I was doing so well.........

[dronypoint]

I have been AF for a while now. In fact 5 months and 26 days.
This is with the help of antabuse and a weekly meeting.
I recently have been doing loads of fitness, running and cycling. Everything was so good. Then I slipped. Went to a pub, intending to have a soft drink. Then realised that I had not taken the antabuse for 3 days.
My booze brain said - 'why not, you have been good and deserve a reward'
Well the soft drink turned into 1 pint and then into 2. Then bought a bottle of my old favourite - red wine.
I drank that over the next few hours.
This morning I felt so bad, hungover and guilty. Have been worse, but thought that i had beaten the beast. well the beast took over for a few hours.
Took antabuse today, and do not want to do this again. I'm doing all the right things, just want the feelings of guilt and failure to go.
So close to 6 months - oh well the only way is up. Lapse - not a relapse.
Note to self - Must take my little white pill every day.

[Chief]

I was doing so well.........

Drony....glad you posted. You could have easily just started drinking again today because you had a lapse yesterday. I commend you on your honesty and strength to get right back on the horse.

Now, let's talk about it.....

"Then I slipped. Went to a pub, intending to have a soft drink. Then realised that I had not taken the antabuse for 3 days.
My booze brain said - 'why not, you have been good and deserve a reward'"

I want you to try and think back and recall the last 4 days.....The Beast has orchestrated this whole thing. You don't just not take your antabuse for 3 days and then suddenly realise it when you are conveniently sitting in a pub. The Beast told you you were cured....that you didn't need that antabuse anymore....you've gone 175 days, you're working out...you've got this thing licked....

I can just hear the son of a bitch in your ear right now....devious bastard...

He got you.....plain and simple.

Of course you feel guilty and upset. You should. I would be very upset with myself for getting tricked like that.....

But don't beat yourself up. You did almost 6 months. That counts. That's important. That shows you can do it.


But the greatest part of this is I don't think this will ever happen again....

Stay strong and be alert for The Beast.....he knows if he can get you to take just one drink, then you're done. There is no such thing as one drink.

I'm glad you're here and sharing this with everyone....

Go for a run today to clear the cobwebs....it was a lapse in judgement, not a relapse back to your old ways....

Don

[Accountable for Me]

I was doing so well.........

Try not to feel too badly about it. Beating yourself up will only make you feel worse.

If you drank last night, won't taking the antabuse make you sick, if you take it today? Be careful with it.

Hang in there. I did the same thing last year. I had over 5 months AF and tested the waters. I didn't get drunk, but my stoooopid mind decided that I could magically 'moderate' once in a while. It just led to a couple of binges after that. :l

[dronypoint]

I was doing so well.........

Thanks, I know that I am doing the right thing, and am back on the road to recovery.

Yes the antabuse did make me feel ill. I waited a bit, but not quite long enough. Been feeling off colour and had a headache, so must have had a trace of booze in me. Feeling almost fine now, taken loads of vitamin C, which does help rid you of acetaldehyde.

I just wanted people to know that a lapse does not have to turn into a relapse. So much for feeling cocky about 'nearly 6 months'.

[caseaday]

I was doing so well.........

Drony...it is a very good thing that you immediately have taken action to get back on track! I agree with Chief in that the beast had been working on his evil little project for a few days before you actually drank at the pub. Now you know what he is up to and can prevent it in the future.

Don't be too hard on yourself...you have taught us all a valuable lesson about keeping our guard up!