Stupid question

[twinsmommy]

Why is being AF so freakin scary to someone who is still drinking? I just posted that I am going to Lenair, I talked to BD and heard all about how great things are, my brother is sober over 20 years and very happy, and I am having an anxiety attack thinking about not drinking!
WTF???

[caseaday]

Stupid question

Because at this moment in time AL has convinced you that he is your friend. You have been through a lot together...picnics, birthday parties, lunches, dinners, happy hours, and the list goes on and on. You have been through good times and bad times together. In addition, he was there for you when everyone had abandoned you and you were alone. Your relationship has lasted for years...how do you break up with such a great friend? How do you tell him that everyone else is going out for dinner and he can't come with because you have a new friend now called "Happy".

I used to go to restaurants with my boozing friends and think, "that poor table of people over there. they just don't know how much fun they are missing out on. they aren't even drinking. what a waste of time and money."

I only had 20 days of AF a couple of weeks ago and it was amazing how my perspective changed when I went out to dinner with my friend. The perception was completely opposite.

You are smart for asking your stupid question. I wonder how pissed AL is that you are even thinking about breaking up with him! How are you going to tell him?

[bestlifeldms]

Stupid question

Oh TM,

You are so right! It is scarey! For me, it is because drinking was my way of escaping all the pain and problems of this life. I sought refuge there. I used to think I was avoiding, evading the problems, but came to realize that I was only postponing dealing with them. And to make matters worse, I had multiplied them, by drinking, because I added fuel by the things I said and the fact that the focus was then shifted to "MY DRINKING PROBLEM" rather than the actual issues.

Don't be afraid of sobriety. It is actually liberating! I am free!

[DeeBee]

Stupid question

:goodjob:ceaseday, you hit the nail on the head!! I have never thought of it like that. Tonight is my first AF night and it is still young which is why I am scrolling through this site looking for inspiration - I found it in you!!! Thank you!

[Ripple]

Stupid question

oh dear.

QUESTION: where is la la land? Fear is normal .... that will fade away in time. Are you really going to Rehab? :l

[Bambi]

Stupid question

AL is a tough one to break up with and you will mourn him but he needs to be gone from your house and mine. I am at the same cross road.....it is hard but we must choose life without AL and eventually life without him will be so much more then we could ever have imagined.

Together we can all do this!
Best wishes and hugs, Bambi

[KateH1]

Stupid question

Ask yourself............Do you ever wake up the day after drinking, smile, hop out of bed and think....."Damn......I am so glad that I did that!!! I feel so much better now!!!"

I think not!
xxKate

[Peanut]

Stupid question

Good one Kate!!! I'll have to remember that!!!

[twinsmommy]

Stupid question

That was a good one Katie and thanks to all of you. Caseaday thanks.
Ripple no I am going to the lenair healing center. (trying not to talk myself out of it) She is an intuitive healer. Treats addiction. But you know that right?

[tlrgs]

Stupid question

yeah its normal al is a drug. and your body and mind want to keep on having it. you start to think you need it. when in reality you are the same person you were without it .

[twinsmommy]

Stupid question

I so just want to be rid of the anxiety. I am trying to clean up the house and I am pacing (sp) thinking about never being able to even have one glass of wine. It's horrible. i am sure the anxiety of what is going on with DH and I doesn't help.
My kids b-day is tomorrow I have to get it together!

[KateH1]

Stupid question

Yep.....you sure will be missing a lot!!! Just think of it, you will miss all of those lovely blackouts, all of the day after anxiety and guilt. All those embarrasing emails and phone calls. All those days and nights completely wasted on AL. Headaches, Nausea, Depression, Anxiety, Guilt. Boy!! It is really hard to even imagine living life without all of the above!

The twins birthday! What do you want for them? How is your drinking affecting them? How will your drinking affect their future?

Listen, take some vitamin B, some Omega Fish Oils, take a walk outside.....get out of your thinking.....Give yourself and your children the next 24 hours sober!

[twinsmommy]

Stupid question

Thanks Kate you do know how to put things in perspective! Funny how quickly you forget about all the fantastic things you are missing. Geez it was just 3 hours ago I thought I was going to vomit! Thanks for reminding me!

[KateH1]

Stupid question

I guess you can tell, that I have been there before myself!! No, no don't want to ever go there again!

I have often thought, if AL was a pharmaceutical, prescribed by Dr's for Stress and Anxiety, the maladies that we abusive drinkers claim to be the root cause of us "needing or wanting" a drink. If Alcohol carried a warning label saying:
Possible side affects:
Dizziness
nausea
vomiting
loss of self control
temporary personality disorders
lack of common sense
poor judgment
blackouts
destroyed relationships
loss of career
loss of ambition
possible incarceration

etc.etc. etc

followed by:
severe depression
increased anxiety
sleep deprevation
dehydration
loss of appetite
etc. etc. etc.

Would anyone actually be willing to take this as a drug? Especially to cure short term anxiety and depression??????

Just a thought!

[Bambi]

Stupid question

NO...we would never, ever touch the stupid stuff! But we still do, he has a hold on us that we have to destroy! Sometimes it is inch by inch, day by day...but he is being destroyed!