Tues., May 20th

[retteacher]

Hi Everyone: I thought I'd start a daily thread (at least for today) here in General. I had let myself fall away from really reaching out in MWO, & that led to a relapse. Therefore, I'm back to spending quality time here reading & posting. I'm on day 5 AF, but I'm planning a very long run, e.g. a lifetime.

I read yesterday on one of the threads that drinking goes to a whole new level when we start to drink alone. At the end of my drinking, that was my main method of alcohol consumption. I had a hiding place for my bottle & sipped out of coffee cups. This terrible habit was very hard my mind, body, & soul. When I feel like I want to go on a bender, I absolutely must try to go back to the memory of myself drinking that way. Often, that's enough to forestall a drinking bout.

I hope you all have a wonderful day & fulfill your goals (mod/abs).

Mary

[Ripple]

Tues., May 20th

Hi Mary, I will join you today. I have had 2 bouts (SLIPS) now in almost going towards 8 months! I don't feel like going back to drinking, I can say that much. NO WAY. I am testing so to speak things out, trying to see wot it is like to have some. Well, i feel GUILTY as HELL. I will go to AA tomorrow, because i know they know when people are doing WRONG. I am playing with my own mind right now. I don't feel to be in danger yet, although, if i keep this crap up, i will be a MESS again. I am with you on this thread and any others. LET US BE SAFE! :fingers:

[bestlifeldms]

Tues., May 20th

Retteacher,

I am so very happy for you. And excited about the future. I am 43 days AF today. I also drank alone, and hid (supposedly) my drinking. However, my entire family knew and agonized about it. I was going down-hill like a lead sled! This way of life is more wonderful than anything I could have imagined. I wish you the same!

:l Hugs, Best

[Muddle]

Tues., May 20th

Thank you for starting this thread, Retteacher. That's exactly what I need to do--"go back to the memory of myself drinking that way." I need to remember how awful I felt afterwards, how awful I acted, and the relationships I damaged. Today is Day 9 AF, and I don't think that could have happened without this site.

[retteacher]

Tues., May 20th

I read on another website that when we feel tempted, we should try to find yucky photos of ourselves under the influence. That pictorial should be enough of a deterrant to taking the first drink. M

[Tiny]

Tues., May 20th

Good ideas ... I get sick thinking of some of the ways I have looked -- hair a mess, face bright red, bleary eyed... makes my beloved pug look good!

[SuperBernie]

Tues., May 20th

Mary - thank you for bringing that to light. I am struggling with drinking alone and yes, i do hide it from my family which is kinda dumb of me because they know. I wish I could just put a stop to it and start fresh. I'll go AF for a few days, feel great and then slip up and feel like crap. I feel like a hamster on a wheel doing the same thing over and over again hoping for a different result. I want to get off of the "hamster wheel" and see life without that alcohol haze. I haven't ordered the supps because i'm strapped for cash. thinking to go to the dr for a topomax prescription. I feel like i'm getting nowhere fast.

i need help.

:helpme:

[cmhguy3]

Tues., May 20th

Welcome Back!

I was also a closet solo drinker, and I to fell back a bit recently after a good stretch of sobriety. I feel it was ok that I "slipped" back for a bit because it reassured me that I was on the right path. Besides isnt it grand to wake up on a rainy Tuesday morning in a fantastic mood and not hung over? Woo Hoo!

Guy

[retteacher]

Tues., May 20th

SBernie: Keep trying & never give up. I can't tell you how many times I've slipped, binged, & relapsed. I joined in Apr.'07 & escalated my drinking until July'07. I then went on a very long AF run, slipped, & went right back to AF. Since March, I've had a hard time, but I refuse to give up. Right now, I'm 5 days sober & enjoying it. The slips taught me that I am (emphatically) NOT a normal drinker. Moderation is not in the cards for me. MWO is the source of my strength.

Mary

PS: For various reasons I don't take any of the supps or Topo. I take my usual multi & that works fine for me.