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    I need to get a grip...

    I did my 30 days, 31 actually, and was quite content to carry on being sober when The UEFA cup final (soccer) came on the TV. I'm living with my brother and he invited a few friends round to watch it. I bought myself a bottle of vodka and settled down to watch it. I was talking myself out of it as I was going to the shop; I didn't want to drink. I can't remember the second half. I woke up this morning to find a bottle and a half (1.25 litres) lying empty on the floor. I had to walk into town and I felt OK, if a little wobbly. When I got back to the house, I sat down and the sweats and shakes started. I made myself something to eat and while I was looking at it, I became nausious and started vomiting...
    I went for a lie down, still having nothing to eat for more than 24 hours, and woke up 5 hours later.
    I came on here and read RJ's post about Bear....
    My lady had told me the night before.
    I know what to do.
    I need to get the drunk auto-pilot out of my system. As I write, I can still feel 'drinking' me winning the argument as I walked to the shop
    I need to get a grip.
    I've been here a year and a half, and it's a wonderful place. I've realised, again, that I only have this one chance to live my life. I have the love of a wonderful woman and she, and our little girl deserve better.
    I'm making some lasagne and chips. I'm starving....
    Day 1 and back on track.
    Thanks for listening.

    #2
    I need to get a grip...

    Sorry that happened Popeye. You reminded me of when I first started here. I was quite happy not drinking but did anyway. I was fine for 7 months on mods. I stopped coming here, went off the Topa b/c it really dd not agree with me, and slowly but surely my life went in the shitter! Just check my posts you'll see. Stick to it. You can do it. A lot of people say you should be sober for yourself me personally, I have esteem issues so I want to do it for my kids. Your lady, your little girl, you, all deserve your best.
    Best wishes
    TM
    One out of four people in this country is mentally unbalanced. Think of your 3 closest friends...If they seem OK then you are the one.

    Comment


      #3
      I need to get a grip...

      Popeye.....I'm so sorry about yesterday. Popeye..I remember you so well from last year and how strong and disciplined you are. Notice I said ARE - Al is just trying to mess with your head; show him who's boss - you've done it before, you CAN do it again; tell him where to go!!

      ps Stay close to us

      Janicexxx
      AF since 9 May 2012
      Quit trying to control something that is uncontrollable (Bear February 08)

      Comment


        #4
        I need to get a grip...

        Popeye,

        What a tragic loss of life, Bear's. I could be us. I don't want to live what precious time I have left on "drunk auto-pilot". I want to live in the NOW! Cherish every moment. Remember every moment.

        Blessing and stregnth to you! To all of us!

        Best

        "38 days AF"
        "It wasn't all I wanted, but all I could stand!":bigwink: Alcohol free since April 8, 2008

        Comment


          #5
          I need to get a grip...

          s

          Sorry you are feeling so badly, I am having a rough time too, so don't have any Stellar advice for you except start back af if you can and you will eventually feel better, EVENTUALLY is what I need to remember, I always want immediate gratification, that always leads me to disappointment.

          love,:h:l you will be in my thoughts,:l:h

          MA
          :rays:My happiness is my greatest gift to others:rays:eace:

          Comment


            #6
            I need to get a grip...

            Popeye it is so easy to get caught up in the moment especially when embarking on an event with friends and family.

            I think for most of us who are labeled as 'binge' or 'heavy' drinkers, the novelty of having reached 30 days subsides quickly. Our minds start to play tricks on us and tell us it is OK to have 'a couple' of our favourite beverage. Before you know it - you are waking up with Vodka bottles littered on the floor. Maybe if you want to moderate, drink something you aren't very fond of. You will definitely drink less.

            I have been there countless times in my past. Vodka - the shit is pure EVIL. I would like to classify it in the 'drug' category, because you get a different buzz/glow than with beer or wine. Well, for me anyway.

            You have so much going for you in your life right now. Keep your eyes on the prize, hon.

            Comment


              #7
              I need to get a grip...

              as the saying goes grab the bull by the horns and ride baby ride .stay strong popeye it happens to the best of us ..remember the feeling and ask yourself if you ever want to feel like that again ..and the answer will or should be no ..peace and god bless
              :beach: life does change as long as you are willing to change yourself ..
              best thing about the future it comes one day at a time..

              Comment


                #8
                I need to get a grip...

                Thanks folks...
                I'll be fine now. It's funny; I know that I'll not have another drink for weeks.
                I've taken RJ's words on board...

                Our most cuddly member is no longer with us. But I know his spirit will live on always. Please, honor his memory by continuing his important work in becoming a healthy and vibrant individual
                Thanks RJ....and Bear

                Comment


                  #9
                  I need to get a grip...

                  Pops, I have been here almost 2 years...eek and still have weak moments that I regret. Just remember how much better you are now than before you came here. We are all a work in progress.

                  Happy you are feeling better. hugs
                  "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

                  Comment


                    #10
                    I need to get a grip...

                    Popeye--maybe you should have your spinach!!!
                    _______________
                    NF since June 1, 2008
                    AF since September 28, 2008
                    DrunkFree since June 1, 2008
                    _____________
                    :wings: In memory of MDbiker aka Bear.
                    5/4/2010 In loving memory of MaryAnne. I pray you've found peace my friend.
                    _______________
                    The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.ray:

                    Comment


                      #11
                      I need to get a grip...

                      Oh popeye, so sorry that you are feeling rough .........

                      It will pass and soon be a distant memory ..........

                      Be strong love,

                      Love & Big BB Hugs .........:h:l:h:l
                      sigpicXXX

                      Comment


                        #12
                        I need to get a grip...

                        Everything will be fine shortly. You're a very strong man, you just hit a speed bump.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          I need to get a grip...

                          Popeye,

                          I empathize with your experience. It took me the better part of 40 days to even begin to heal my body from the devastation of 20+ years of drinking, the last 10 yrs on heavy side. But alas, I too recently rejoined the land of the lushes, had one too many and am once again on my 2nd day 4. Anyway, I think I'm on to AL in that I have come to realize one good night of drinking will inflict anywhere from 2-10 days of feeling just plain crappy where conveniently booze will immediately erase the pain and the cycle is endlessly repeated repeated repeated...

                          As they say, don't play and you won't get burned. Please pass the salve!
                          Is Addiction Really a Disease?
                          Watch this and find out....
                          http://youtu.be/ekDFv7TTZ4I

                          Comment


                            #14
                            I need to get a grip...

                            Popeye, you sound confident. I have no doubt that you will find your inner peace and center again.

                            You know all the drills and the speeches by now. Just wanted to let you know that I am cheering you on. You can do it!


                            Love, Me
                            :l
                            Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              I need to get a grip...

                              Popeye, Sorry to hear about the vodka bout........what we can give to others is greater than what we take from ourselves...love you
                              rudemama

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