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    #1

    to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

    I honestly know the answer to this already, but I just wanted to run it by MWO members in the U.K. A few female friends and I have a good friend who is male; we met through a divorce group. He/we never had any romantic interest in one another whatsoever. Last year, he got very fast into a serious relationship with an English woman (lives here in the States now) and since then things have been very awkward. We've been very welcoming to her, etc.,but she seems quite insecure and we can no longer see him without her attached. It is quite a friendship killer as I feel she just wants to be present because she is afraid of his having friends of the opposite sex. HOWEVER, she actually tried to use the "cultural difference" excuse, and told him that in her own circle in Britain, people expect to barely ever see their "mates" again after finding a significant other. !! I believe it is a load of horseshit and am simply looking for some comfirmation .. thanks
    :boxer: Get the hell out of my house, Al, you worthless bastard!!
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    #2
    to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

    Yes that is absolutely true BUT only when you are 14! And I do believe its an international teenage dating rule not just specific to the UK!
    BH

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      #3
      to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

      I believe it is a crock of horse shit.

      It is called - insecurity. She is insecure and probably has jelousy/trust issues. When one in a relationship cuts the other person off of their friends, (good friends) it usually is due to insecurity, low self-esteem, trust and/or jelousy issues.

      Comment

        #4
        to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

        Yup, deep do-do. Unless, of course, she gets no alone time with him, she is being rediculous.
        The furture lies before you like newly fallen snow - be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

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          #5
          to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

          well being UK born and bred I am just perfectly qualified to answer this question. Here if you never get to see your mate again after they meet someone means that someone is a controlling, manipulative, insecure weirdo with issues. That's the official UK cultural take! Hope it helps! (But I know, sorry, it won't)

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            #6
            to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

            Yep, I reckon she is really insecure. Cultural differences????!!! Surely that would make you want to spend time with people - to learn more about them........
            Surely he can see this situation is not good?
            Amelia

            Sober since 30/06/10

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              #7
              to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

              I still see all my friends...one of my good friends is an ex boyfriend too.
              I have male friends and female friends.......
              Amelia

              Sober since 30/06/10

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                #8
                to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                ANSWER FROM ENGLAND

                Hi

                I think it depends on who your partner is. The woman is insecure. In the olden days you were expected to give up any male friends (if you had any). My partner and I finished at Christmas but we are still friends. He is now in another relationship which I find difficult but I have to accept because I couldn't give him what he wanted - I preferred the bottle.

                I can't see the relationship lasting - he jumped quickly and probably for the wrong person - I'm sure he'll be back.

                Linda

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                  #9
                  to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                  Got to add my two penneth here ....... most of my friends and women ........ Im lucky, my wife doesn't have a problem with this ......... but alot of my friends partners are not so understanding ........... lots of us were single when we all met and over the years partners have come and gone ............ it seems to be getting more of a trend, that if we get together for a coffee or a chat then they seem to neglect to mention that I was there .......... just because it's easier that way! ............ it makes me mad as hell ........ I just dont understand controling people, but the world seems full of them ...........

                  W

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                    #10
                    to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                    It sounds controlling to me...she has to be with him all the time to see who he talks to, who calls, what he does during the day. If I had to check on the person I was with that much, I couldn't be bothered.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                      Hmmmm, I have had male partners do this to me. Don't know if it's a UK thing at all but I have seen people go into partnerships who really become insular.

                      It's his choice though.

                      I do a lot of sport and study as well as occasional work. A lot of guys in my past have asked/expected me to stop going to the gym, doing my running, cycling etc - often they are jealous and say I only participate in these activities to get other male attention! Or I should be spending that time with them.

                      I am lucky my partner and I have our own seperate lives, but stay closely in touch and see each other when we can.

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                        #12
                        to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                        Your poor friend is all I can say...I would hate to be in that kind of relationship...In my experence these relationships never work so Im pleased to hear he has some good friends to fall back on...God my hubby has so many female friend..ha he thinks his a stud..:H:H:H:H....Guess the thing is Im secure enough about myself so it doesnt bother me.
                        I do have a friend who suffers from insurcurity and have seen her in tears many a time as it makes her life hell but she just cant help it...Anyway sending love to you and your friend :h
                        Jacqui xxxx
                        Mwo,s worst speller....

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                          #13
                          to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                          Nah. Fish and chips is a cultural difference. Being insecure and manipulative is sadly the same the world over. Does she try to prevent him seeing his male friends as well or just his female friends?
                          sigpic
                          AF since December 22nd 2008
                          Real change is difficult, and slow, and messy - Oliver Burkeman

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                            #14
                            to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                            I have to agree, it sounds like insecurity to me. I can sort of understand about the 'same sex' friendships but at the end of the day a relationship needs to be built on trust. My hubby has to spend a fair amount of time with female work colleagues(staying away etc). I just trust him, basically.
                            I don't think I'd go out alone with a 'male' friend but maybe I'm old fashioned! Most of my friends tend to be female just cos I spend most of my time looking after kids and socialize with other mums.
                            Hopefully as this relationship develops then she will learn to let him loose more! I can't see this behaviour being particularly British!
                            Hope it works out-
                            Eviex
                            Jesus said"Come unto me, all you who labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
                            Take My yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls.
                            For my yolk is easy and My burden is light                            "

                            Comment

                              #15
                              to my friends in Britain - question re friendship

                              I'd worry more if a lot of this time was spent with one woman. If he's with a group of you gals, what could he possibly be doing? Having wild orgies??

                              My ex-hubby had a group of girlfriends when he was in law school, and I never got the feeling that he was romantically interested in one of them. He was a sweet guy, and they enjoyed being with him. It was good for his head. I used to tease him about his "harem". I met the girls several times, and they were all very nice.

                              This woman must be very insecure. I hope things get set to rights very soon.
                              AF as of August 5th, 2012

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