Hi all need help I know

[twinsmommy]

Hi everyone. I did not get through all the posts from my scary story but I am working on it. This is my first time back> I know I am lucky and really want to stop drinking. I just can't. I can't go to rehab (although that seems my direction) And AA did not work. I tried it several times. The only thing that did work was this. Well really the Topamax. when I went off I slowly started drinking again. Going to the doc every 2/3 weeks was a HUGE financial strain. I got the L-Glut from here and that does help with the cravings a lot but I still drink. With the Topa I could not finish a drink. Has anyone ordered it online? Is that safe?

Really want to stop this crap!!!!!!!!!!
I HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Wooflet]

Hi all need help I know

Hey twinsmommy so great to hear from you - I've been thinking about you since the weekend and hoping you're feeling better. I don't have any experience with Topa or other meds so I can't help you there. Meds do weird things to me so I'm going it with the other tools (supplements, CDs, spending lots of time here). However I have read posts by people who buy Topa online - hopefully someone will come along soon and give you a reliable place to order it from.

I'm so glad you've come back, you're obviously committed to beating this thing and with the support of this community YOU CAN DO IT.

Love
Wooflet x

PS Hope your son is better now

[twinsmommy]

Hi all need help I know

He is thanks. Took him until yesterday, he was a hurtin little puppy. Wish I got it so I would not drink. Sick huh? Aside from when I was on Topa and first started here, the only times I have not drank at some point in the evening is when I was pregnant and my kids were babies and when I am sick. (or my kids are but I don't want them sick of course)

[Wooflet]

Hi all need help I know

I just did a search of these boards and it seems that River Pharmacy is a reliable place to buy Topa.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...opa-15207.html

I'm glad your little boy is feeling better. With your determination, the Topa and the support of everyone here you'll soon be at the stage where you won't need to be sick to go AF. :l

Wooflet x

[Guest]

Hi all need help I know

So good to hear from you again.. addictions are horrid SOB's to deal with. Everyday is a battle, it is for me. I believe in the end it will all work out, and this struggle will just make the victory that much more sweeter.

[LVT25]

Hi all need help I know

Twinsmommy, I'm glad you posted today. I've been thinking about you a lot! I'm not sure where you are at with this program, but if you can't go to rehab, this could be the next best thing! HANG IN THERE!

[southernbelle47]

Hi all need help I know

I posted this on the other thread but thought I would bring it over here also...:h


OK......TRUTH hurts.......but it is the only thing you need to hear...

You have a choice.....life or death...
for yourself first and foremost and also for your children.

I recommend life...

Step 1.

Get on your knees and ask God for help and forgiveness.
It is already there.....it's a free gift....paid for.

Then get up "take up your (pity) mat and be healed".

Step 2. Ask for help from another and another place-person until you get it. You can find it if you keep asking..

Step 3. Ask your family to forgive you and give you another chance.
Do not lie about anything....

Step 4. Learn to love yourself.......God does and He doesn't make junk!

:lNancy
Deuteronomy 30:15-20
"I have set before you today life and good, death and evil.....choose life."

[nancy]

Hi all need help I know

Hi Twinsmommy

If the topa worked for you, with tolerable side effects, why not go back on it? Seems so hard to find a solution for this problem that if you get some success, stick with it.
Are you saying you had to pay for doctor visits regularly to monitor it? Can you talk to the doctor and see if you can do without so many visits? Or are you saying you can't afford the pills themselves?

So many people order online as well and you could ask around about quality but Ihave not read many complaints from the ordering side, aside from the fact that it takes a very long time for the supply to come.

[twinsmommy]

Hi all need help I know

I am going to go ahead with the topa. The docs around here are crazier than I am. Aside from that I did try to go longer max is 3 weeks and it was a $45 copay every time and the topa is $70 copay b/c it is not an approved drug by my lovely insurance. I am going to try ordering online. Sucks that my wallet was stolen I had a script for it in there and could have used it to hold me while I waited. That is the only thing that worked and I am sooooooooo beyond tired of this shit. Sorry for the language. I love life and my kids and I just want to be great for them and me. I can deal with low BP.

[tlrgs]

Hi all need help I know

and most of all twinsmommy.. even with the meds and all that other stuff out there
unless you are ready and welling to help yourself . nothing will really work.
count your blessing and do what you know you have to do.
it takes will power and training and just saying no . and yes it is that easy.
you have that power within yourself ..and here think of that blackout as your" rock bottom" wake up call" use that to help you see the light at the end of the tunnel.
peace ,love and god bless good luck

[janedunn26]

Hi all need help I know

Dear Twinsmommy,
I don't have the "majic words". They don't exist. I wish, we all wish they did.

Some important issues have already been addressed. Forgive yourself! Start today and you and your children are worth fighting for. Find support! Here, with friends, church if you are so inclined, wherever you feel you can share your story and find support. And Trlgs post is certainly on point. I am taking that one to heart myself and copying parts of it to my screen saver.

I'm not really in a position to give much advice as I'm finding my way. Just know that you are not alone in this journey and your among others fighting with you who can offer some great advice as they already have! I use the advice I read every day.

God bless.

[CS04]

Hi all need help I know

Twins mom,
Go to Topamax's website - they have a brochure you can print for 42 free 25-mg pills; you take it with your script to the pharmacy. I am sure if you call your dr. and tell him/her that your wallet was stolen, he/she can call it into the pharmacy. Not sure if it will work for non-1st time users, though. I couldn't use it: my ob/gyn wrote my script for 50 mg, so I will try to use the coupon next time (I have seen this coupon in the newspaper several times, then went looking for it online, then it showed up again in the Sunday magazine). That might help your finances. My Topa was $60 with insurance so that is a definite bite.

Good luck,
CS

[fairyfeet]

Hi all need help I know

Hi

Hi twinsmommy
Are your twins boys or girls how old are they
The least timeI had between my kids was 16 month but twin arghhh I wouldnt know where to start!
But from one Mum to another, just take things one day at a time and try to get some practical help if you can
I dont know about you but drinking was my escape route from responsibilities, I was lucky several times like you Im sure when we drink we get into a different state of mind, Im sure sometimes it makes us feel invincible when we are at our most vulnerable
I dont know how long you have been drinking for or how much and I would be a hypocrite to say I know how to stop, but there were times when I guess I completely rebelled against life and my circumstances and simply went on a bender
It seemed like I never got a break unless I was 'out of it'
Could you be suffering with delayed post natal depression?
ps you aint just twinsmommy you are still you and need to take a bit of you time sober and with your husband too