so how is it...

[me145]

i know theres different reasons for alcoholism. genetics, lifestyles, depression, etc. I kinda dont get something though. the other night my friend and i each had two glasses of wine with dinner at her house. she didnt finish her second glass. however, i know it made her feel good and happier. so my question is, if alcohol mostly makes people feel better, how come it is that people dont ALL drink often? its making them feel better? why dont they want to drink often? just curious. anyone know? what makes them feel like stopping as my friend left a little bit in her glass?

[KateH1]

so how is it...

Good Question. I really "got it" when I read RJ's book. It is when we can treat "wine" or any alcohol as if it were "butter". Butter is yummy, it enhances many foods, but too much is bad for us. So when we can simply enjoy butter (ie.AL) and be perfectly satisfied with just a little, we simply do not have a problem. I do not "crave" butter everyday! I do not have to sop up every last bit on my plate! Wine, well, once I start........who knows where it will go from there! So, I just do not start with it!

[me145]

so how is it...

gotcha, good way of putting it. im sure its also something we cant understand. our brains are all different. they might just have a switch in their brain where they just feel like stopping.

[hippie37]

so how is it...

For me it was probably all about conditioning and how I perceived alcohol from such an early age. Alcohol was something that got you pissed and that's the way I've always perceived alcohol and how I drank too; to get pissed. No half measures with me and I proved this aged 12 when I drank nearly a full bottle of whisky neat. Of course other factors came into play along the way but I think it was my original perceptions of alcohol that have been conditioned through life and all the crap that comes with it that have lead me to where I am today.

Love and Happiness
Hippie
xx

[caseaday]

so how is it...

I was conditioned that AL = Fun. From a very early age it was part of every weekend, wedding, funeral, graduation party, bonfire, campfire, etc. So in my mind if I wanted to have fun at anytime I just needed to drink alcohol. Fun in the morning, fun in the afternoon, fun before meetings, fun after meetings. Then you finally realize that you are the only one having fun...and actually you aren't having fun. Wait a minute...what happened to the fun. Damn...I am addicted to this stuff and need it to survive the day. This isn't much fun anymore! Got to find a new definition of fun!

[cowgal]

so how is it...

for me

I think, for me it is physical as well as mental..........................

I have this MENTAL OBSESSION w/ al, that it is fun to drink, it will make me happy, it will numb all these feelings I don't want to feel, it will make me forget the bad ones I am feeling now...............

Then the PHYSICAL addiction kicks in, and YEP, I can actually "feel"it kicking in after a few beers, it is when I want more and more and more and there is just never enough to get rid of the pain, make me feel better, you name it, to get back to "that place", is impossible once I get past a point..................

That is my experience, though, so I can only speak for myself.....................

love,:l:h

MA

[boozehag]

so how is it...

I know so many people who drink in moderation. They enjoy it but they just stop when they have had enough. Their brain tells them they have had enough. Like having enough food or having enough water. Unfortunately I am missing the enough button in my brain - there was never enough only more more more.... I think it is how the brains are wired to receive the chemical (AL) and I think that can be from genetics, conditioning or whatever. My dad always said to me to stay away from the drink because my grandfather was an alcoholic that my Dad had to help when he was a kid and my Dad (who doesnt drink at all) was convinced that even though alcoholism wasnt hereditary (in his opinion) he reckoned it weakened the genes so we were more susceptible. I dont know whether that is true of not but I know my brain behaves differently when it gets alcohol than most other people I know.
BH

[Mags]

so how is it...

Very good question me145. I wish I knew the answer.

The first time I ever took a drink my life changed forever. I could never find the "enough" button and turn it on. I don't think I have one. I think I was born without one. Most people have one and it kicks on automatically. I just don't think I have one. I am a perfectly disciplined and in control person in all other aspects of my life. But once I start drinking, I can't stop - for days, weeks, months. It damn near killed me.

At least that's how I used to be. I don't know how I am now. I don't drink anymore. I hope I never do again.

We're just different. That's all. Biochemically, we're just different. We have to learn to live with that in whatever way works for us as individuals.

Good luck to everyone.

[ntcentral]

so how is it...

