very interesting, and when you say you can't explain your question I think i actually understand it now, as ironic as that might seem.
for the longest time I struggled with the "why can't I drink like the majority of people" question. finally I got my answers to that one, then other questions come to us.
I recently got this link from Lucky and would like to share it as I found it quite interesting:
Bruce Lipton Ph.D.: Mind Over Genes: The New Biology
Also I understand you are not a big fan of Tolle but I'd really urge you to give his book another try. I'm starting to really understand it ( I have the audio book on CD) on my second time listening. he refers to a type of person he calls the "keepers of the frequency" that reminds me of you, and in some ways myself. A person that for whatever reason is very introspective and doesn't fit in with the conventional social scene. These people are often mired in depression and substance abuse early in their lives, then gradually grow out of that and find their calling quite often as healers or artists. They stay out of the foreground but serve a vital role in maintaining a higher state of consciousness in a better world. I don't think I'm doing a very good job of explaining this but hopefully you get the drift.
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