum back again. I'm geting phone calls and emails congratulating me, it's brilliant. I don't feel at all embarssed about talking about it (actually thought I would) but i find it helps, it is an illness after all. one from which we're all trying to recover from.
The panic has improved and depression have improved no end and I'm now able to go out again, usually have someone with me but couldn't have done that a few weeks ago.
My daughter and boyfriend came through yesterday and she was actually in tears. I'd braved it and been to the hairdressers, bought some new clothes and put some make up on. ( something I haven't bothered with for a long time) She was so emotional, just couldn't believe the difference in such a short time. We went for a lovely walk along the river bank then sat in a pub garden for a couple of hours. I had absolutely no craving for AL. Had 3 lovely glasses of fresh orange.
We came back here, had dinner and I have to say it was one of the best days i've had in a very long time.
I 'm just so sorry I've put my kids through this but hopefully I can make it up to them and be the mum they deserve.
Wishing all of you the best and thank you for your support.
Love Minty. xx
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