There is such a stigma to being a person who can't control his/her drinking. I believe that there are some of us who quite literally don't have that "enough"button in our brain. We are people who have a special reaction to alcohol. Mags, the first time I ever took a drink, my life changed forever too. I remember that very first time----I looked at every one else (it was before a high school dance and we were drinking very cheap wine in the back of a station wagon) and I couldn't figure out why they weren't as wide-eyed with wonder as I was. I was the only one of the bunch who got skunk drunk--and this the first time having tasted AL. After the dance, I was dropped off at home and had to crawl upstairs on my hands and knees in my prom dress.

I forsee that someday, an inborn propensity to abuse AL will be viewed as a physical disorder, akin to diabetes or an allergy to peanuts. Yeah, it's too bad that some of us have it, but with proper diet (in our case, abstinence), the condition can be managed. The fact that we have this propensity doesn't take away the responsibility we have for our own behavior. But viewing it as a physical condition mitigates against some of the shame and the guilt that so many of us feel because we can't handle drinking. The bottom line is: some people can drink with moderation and some of us should never touch the stuff. Ever.

[Muddle]

so how is it...

Reading your posts about AL tasting good at an early age reminds me of something I haven't thought of in a while. When I was 6 years old or so, my father used to give me the marachino cherry out of his manhattan. I'm sure he didn't even think about the AL, he just didn't like cherries. I used to suck the whiskey off the cherry and thought it was the best taste--couldn't wait to be 21 and get to drink a whole glass of it (and more and more and more).

[FloridaBoy]

so how is it...

me145;331075 wrote: i know theres different reasons for alcoholism. genetics, lifestyles, depression, etc. I kinda dont get something though. the other night my friend and i each had two glasses of wine with dinner at her house. she didnt finish her second glass. however, i know it made her feel good and happier. so my question is, if alcohol mostly makes people feel better, how come it is that people dont ALL drink often? its making them feel better? why dont they want to drink often? just curious. anyone know? what makes them feel like stopping as my friend left a little bit in her glass?

Many people can take or leave AL. They know when to say when. Speaking for my self, I think my brain is different. :nutso: When I drink I am like the Energizer bunny...I just keep going. I'll have a damn good buzz and just keep going. Is it genetic? I dunno but I have always been like this.

[FloridaBoy]

so how is it...

caseaday;331128 wrote: I was conditioned that AL = Fun. From a very early age it was part of every weekend, wedding, funeral, graduation party, bonfire, campfire, etc. So in my mind if I wanted to have fun at anytime I just needed to drink alcohol. Fun in the morning, fun in the afternoon, fun before meetings, fun after meetings. Then you finally realize that you are the only one having fun...and actually you aren't having fun. Wait a minute...what happened to the fun. Damn...I am addicted to this stuff and need it to survive the day. This isn't much fun anymore! Got to find a new definition of fun!

Been there too. My new 'fun' is no more hangovers. Now that is fun and it feels great.

[Accountable for Me]

so how is it...

caseaday;331128 wrote: I was conditioned that AL = Fun. From a very early age it was part of every weekend, wedding, funeral, graduation party, bonfire, campfire, etc. So in my mind if I wanted to have fun at anytime I just needed to drink alcohol. Fun in the morning, fun in the afternoon, fun before meetings, fun after meetings. Then you finally realize that you are the only one having fun...and actually you aren't having fun. Wait a minute...what happened to the fun. Damn...I am addicted to this stuff and need it to survive the day. This isn't much fun anymore! Got to find a new definition of fun!

Me too. This sums me up to a tee.

[Captnjack]

so how is it...

For me chronic shyness and lack of self esteem> It was the magic liquid that cured this . Then a mis guided belief about being creative. I was involved in the music scene here in Melbourne during the 80s played in bands AL every where> I dumbly believe we were invincible.Such a silly idiot is what I think now.
Cap

[Bessie]

so how is it...

I was pondering this only this morning. How come my friend can not drink for weeks and can leave an opened box of wine in the fridge for weeks? How come I had a cigarette with a friend last week, thoroughly enjoyed it and won't now have another one for weeks? Why can't I have either of those attitudes/addictions (or lack of) with wine?

I have got the alcohol = fun burnt bit in my brain. I am hoping it can be retrained, at least partially. That's why I am here.

Bessie xx